I'm here but don't know what to say........

I'm here and I don't know what to say.

This lifestyle works for us!  Every time we implement it, it works! 

Then somehow we get off track.

When we do I start feeling unbalanced.   I find myself not paying attention to the rules that were ONCE there, and letting my mind wonder and not respecting my HOH as much.  

I don't like this.

I have brought it back up to my HOH but I hate being the one to bring it up.   :(

Does anyone feel the need to have TiH, DD, CDD, LDD lifestyle to feel like you BELONG to your HOH? 

Maybe it's because of some past, recent issues I have been dealing with but I need that foundation, structure, feeling secure and like I belong to someone and they are going to protect me.

I have done so much research on this lifestyle and even though we KNOW it works for us, why can't we stick to it? 

We do good for months and then slip.

I was just about to write an ebook on it to help other couples starting out on this lifestyle, and that is still what I want to do.

With the above questions, how do you feel about the feeling of belonging to him?

~Jane   (Sorry I have been MIA)

Lets talk........................

Lets talk maintenance.

What are your thoughts on it?  What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?

Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind.   I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons.  HOH does it when he feels the need.  I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel. 

I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time.   Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh?   Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also.  Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me!   Crazy, huh? 

BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that.    We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.  

I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation.   If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline.   I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.

I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us.  However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently!   "Women stand up to your husband"  -  "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want"  those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.

I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time.   Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it.   However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline.   So I dunno!  

Thoughts?   What do you do in your marriage?   I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.

HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do. 

 

 

Also, as I have mentioned in a few emails to other DDers.   What do you do if your HOH is not strict enough?   I'm not saying my HOH is not strict enough by any means!  LOL   (HOH if you are reading this which I know you do sometimes - YOU are strict!  LOL  I ♥ You)   I'm curious to see how you ladies handle that?  HOH makes the rules, but does he enforce them without any slack?  Do you wish he was stricter?  Or was firmer?

 

 

 

What other things does your HOH do for discipline? Or Role Affirmation to keep you in a submissive state? 

 

 

We have done:

 

Spanking of course

Corner time

Corner time always has submission exercises

Writing lines

No panties for the day

A few times disciplining  me in a different position that exposes more than I would like

 

Ok!   Hugs to all my DDers!  

 

Jane

 

PS

If you do not agree with any of the above, that is more than fine.   Please refrain from posting ridiculous comments here.  If you don't agree you may simply put that but you don't need to go into the personal attacks because that is just not called for.    Thanks!

 





Did you have a good weekend?

First thing first!  I want to thank the few of you that have sent me some very kind helpful emails!   :)   I will be responding soon!

I hope your family has had a fabulous weekend.   We did!

Sadly tomorrow is Monday and HOH has to go back to work. :(

Question, do any of your write poetry?  I am working on one about DD life.  I will post it when it's done.   I am going to be including it in the ebook!

We have company coming over in a bit and hubby has already threatened to take me back to our bedroom and spank me if I get to a point that he doesn't like.  Yikes!!    Well, that ain't going to happen!  Ha!  I'm not getting in trouble and take the chance of them hearing!

Well, another beautiful weekend!  

((Hugs))

Jane

I am dreading tonight. :(

I am so dreading tonight!

As I posted below I have 5 or 7 minutes, I can't remember of a spanking and corner time.   :(

It amazes me how far we have come with this lifestyle and it just being the normal. 

It went from a few swats with a small, thin wooden spoon, to minutes and minutes of me on all 4 getting my rear wore out with a thick wooden spoon or whip thingy, or his belt.   He has gone from barely tapping my rear with that small spoon in the beginning to the point of seeing my butt glow because he knows why he is doing it, and lets just say he doesn't swat anymore.  He wears my butt out!  The rear is a place meant for spankings and he doesn't hold back that much.   

Plus the dreaded corner time I posted about below.  :(

Tonight is going to be horrible!   :(    But I will submit and I know I have it coming.   I also know he loves me and he is doing it out of love and after we will snuggle and watch TV together with the HOH who protects me, loves me, and will not let me run all over him.   My man who takes charge and is not afraid to put me in my place. 

I love him so much!   (But dreading tonight's discipline!)

I will post back tomorrow!

~  Jane

Help? Suggestions? Addiction?

So finally all my discipline spanking and corner time is over!!   Phew!!

That's was a rough discipline!

I made something for hubby so that shouldn't happen again.   I will post a picture of it later, but it's quiet and hurts!  :(    But I really don't like discipline dragging out.

Question - do any of you/or have any of you had a drinking addiction?  If so, is there a way DD can help?   I do have an addiction to alcohol and trying to control it.  Any suggestions where DD can help? HOH told me to do some research on it.  It is an addiction and I want to break it.

Can DD help? More spankings? Different discipline? Things that are humiliating to enforce that I need to break this addiction?  I dunno!  We are open to suggestions.

Jane

                                                      Should this be our answer??

Long blog, sorry.

So I posted a few days ago about what was coming up today, "the big spanking" for disrespect. He wanted to wait on Tuesday (today) because of my period.  Well I talked to HOH a few days ago and asked him if he would please break it up over a few days, and he said he would think about it.   He finally told me that he would break it up for me. That disrespect the other day earned me 21 minutes, and not an easy 21 minutes. (that's not including anything I might get in trouble for)  He told me I wouldn't be able to sit for a week.   (That was when he was going to do it all on Tuesday.)

