I'm here and I don't know what to say.
This lifestyle works for us! Every time we implement it, it works!
Then somehow we get off track.
When we do I start feeling unbalanced. I find myself not paying attention to the rules that were ONCE there, and letting my mind wonder and not respecting my HOH as much.
I don't like this.
I have brought it back up to my HOH but I hate being the one to bring it up. :(
Does anyone feel the need to have TiH, DD, CDD, LDD lifestyle to feel like you BELONG to your HOH?
Maybe it's because of some past, recent issues I have been dealing with but I need that foundation, structure, feeling secure and like I belong to someone and they are going to protect me.
I have done so much research on this lifestyle and even though we KNOW it works for us, why can't we stick to it?
We do good for months and then slip.
I was just about to write an ebook on it to help other couples starting out on this lifestyle, and that is still what I want to do.
With the above questions, how do you feel about the feeling of belonging to him?
~Jane (Sorry I have been MIA)
Showing posts with label force. Show all posts
Showing posts with label force. Show all posts
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thoughts on the Draw to Domestic Discipline: Why Do I Want to be Punished?
Interesting article I found somewhere that is so informative!
This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”
“Why would I want to spank my wife?”
Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that."
We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with.
There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.
But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved.
Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.
A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.
Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.
Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?
We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.
This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”
“Why would I want to spank my wife?”
Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that."
We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with.
There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.
But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved.
Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.
A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.
Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.
Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?
We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.
Spanking survey! Interesting!
We hit a bad spot in our marriage that almost left us in a divorce and me and him almost cheating on each other. You see I've always been bossy, and need to have things my way. I never mean to be selfish, but I stay in control and want to do things a certain way. However at same time I want to be told what to do, dominated, and have someone take care of me. At the time my husband didn't do that. I felt like I could walk all over him, and I did. I wanted to know there is someone that is bigger, stronger, in control, and can handle my stubborn attitude. I wanted to know there is someone that will say "No, you can't do that" or "Don't talk to me like that" and wasn't afraid to back it up with a spanking if I didn't listen, even by force if needed if I decided to fight. I needed and longed for someone that would protect me from everything in this world, including myself, someone that loved me enough. That is what my Owner/HOH has become! He is not the boy I married, he is now THE MAN I married! :)
2.) What do you most often call your HOH/Spanker? (Sir, Master, etc.)
Owner at different times, but mostly his name. However when he is disciplining me or maintenance he makes sure that I say "Yes Sir" and he repeats and makes sure I acknowledge that he is my owner.
3.) What does your HOH/Spanker most often call you? (Young Lady, Girl, etc)
My girl, and good girl. (when I'm good)
4.) We're building a big spanko bonfire, which one implement are you bringing to toss in?
Either the belt or the thick wooden spoon he has.
5.) We all know how many punishments there are to choose from; spanking, lecturing, corner time, etc.. but what about rewards? Do you have a favorite 'reward' that is used? If not, what's something you'd like used as a reward?
I don't need a "reward" because the "reward" is that I have the man I've needed my entire life, and with DD I become the woman (lady, girl) he needs that respects him and it gives our relationship a whole new meaning. That is our reward.
6.) What's that one phrase, that when it's used, you know you're in trouble?
He hasn't come up with one yet. Usually its just a given that I've crossed a line and later I am going to be in the closet, in the garage in the car, or in the basement.
He has started saying "we will talk about this later" jokingly and that is suppose to mean that I will be getting spanked or disciplined in some form. However he has never acted on that yet.
7.) What's something you'd like to cross off your spanking bucket list? Being shy is not an option here people. ;)
I don't have a spanking bucket list, however I am worried one day he will get a leather belt or bigger paddle, or if I really, really, really cross a line use a non spanking discipline that will totally humiliate me. (He has said he has no intentions of doing that but nothing is off the table)
8.) Someone comes to you, and says they just started practicing domestic discipline. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give them?
To go with it! Enjoy it! Enjoy the reward it brings. For the Man to be FIRM and consistent! For the wife to be submissive as hard as it may be. Believe me, I know! I get plenty of spankings when we do our "submission exercise" if you will.
9.) Where is the craziest place you've been spanked?
I guess in the garage bent over the car? Not crazy! He has swatted my butt in public kinda playing and kinda being serious. Kinda embarrassing! LOL
10.) We talked about a spanking bucket list, now let's get a little more into it.. what about a BDSM style bucket list? What's something you'd like to cross off of that?
We are not into BDSM.
11.) Is there a punishment you thought you'd never try, but ended up trying and finding effective?
