Hubby knew what I needed!

Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)

But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!

But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance!  Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!  

I asked him why?   He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot.  He saw that I was becoming slowly distant.   And guess what?  He was RIGHT!  I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.  

We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that!   And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!!  But after that something still didnt feel right.   I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance.    I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out.    But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...)  to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do. 

So into our closet once again!   I felt so much better after that!  I need to have NOOOO control!  NONE, that is his job!  

I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me.  He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him.  (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance)  He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is!  I am so thankful!  

I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed!  It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us!   It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.

I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......

What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control?  (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)   

So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD? 
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!

Thanks yall!

~Jane DDLearning