What a way to start off the year!

What a way to start the year off! Recently I've gone through a bad event in my life, well I've been short with HOH, and I also started my period which makes me snappy.

Last night he said something in I thought was a mean manner, and I sent him a few text messages that I should not have sent. At the time I knew, but didn't really care because I was pissed off at him. This morning I apologized and he took my apology. I told him that if he considered my text as disprect I would understand.

Well I got an answer back saying that it was disprectful and he also addressed some other things he didn't like that I have been doing. He said when my period is over there will be some consequences.

I know I am in for a hard spanking because his spanking since we recommited to this lifestyle, (as with many, at times you get thrown off with things in life and that's what happened to us and it did cause a lack of connection) have been harder than they were this entire past year. I told him that and he said that since we are in this lifestyle together he is going to make sure he spanks me right. Even his maintence spankings have got a lot harder. So I know next Tuesday I am in for it, BAD.

Now, I just need to make sure that I don't break any rules and I am 100% respectful and nothing else is added onto that. When he spanks me he will stop for a moment and say that was for X,Y, and Z, now this next one is for X, Y, and Z. So they add up!

Any advice to help me through what I think is going to be my worse spanking yet?

I don't know why he is spanking me so much harder now. He said it was because he wanted to spank me right, I guess to make sure I get it through my head and if he is going to do it that he is going to do it right. (he also said that)

Even yesterday I was smarting off a little bit to him while we were in the bathroom and he said "you just don't learn" and grabbed the spoon and swatted my butt a few good hard times.

I guess now for the first time he is really more than ever stepping up to this lifestyle. While he did before, this time it seems to be different. Even just having that small set back for a month or two, for the whole year before that he wasn't as strict as he is being now.

But I must say I am thankful for his new attitude! I told him this is what I wanted and needed from him, and I guess he can see it. I need a man who is not afraid of me and my strong personality. Someone I can't walk all over, someone that won't take crap from me and will hold me accountable, someone who loves me enough to take me in hand and discipline me for breaking rules or to keep us connected. Someone who is willing to take the lead in his household, and make sure I don't try to overstep him and keep me submissive.

Some of us as women with the world we live in seem to think we are equal to men, and we are not. God made it so that men would take care of us and put them in charge of the household, and women to be a compliment to the husband. When a wife steps out of line, or needs an attitude adjustment, I think any husband should be able to take his wife, because they love each other, and set her straight for the peace of the household, his household however he sees fit. A punishment, (discipline) that fits the "crime". My HOH never talks down to me, we do talk about decisions that are made, but in the end it is his final say in what will happen, as it should be. You can not have two people running a household, it just won't work. There will be a power struggle, and how would that work with having peace in the household? It won't.

Have a happy Friday!

~Jane