Corner time totally nude. Or when he tells me no panties! I never thought that wearing no panties at his demand would accomplish anything, but it does. Sometimes he will tell me no panties just because and there is no reason other than that's what he wants and it keeps me thinking about him. The simple fact of just obeying and submission. At the same time he has used it as discipline before. He sent me a text and told me to take my panties off and leave them off until certain chores were done. To make sure I listened he had me take a picture of my panties that I had taken off.
12.) What is something you wish you knew before you started DD/TTWD?
How much closer it would make us. How it would make me soft, gentle, feminine, submissive and give the respect to my husband he deserves and that I would see him in such control and him being a true MAN!
13.) If you could take a break from one rule, for one week, which rule would it be?
That I can have a few glasses of wine when I want and not have to ask first.
14.) This might sound like a no brainer at first, but really think about it. If you could only have one sort of spanking in your dynamic, would you rather it be discipline or fun?
I'd choose discipline. The discipline satisfies an emotional and psychological need of mine, and in turn makes our marriage happier and gives my husband the control he should have in our marriage.
15.) If your HOH/Spanker messed up, and offered to let you spank them, would you? Why/Why not?
No way. I think it would leave me unsettled and feeling "off." Even if he messed up and I shot off at the mouth about it, I would expect him to discipline me for disrespect even though he messed up.
16.) What is your favorite form of aftercare?
The closeness it brings. I can melt into him. And of course sometimes, not all the time, we make love and that is really nice.
17.) How was DD/spanking brought up to you, or how did you bring it up to your partner?
Its something I read about many, many years ago and my HOH was not interested at that point. I don't think he realized that we needed it and I didn't either to the extent we did. But after we almost ended in divorce I brought it back to his attention and we went for it.
18.) If your spanker could use only one implement from here on out, what would they use?
Wooden paddle or belt...it's a toss up.
19.) Do you have a favorite pair of panties to wear when you know you're going to be spanked? If so, what are they?
I'm not allowed to wear clothes when I'm being disciplined. He either makes me undress or he undresses me.
20.) Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on how you look at it) mind reading hasn't yet been perfected. What's something you want your HOH/Dom/Spanker to know? (For example, don't be afraid to spank harder, or something along those lines.) Don't be afraid, spill!
I know you do this because you love me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you really how much that means to me. Always be firm with me, and don't be afraid to make me cry. I need your firmness and to know I can not walk all over you. And if I do you have no issue with beating my butt and if I fight you on it, forcibly spanking me.
*Bonus Question (just because it's fun)- Is there a picture (spanking, dd, Ds, etc related) that you just really love? If so, let's see it!*
I have a few... He has her in a position that she can't fight him on. You can also see that he has enforced full nudity with the discipline.
This one because I have been in this position and its quick to strip any attitude and it is effective! It enforces humility really fast!
Then this one is my FAVORITE! To me it reminds me how I feel about my HOH after he has disciplined me. (if disciplined the correct way because if I don't have the attitude depicted in the picture then I don't have the RIGHT attitude) Complete submission for the HOH!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Why is it?
Can someone explain to me, which I have a strong idea myself and from things Ive read, but I would like others thoughts..............Can someone explain why if the HOH of the house makes me stand in the corner naked, legs spread apart and hand on your head after and/or during the spanking for a break it has such a power effect? It is a turn on, yes.... but also very embarrassing. Why is it you feel so much more submissive tho? Its like a package deal?
Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying? Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......
Can anyone explain these to me?
I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else? Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!! Please!
~Jane
Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying? Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......
Can anyone explain these to me?
I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else? Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!! Please!
~Jane
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Hubby knew what I needed!
Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)
But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!
But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance! Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!
I asked him why? He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot. He saw that I was becoming slowly distant. And guess what? He was RIGHT! I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.
We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that! And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!! But after that something still didnt feel right. I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance. I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out. But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...) to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do.
So into our closet once again! I felt so much better after that! I need to have NOOOO control! NONE, that is his job!
I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me. He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him. (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance) He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is! I am so thankful!
I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed! It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us! It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.
I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......
What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control? (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)
So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD?
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!
Thanks yall!
~Jane DDLearning
But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!
But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance! Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!
I asked him why? He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot. He saw that I was becoming slowly distant. And guess what? He was RIGHT! I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.
We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that! And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!! But after that something still didnt feel right. I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance. I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out. But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...) to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do.
So into our closet once again! I felt so much better after that! I need to have NOOOO control! NONE, that is his job!
I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me. He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him. (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance) He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is! I am so thankful!
I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed! It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us! It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.
I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......
What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control? (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)
So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD?
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!
Thanks yall!
~Jane DDLearning
Thursday, February 21, 2013
This says it all!
