Monday, February 10, 2014

Lets talk........................

Lets talk maintenance.

What are your thoughts on it?  What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?

Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind.   I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons.  HOH does it when he feels the need.  I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel. 

I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time.   Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh?   Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also.  Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me!   Crazy, huh? 

BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that.    We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.  

I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation.   If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline.   I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.

I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us.  However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently!   "Women stand up to your husband"  -  "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want"  those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.

I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time.   Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it.   However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline.   So I dunno!  

Thoughts?   What do you do in your marriage?   I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.

HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do. 

Also, as I have mentioned in a few emails to other DDers.   What do you do if your HOH is not strict enough?   I'm not saying my HOH is not strict enough by any means!  LOL   (HOH if you are reading this which I know you do sometimes - YOU are strict!  LOL  I ♥ You)   I'm curious to see how you ladies handle that?  HOH makes the rules, but does he enforce them without any slack?  Do you wish he was stricter?  Or was firmer?
What other things does your HOH do for discipline? Or Role Affirmation to keep you in a submissive state? 
We have done:
Spanking of course
Corner time
Corner time always has submission exercises
Writing lines
No panties for the day
A few times disciplining  me in a different position that exposes more than I would like
Ok!   Hugs to all my DDers!  
If you do not agree with any of the above, that is more than fine.   Please refrain from posting ridiculous comments here.  If you don't agree you may simply put that but you don't need to go into the personal attacks because that is just not called for.    Thanks!


  1. I agree with you Jane, maintenance is very handy for keeping things in perspective.
    It is all so easy to start letting things slide, having a regular schedule for maintenance not only helps the wife stay in a submissive mind frame but it also helps HoH maintain his dominant role in the home.

  2. wellll now i get the "other question" lol can ya tell I'm impatient. should have waited for it :-) I think it would a great tool when i need extra assistance finding my submission. I can see how it would also help keep my HoH in his dominant role.

    I've also heard it's good for keeping the tooshie warmed up...benefit for the tih who's needing discipline :-\

    I do wish my husband, were more strict with a couple things I want help with but we're just not there. baby steps at a snail's pace. how do i handle it? not very well at times I'm afraid. when I'm feeling frustrated I try to focus on how positively he reacts when I am submissive even if he's not paying attention and letting me know I'm slipping.

  3. My husband is away from work a lot so I'm concerned that DD won't have the benefits we are looking for. Does anyone else's HOH work away from Home for long periods of time? How do you deal with it? Thanks

  4. My wife and I never practiced maintenance spanking. I fact, we never even heard of it until we'd been married for several decades.

    On the other hand, I did spank her more when we first married. Sometimes, much like her mother, I thought there were times when she "needed it."

    At the same time, I think there were times when husbands of my father's and grandfather's generations tested their authority over their wives. I suspect much of it was impromptu and informal.

    I recall one evening in particular, after the older woman seduced me as a teenager and I were sitting on the couch beside the front door in her living room. We were just fooling around when I told her to get over my knee. Without asking why, she obeyed.

    I lifted the hem of her A-frame dress, peeled down her granny pants underwear, and gave her upturned bottom a good spanking with my hand. When I finished, she pulled her panties back up, let her dress fall back onto place, and said down beside me as if nothing had happened.

    Given what little I know about maintenance spankings, with a more formal ritual, that one would probably qualify. Only, I would describe it more as obedience test.