OR ELSE!!!!!!!!! DD in action between a loving couple! He is her HOH and she needs to be submissive. This kind of discipline is to remind you of your place, role in your marriage, or for breakin a rule or what HOH expects! Or in my case disrespect and gettin an attitude and horrible time managment!!! Or not finishing my chores. He does this out of love, I give him that authority over me and it makes me feel protected, loved, and reminds me of who is in control and puts me back in my submissive role, even if I am being submissive, sometimes I just need it as a reminder to continue.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Here we go again! :(
Jane here!
Ok, punishment was horrible last night!
:(
I do feel like humiliation is PART OF THE PUNISHMENT as also having to bend over! :(
Last night he decided to use a plastic spoon...... Outside in the garage, pull panties and pants down to my knees and bend over this box...... 6 hard smacks! They did hurt! However I did have to admit to hubby that it was not as bad/dreaded as I thought. Well that meant going into the closet and using a different spanking tool, the NOW what I call 'dreaded hairbrush' that thing hurts! Again, I have to pull my panties and pants down and I had to bend over and he gave me 4 hard smacks with the back of the hairbrush! OH MY GAH! My butt was killin me!
You would have thought I would have learned! But as Ive said before, I am hard headed, stubborn, sassy, talk back, and quick with my tone! Even my expressions on my face........ Which is all disrespect.
Well we were in the kitchen and I wanted a tiny bit of wine, and he said NO and to not ask again, which I did! Then I started gettin mad and when I get mad I fly off at the mouth. He turned off the kitchen light and put his hands on my shoulders and said lets go to bed. AND this is where I got myself in trouble AGAIN! I said "NO"...................... he walked off and said "thats it"........ I didn't believe/ and couldn't believe after the harsh spanking I already got he was gonna do it again. I started getting worried and followed him. He did not relent! The rule is I am NOT to tell him NO b/c that is disobedience and disrespect! He told me in the closet....... and again, down my panties go............ bending over and that damn hairbrush!!!!!! I got 2 hard smacks on each check.
That hairbrush is the first thing that has made me tear up and cry some.
So now that is his choice of a spanking tool...
Well guess what? Me and my damn time management....... One things on his chore list is to take my meds (for my health) no later than 9AM......... Well I got busy with things............ and it was 1 hour later....... :( So you know what that means? 6 smacks, hard smacks as he is gettin alot firmer with me, on my bare bottom tonight. It is already so sore!!!!!! :(
I am determined to NOT get spanked tomorrow! I am determined!
I told hubby that Im gonna print out his chore list and what he expects and tape it in a "post it" style on my computer screen. (I do a lot of work on my computer)
Last nights spankings where humiliating, hurt like hell, and I felt bad for breakin the rules. I did thank my HOH and hugged him.
He feels bad after he spanks me. He says he knows he is exercising his authority and he is determined to get me under control....... Well, I have my entire life have been a strong willed, hard headed, stubborn child and woman. Even in our marriage in the past, he would tell me to do something and I would laugh at him and tell him to not tell me what to do because if he did, I was gonna do the exact opposite. Oh my gah! Now if I say that........ My ass is GRASS, or rather gonna be on fire!
I am not allowed to roll my eyes at him...... which I do and have done since a kid and thats an automatic, (6 smacks) b/c that is down right disrespect to him. And I do have a choice if I do it or not!!! This will NOT be an easy one to follow b/c it is a natural thing I do!!!! You say something I don't like, it is written all over my face with attitude and I will roll my eyes. :(
(or maybe HOH said it would be only 1 warning) I can't remember now and I need to confirm.
I feel so loved my husband! He is being firm and not letting me get away with things. He is using his authority and I thank him and have deep respect for that!!!
My goal for tomorrow is to go without a punishment spanking! Its been my goal, but after tonight Im sure I won't be able to sit if he spanks as hard as he said and the 'dreaded hairbrush' hurts like hell! Plus already being sore! :(
More later!
Ok, punishment was horrible last night!
:(
I do feel like humiliation is PART OF THE PUNISHMENT as also having to bend over! :(
Last night he decided to use a plastic spoon...... Outside in the garage, pull panties and pants down to my knees and bend over this box...... 6 hard smacks! They did hurt! However I did have to admit to hubby that it was not as bad/dreaded as I thought. Well that meant going into the closet and using a different spanking tool, the NOW what I call 'dreaded hairbrush' that thing hurts! Again, I have to pull my panties and pants down and I had to bend over and he gave me 4 hard smacks with the back of the hairbrush! OH MY GAH! My butt was killin me!
You would have thought I would have learned! But as Ive said before, I am hard headed, stubborn, sassy, talk back, and quick with my tone! Even my expressions on my face........ Which is all disrespect.
Well we were in the kitchen and I wanted a tiny bit of wine, and he said NO and to not ask again, which I did! Then I started gettin mad and when I get mad I fly off at the mouth. He turned off the kitchen light and put his hands on my shoulders and said lets go to bed. AND this is where I got myself in trouble AGAIN! I said "NO"...................... he walked off and said "thats it"........ I didn't believe/ and couldn't believe after the harsh spanking I already got he was gonna do it again. I started getting worried and followed him. He did not relent! The rule is I am NOT to tell him NO b/c that is disobedience and disrespect! He told me in the closet....... and again, down my panties go............ bending over and that damn hairbrush!!!!!! I got 2 hard smacks on each check.
That hairbrush is the first thing that has made me tear up and cry some.
So now that is his choice of a spanking tool...
Well guess what? Me and my damn time management....... One things on his chore list is to take my meds (for my health) no later than 9AM......... Well I got busy with things............ and it was 1 hour later....... :( So you know what that means? 6 smacks, hard smacks as he is gettin alot firmer with me, on my bare bottom tonight. It is already so sore!!!!!! :(
I am determined to NOT get spanked tomorrow! I am determined!
I told hubby that Im gonna print out his chore list and what he expects and tape it in a "post it" style on my computer screen. (I do a lot of work on my computer)
Last nights spankings where humiliating, hurt like hell, and I felt bad for breakin the rules. I did thank my HOH and hugged him.
He feels bad after he spanks me. He says he knows he is exercising his authority and he is determined to get me under control....... Well, I have my entire life have been a strong willed, hard headed, stubborn child and woman. Even in our marriage in the past, he would tell me to do something and I would laugh at him and tell him to not tell me what to do because if he did, I was gonna do the exact opposite. Oh my gah! Now if I say that........ My ass is GRASS, or rather gonna be on fire!
I am not allowed to roll my eyes at him...... which I do and have done since a kid and thats an automatic, (6 smacks) b/c that is down right disrespect to him. And I do have a choice if I do it or not!!! This will NOT be an easy one to follow b/c it is a natural thing I do!!!! You say something I don't like, it is written all over my face with attitude and I will roll my eyes. :(
(or maybe HOH said it would be only 1 warning) I can't remember now and I need to confirm.
I feel so loved my husband! He is being firm and not letting me get away with things. He is using his authority and I thank him and have deep respect for that!!!
My goal for tomorrow is to go without a punishment spanking! Its been my goal, but after tonight Im sure I won't be able to sit if he spanks as hard as he said and the 'dreaded hairbrush' hurts like hell! Plus already being sore! :(
More later!
He has already said that tonight it would be over his knee, and again of course the same ritual, having to pull my own panties down which is so embarrassing! This picture says it all! I am finally dreading (which I have been finding it erotic) my punishment tonight. :(
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 |
| This is what my bottom feels like right now! :( HOH decided to use the plastic spoon. Went out to the garage, drop pants and panties and bent over and got my 6 smacks and it hurt!!!!!! But I told him (my big mouth) that while it hurt bad, it wasn't AS bad as I thought. So we then went into the closet where once again I had to drop my pants and panties and bend over and got 4 hard smacks with the back of the hair brush! That crap HURT!!!!!!!!!!! My bare bottom is on fire! But he is determined to make me learn my lesson and I thank him so much for that and respect him with all my heart! |
This is what I have for my husband! Gratitude!! I love him and respect him! And I will submit to any discipline and I can see that he is getting more use to his role and less tolerant of my behavior. I love him for that! The reason I had a punishment spanking last night.
Monday night I got a punishment spanking because of my attitude!
Last night I got a punishment spanking for lying/disobience. On my HOH chore list he had for me to have something done by 10 AM, well I overslept. He texted me and told me to get up right then and I texted back that I was. Well an hour passed by and I ignored him and went back to sleep. Well, that got me in trouble!!!!
The atticipationn of the spanking was killing me b/c as I mentioned in a previous post I had been finding them erotic, but last night he had me go outside in the garage (we have a family and people in our house) pull down my shorts and panties to my kneese and bend over the car. He gave me 4 smacks with the wooden spoon, and that last smack stung bad! Can you say OUCH? During the spanking I was waitin for the next spank and it was killing me. You see, I was finding them as a turn on right UP UNTIL it is actually gonna happen! So when I was told to pull down my shorts and panties thats when I did start regretting it b/c its embarrassing, and then bending over the car with my butt in the air! GAH! :/ Each smack hurt worse than the last! Thankfully he does them pretty fast...... However, if he waits a sec or 2 in between it will probably make it worse. Which Im already dreading tonights spanking! Im not finding it very erotic b/c he has already warned me that I will learn to dread them and he will be using more strength behind each smack. PLUS, being me..... I was out at the store today and tried finding a different spoon.......... One that might not hurt as bad since I knew he was gonna be adding more smacks and spanking harder......... (and I do need him to do that, I NEED TO DREAD them!) but that wasn't very smart! After I got home I realized that the flat one is gonna hurt a lot worse! Plus I also needed a new hair brush b/c I get tons of tangles in my hair so I bought one of those special brushes...... I looked at it when I got home and thought to myself that people actually use hair brushes to spank with...... so I took that hair brush and smack the palm of my hand!!!! Oh HOLY HELL! That crap hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im not sure what he is planning on using tonight? The wooden spoon? The flat wooden spoon, or the hair brush? Since he said it was gonna be dreaded and hurt, Im betting the hair brush! :(
After my spanking last night I hugged him and thanked him for my spanking as I always do. People who do not have a DD marriage do not understand this. But in this kind of relationship, you are compelled to want to be submissive after a spanking! It resets your brain and reminds you of your wrongdoing, but also your husband took the lead and you look at him in such a different way. You totally give yourself to him, and you want him to take you! Having to go through pulling down your own panties and bending over and having your husband spank you reminds you of your role in the household, but also his!!!!!!! He is the head, the authority, and what he says goes! I actually feel a relief and feeling of contentment after my spanking b/c there is also something so personal about it.
I will never be able to thank my husband enough! He does not like spanking me and causing me pain, but we both realize that spankings/punishment/humilation/discipline is pain and when done on your bare bottom where it should be done it is not harmeful, yet very, very helpful in many ways!!!!!! My husband loves me enough to give me all of that, to use his authority over me to correct me, and for bad behavior, disrespect, not listening, dishonesty, for things that are harmful to myself or others, and he knows it also resets me and reminds me of who is really in control in our house and that is my owner, loving HOH!!!!!! ♥♥♥
The next time I blog will be after I recieve my "you have been warned its gonna be a spanking you are gonna dread". So it will either be tonight, or tomorrow before 11Am as that is one of my chores.
Tarzan will be posting soon.
~Jane DDLearning ----- soon to be "sore bottom, can't sit down" (worried and finally dreading it! :( )
Last night I got a punishment spanking for lying/disobience. On my HOH chore list he had for me to have something done by 10 AM, well I overslept. He texted me and told me to get up right then and I texted back that I was. Well an hour passed by and I ignored him and went back to sleep. Well, that got me in trouble!!!!
The atticipationn of the spanking was killing me b/c as I mentioned in a previous post I had been finding them erotic, but last night he had me go outside in the garage (we have a family and people in our house) pull down my shorts and panties to my kneese and bend over the car. He gave me 4 smacks with the wooden spoon, and that last smack stung bad! Can you say OUCH? During the spanking I was waitin for the next spank and it was killing me. You see, I was finding them as a turn on right UP UNTIL it is actually gonna happen! So when I was told to pull down my shorts and panties thats when I did start regretting it b/c its embarrassing, and then bending over the car with my butt in the air! GAH! :/ Each smack hurt worse than the last! Thankfully he does them pretty fast...... However, if he waits a sec or 2 in between it will probably make it worse. Which Im already dreading tonights spanking! Im not finding it very erotic b/c he has already warned me that I will learn to dread them and he will be using more strength behind each smack. PLUS, being me..... I was out at the store today and tried finding a different spoon.......... One that might not hurt as bad since I knew he was gonna be adding more smacks and spanking harder......... (and I do need him to do that, I NEED TO DREAD them!) but that wasn't very smart! After I got home I realized that the flat one is gonna hurt a lot worse! Plus I also needed a new hair brush b/c I get tons of tangles in my hair so I bought one of those special brushes...... I looked at it when I got home and thought to myself that people actually use hair brushes to spank with...... so I took that hair brush and smack the palm of my hand!!!! Oh HOLY HELL! That crap hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im not sure what he is planning on using tonight? The wooden spoon? The flat wooden spoon, or the hair brush? Since he said it was gonna be dreaded and hurt, Im betting the hair brush! :(
After my spanking last night I hugged him and thanked him for my spanking as I always do. People who do not have a DD marriage do not understand this. But in this kind of relationship, you are compelled to want to be submissive after a spanking! It resets your brain and reminds you of your wrongdoing, but also your husband took the lead and you look at him in such a different way. You totally give yourself to him, and you want him to take you! Having to go through pulling down your own panties and bending over and having your husband spank you reminds you of your role in the household, but also his!!!!!!! He is the head, the authority, and what he says goes! I actually feel a relief and feeling of contentment after my spanking b/c there is also something so personal about it.
I will never be able to thank my husband enough! He does not like spanking me and causing me pain, but we both realize that spankings/punishment/humilation/discipline is pain and when done on your bare bottom where it should be done it is not harmeful, yet very, very helpful in many ways!!!!!! My husband loves me enough to give me all of that, to use his authority over me to correct me, and for bad behavior, disrespect, not listening, dishonesty, for things that are harmful to myself or others, and he knows it also resets me and reminds me of who is really in control in our house and that is my owner, loving HOH!!!!!! ♥♥♥
The next time I blog will be after I recieve my "you have been warned its gonna be a spanking you are gonna dread". So it will either be tonight, or tomorrow before 11Am as that is one of my chores.
Tarzan will be posting soon.
~Jane DDLearning ----- soon to be "sore bottom, can't sit down" (worried and finally dreading it! :( )
So, not happy! :(
So I already didn't make some of the time frames on my "chore list" and that was after one warning. So tonight Im getting punishment spanking. :( And while the anticipation was erotic for me the last couple of days, not I am starting to dread it because he said he is gonna make it harder (and last nights 4 smacks really did sting) so I learn to dread it everytime in hopes that it leaves a lasting impression on me. /sigh
I don't have to blog about yesterdays discipline until this afternoon. While he is being very strict, he is also understanding and fair. I have to be somewhere in a bit so I can journal this afternoon.
However, I am suppose to be gettin ready right now...... So I will be back!
I don't have to blog about yesterdays discipline until this afternoon. While he is being very strict, he is also understanding and fair. I have to be somewhere in a bit so I can journal this afternoon.
However, I am suppose to be gettin ready right now...... So I will be back!
So how is our DDLearning applied in our lives.
First I had to make up in my mind that I would 100% submit to anything he said, including discipline as he saw fit. That puts him in control, and it takes control away from me, which is a good thing for a submissive wife.
We rules now and diciplines already set out for the rules.
*If a certain rule is broken it is called an 'automatic' and that means I get 6 smacks with the wooden spoon. I have to pull my own panties and they have to be at my knees or lower (this is not fun! It is embarrassing!) and I have to bend over either over his knee, or whatever I can bend over so he can have a clear view so he sees where he is smacking me and to ensure he is getting my bottom, and if there is nothing to bend over, then it is simply bending over on my own)
(I will say this.... I have been up to this point finding the anticipation of the Punishment Spankings erotic, as a turn on. So I told my husband about this b/c that is NOT the purpose of them. They are a form of discipline and need to be dreaded. So he has ensurred me that they will be harder now and I will dread them and he is not cutting me any slack anymore at all! Which I deeply respect!!! However, no matter how much they are dreaded, and hurt, (yesterdays hurt a good amount, but he is gonna spank harder as of my next punishment spanking to correct this) after the spanking I am totally turned on because this man just forced his authority! I didn't do right, and show him the respect he deserved and so he took me in his hands and made me. He held me accountable and I love that and respect that for him. Because of the spankings I want to do everything I can do to make him happy!!!! More than every before!!!! I want him happy!)
What are the rules that are an 'automatic' punishment spanking:
*HOH sends me a chore list with time frames for things to be done, this is helping me with time management and what he expects from me. He expects me to be honest in telling him if I don't make the 'time frame' he put in my list. --- With the chore list its all or nothing! Meaning if I miss one time frame or one thing doesn't get done, its an automatic and each additional thing on that list if not done or not done by the time frame is 1 additional smack.
*On the weekends HOH will give me verbal or written list - same applies as above.
*He has the right as HOH to make a new rule on the spur of the moment if he feels its needed and discipline w/o warning if he sees the situation warrents it.
*Dishonest and Disobedience - 'automatic'
*Trying to find excuses to get out of things is an 'automatic' -- tho at times this is based on HOH discretion.
*Fighting over the discipline - automatic
*I am not allowed to tell him he can not spank me or I am backing out of DD because I have to let my yes mean yes, and if a punishment is needed and I don't like it and I tell him that, it is an automatic plus additional smacks as HOH sees fit due to my attittude.
So we have our automatics that I described above.
Then we have a warning system on disrespect. I get 3 warnings and if I reach 3 warnings, I get 6 smacks with the wooden spoon, me pulling my panties down and bending over just like an automatic.
Whats really bad is if I have an automatic and I get 3 warnings in one day, then that will mean 12 smacks...... Or if I get 2 automatics and 3 warnings that will mean 18 smacks! And if I didn't finish all my chores or meet time frames, each of those are additional smack! OUCH!
*I have to be up and out of bed when HOH leaves for work. If Im not, then this counts as 1 warning.
*Journaling/blogging - This is to help reinforce the discipline.
Every day (except Saturday and Sunday) I have to blog what happend the day before. Was it a good day or a bad day? How so? Did I get a spanking? If so, what for? How did I feel before the punishment? How was I punished? How did I feel afterwards? What can I do to try and make it not happen again. I am to blog all my wrongdoing so my husband is able to read them. If I skip a day he can see it and results in an automatic. On Monday mornings I have to update for the weekend. All of this has to be done by 11AM every day or its an automatic.
Tarzan (HOH) has promised he will always be fair, clear in instructions, firm, spankings will learn to be dreaded because they need to leave a lasting impression and make me start dreading them more as that is what the purpose of the spankings, to correct wrong behavior. He will discipline in a loving way and hole me afterwards. He is determinded to not let me get away anymore with disrespect, sassing back and attitude and if he ses fit give an attitude adjustment. He will hold me accountable for my actions. If Im disrespectful in the slightest it goes as 1 warning. It is up to HOH to decide how, when and where discipline is handled. HOH may decide that a spanking/discipline needs to be handled right then.
HOH is inforcing his authority, and I submit to them all! That is my role as his wife, and that is his role as my husband. He is very loving and wants whats best for me and our household, and that means keeping me in line. I am very hard to handle! I am short fused, and have attitude a mile long and will talk back in a split second! Ive never been accountable. However now that has changed, and I love and respect my husband more than I ever have!
Ok...... I have to do a few things..... but then I got to get back on here to blog about yesterdays discipline before 11.
~Jane DDLearning
First I had to make up in my mind that I would 100% submit to anything he said, including discipline as he saw fit. That puts him in control, and it takes control away from me, which is a good thing for a submissive wife.
We rules now and diciplines already set out for the rules.
*If a certain rule is broken it is called an 'automatic' and that means I get 6 smacks with the wooden spoon. I have to pull my own panties and they have to be at my knees or lower (this is not fun! It is embarrassing!) and I have to bend over either over his knee, or whatever I can bend over so he can have a clear view so he sees where he is smacking me and to ensure he is getting my bottom, and if there is nothing to bend over, then it is simply bending over on my own)
(I will say this.... I have been up to this point finding the anticipation of the Punishment Spankings erotic, as a turn on. So I told my husband about this b/c that is NOT the purpose of them. They are a form of discipline and need to be dreaded. So he has ensurred me that they will be harder now and I will dread them and he is not cutting me any slack anymore at all! Which I deeply respect!!! However, no matter how much they are dreaded, and hurt, (yesterdays hurt a good amount, but he is gonna spank harder as of my next punishment spanking to correct this) after the spanking I am totally turned on because this man just forced his authority! I didn't do right, and show him the respect he deserved and so he took me in his hands and made me. He held me accountable and I love that and respect that for him. Because of the spankings I want to do everything I can do to make him happy!!!! More than every before!!!! I want him happy!)
What are the rules that are an 'automatic' punishment spanking:
*HOH sends me a chore list with time frames for things to be done, this is helping me with time management and what he expects from me. He expects me to be honest in telling him if I don't make the 'time frame' he put in my list. --- With the chore list its all or nothing! Meaning if I miss one time frame or one thing doesn't get done, its an automatic and each additional thing on that list if not done or not done by the time frame is 1 additional smack.
*On the weekends HOH will give me verbal or written list - same applies as above.
*He has the right as HOH to make a new rule on the spur of the moment if he feels its needed and discipline w/o warning if he sees the situation warrents it.
*Dishonest and Disobedience - 'automatic'
*Trying to find excuses to get out of things is an 'automatic' -- tho at times this is based on HOH discretion.
*Fighting over the discipline - automatic
*I am not allowed to tell him he can not spank me or I am backing out of DD because I have to let my yes mean yes, and if a punishment is needed and I don't like it and I tell him that, it is an automatic plus additional smacks as HOH sees fit due to my attittude.
So we have our automatics that I described above.
Then we have a warning system on disrespect. I get 3 warnings and if I reach 3 warnings, I get 6 smacks with the wooden spoon, me pulling my panties down and bending over just like an automatic.
Whats really bad is if I have an automatic and I get 3 warnings in one day, then that will mean 12 smacks...... Or if I get 2 automatics and 3 warnings that will mean 18 smacks! And if I didn't finish all my chores or meet time frames, each of those are additional smack! OUCH!
*I have to be up and out of bed when HOH leaves for work. If Im not, then this counts as 1 warning.
*Journaling/blogging - This is to help reinforce the discipline.
Every day (except Saturday and Sunday) I have to blog what happend the day before. Was it a good day or a bad day? How so? Did I get a spanking? If so, what for? How did I feel before the punishment? How was I punished? How did I feel afterwards? What can I do to try and make it not happen again. I am to blog all my wrongdoing so my husband is able to read them. If I skip a day he can see it and results in an automatic. On Monday mornings I have to update for the weekend. All of this has to be done by 11AM every day or its an automatic.
Tarzan (HOH) has promised he will always be fair, clear in instructions, firm, spankings will learn to be dreaded because they need to leave a lasting impression and make me start dreading them more as that is what the purpose of the spankings, to correct wrong behavior. He will discipline in a loving way and hole me afterwards. He is determinded to not let me get away anymore with disrespect, sassing back and attitude and if he ses fit give an attitude adjustment. He will hold me accountable for my actions. If Im disrespectful in the slightest it goes as 1 warning. It is up to HOH to decide how, when and where discipline is handled. HOH may decide that a spanking/discipline needs to be handled right then.
HOH is inforcing his authority, and I submit to them all! That is my role as his wife, and that is his role as my husband. He is very loving and wants whats best for me and our household, and that means keeping me in line. I am very hard to handle! I am short fused, and have attitude a mile long and will talk back in a split second! Ive never been accountable. However now that has changed, and I love and respect my husband more than I ever have!
Ok...... I have to do a few things..... but then I got to get back on here to blog about yesterdays discipline before 11.
~Jane DDLearning
DDLearning
Let me introduce myself!
Jane is not my real name, however it is the name I will go by on this site. My husband will be blogging here and he is going to go by Tarzan.
I have always needed a firm hand in my life, and I have NEVER had it! NEVER!
A few months ago things in our marriage got really bad and we almost ended up in a divorce. I had no respect for my husband, and the love I had for him was gone.
We stayed together, and things started changing. I told my husband about some of things I felt during that time and he started making some changes himself seeing that I needed certain things from him.
Well about 5 days ago I showed him a site called takinginhand and he liked some of the ideas. A few years back I came across that site and things regarding DD and he didn't like the idea.
After I showed him the site a few days back he understood that it was what I needed and for us to both to assume or roles, me as a submissive wife, and him as the HOH.
The day after we read all this stuff together we put it into effect. The last 4 days I have gotten punishment spankings! :( I will tell you this that I have never felt so close to my husband!!!!! The love I feel for him is amazing!!!!!!!!!! I have so much respect for him!!!!!!! I have never had this much respect for him!
I am a sassy, brat! I always have been! I have never been accountable for my actions! NEVER! And now I have my husband, my owner who loves me, is fair and loving to me, and holds me accountable. Because of this we are both happier than we ever have been in such a short period of time!!!! I am happy b/c of him taking over, and he is happy b/c I have so much respect for him and very submissive.
Punishment spankings for us has been a life saver! He does not like doing it, but he loves the results that it brings. It hold me accountable, it makes me respect him more because he has rules now and if they are not followed through the he WILL use his authority. In turn after the punishment spanking, I thank him because I truly mean it, and it does something to me! It resets me!!!! I am totally melted into him! I WANT to be and am very submissive right after my spanking!
The spanking is done as a mean of correction, to modify my bad behavior or for my disrespect. He as our HOH deserves respect and he knows it now and will enforce it.
I am about to do another post on his rules and how we are handling this. Again, it has saved our marriage.
~Jane DDLearning
Jane is not my real name, however it is the name I will go by on this site. My husband will be blogging here and he is going to go by Tarzan.
I have always needed a firm hand in my life, and I have NEVER had it! NEVER!
A few months ago things in our marriage got really bad and we almost ended up in a divorce. I had no respect for my husband, and the love I had for him was gone.
We stayed together, and things started changing. I told my husband about some of things I felt during that time and he started making some changes himself seeing that I needed certain things from him.
Well about 5 days ago I showed him a site called takinginhand and he liked some of the ideas. A few years back I came across that site and things regarding DD and he didn't like the idea.
After I showed him the site a few days back he understood that it was what I needed and for us to both to assume or roles, me as a submissive wife, and him as the HOH.
The day after we read all this stuff together we put it into effect. The last 4 days I have gotten punishment spankings! :( I will tell you this that I have never felt so close to my husband!!!!! The love I feel for him is amazing!!!!!!!!!! I have so much respect for him!!!!!!! I have never had this much respect for him!
I am a sassy, brat! I always have been! I have never been accountable for my actions! NEVER! And now I have my husband, my owner who loves me, is fair and loving to me, and holds me accountable. Because of this we are both happier than we ever have been in such a short period of time!!!! I am happy b/c of him taking over, and he is happy b/c I have so much respect for him and very submissive.
Punishment spankings for us has been a life saver! He does not like doing it, but he loves the results that it brings. It hold me accountable, it makes me respect him more because he has rules now and if they are not followed through the he WILL use his authority. In turn after the punishment spanking, I thank him because I truly mean it, and it does something to me! It resets me!!!! I am totally melted into him! I WANT to be and am very submissive right after my spanking!
The spanking is done as a mean of correction, to modify my bad behavior or for my disrespect. He as our HOH deserves respect and he knows it now and will enforce it.
I am about to do another post on his rules and how we are handling this. Again, it has saved our marriage.
~Jane DDLearning
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