Plus, this spanking has been coming for a few days from when I acted disrespectful, and I feel bad for the disrespect.  It has just been lingering over my head, I felt/feel bad, and I needed to submit.  I needed some sort of discipline to start easing the guilt for my actions, to show him that I respect him and his power over me.  So I sent him some text messages explaining that.  I told him I would submit to any discipline action, no matter how humiliating and to please not wait until Tuesday. 

So last night I was working out and wasn't home, and that part was fine.  However we also had unexpected/expected (at the last minute) company last night.  So I come home, still sweaty and my back end cold and instantly he takes me into the other room and knew it was for some sort of discipline.  I kept telling him I needed a shower first and he said he knew that.  That didn't stop him, because of my text messages  and also due to the circumstances of having company, he was going to go through with giving me some sort of discipline. Which I am grateful to him for.   He told me to pull down my pants and panties ( because of limited time he didn't make me fully undress) and bend over.  (which I did, there was something in front of me to grab)  He took that wooden spoon and for 2 minutes gave me a good, hard, solid, deserved spanking. I think about 30 seconds into it I was crying because it hurt.  I kept reminding myself that it was deserved and it was for my disrespect and he didn't deserve that from me and that this is some of my discipline for it.  

So that took 2 minutes off of my 21 so far for the week.  So if I can manage to keep my mouth shut and follow the rules I have 19 minutes left for the disrespect.  

I have to say that I truly, with all my heart, love our DD, TiH, TTWD lifestyle/relationship.

It changes who each of us are in our relationship.  He is more dominant now than ever, (even before we fell off the wagon for a few months and restarted a few weeks ago) and I am more submissive and each day we are growing more and more into our roles.    We know our roles, we know who we are in our marriage.   It makes for a peaceful household, but also makes up so much more closer.

Yes, should I be submissive anyway?  Do I need the threaten of a spanking or whatever humiliating discipline he comes up with to "fit the infraction?"  Do I need this lifestyle to respect him?   The answer to these questions are yes, and no.

Yes I want to be submissive, but no its not easy.  Today we live in a world that women have to act equal and we simply are not.   That doesn't mean we are "lower" or a doormat, it means that the HOH  makes the rules and we abide by them.   

Do I need a threaten of a spanking?  Yes.  Because again we live in a world that forces it down your  throat to not answer to anyone.  So yes I need the threat of a spanking or some sort of discipline to keeps me in check reminding me that I do have someone to answer to, and that is my HOH.   I know my husband loves me enough to make sure that happens. 

I respect my HOH with or without this lifestyle.   However, my respect for my HOH grew by leaps and bounds when we started this lifestyle a year ago.  Then when we fell off the wagon for a couple of months, it was still there but not as strong, but still there nonetheless.   Now that we are back full force with our lifestyle, and that respect for him as a man, my owner, the HOH is deeper and stronger than it has EVER been.  

I love him more and more, and feel closer to him than ever.  I am his, and he takes care of me.  He loves me for everything that I am, and I love him!   I am not easy to handle, I am strong willed, sarcastic, and sassy, so his job is not easy, but he does it. 

So tonight it's 5-7 minutes of spanking for just that, and I hope I don't get into any other trouble or it will be longer, and this time we don't have any company so I know it will be worse.  I know it will be the entire spanking process, undressing and getting into position. 

While I am dreading it big time, (so dreading it)  I am also thankful for it because I want this discipline to go away along with that episode of horrible disrespect.  Once the final 21 minutes is over this week then I can stop feeling guilty about acting horrible to my HOH........until next time I run off at the mouth. 

I am the sort of person that runs off at the mouth first before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble, along with time management.    With that being said, I need to close out this blog before I get into more trouble. 

~Jane

What a way to start off the year!

What a way to start the year off! Recently I've gone through a bad event in my life, well I've been short with HOH, and I also started my period which makes me snappy.

Last night he said something in I thought was a mean manner, and I sent him a few text messages that I should not have sent. At the time I knew, but didn't really care because I was pissed off at him. This morning I apologized and he took my apology. I told him that if he considered my text as disprect I would understand.

Well I got an answer back saying that it was disprectful and he also addressed some other things he didn't like that I have been doing. He said when my period is over there will be some consequences.

I know I am in for a hard spanking because his spanking since we recommited to this lifestyle, (as with many, at times you get thrown off with things in life and that's what happened to us and it did cause a lack of connection) have been harder than they were this entire past year. I told him that and he said that since we are in this lifestyle together he is going to make sure he spanks me right. Even his maintence spankings have got a lot harder. So I know next Tuesday I am in for it, BAD.

Now, I just need to make sure that I don't break any rules and I am 100% respectful and nothing else is added onto that. When he spanks me he will stop for a moment and say that was for X,Y, and Z, now this next one is for X, Y, and Z. So they add up!

Any advice to help me through what I think is going to be my worse spanking yet?

I don't know why he is spanking me so much harder now. He said it was because he wanted to spank me right, I guess to make sure I get it through my head and if he is going to do it that he is going to do it right. (he also said that)

Even yesterday I was smarting off a little bit to him while we were in the bathroom and he said "you just don't learn" and grabbed the spoon and swatted my butt a few good hard times.

I guess now for the first time he is really more than ever stepping up to this lifestyle. While he did before, this time it seems to be different. Even just having that small set back for a month or two, for the whole year before that he wasn't as strict as he is being now.

But I must say I am thankful for his new attitude! I told him this is what I wanted and needed from him, and I guess he can see it. I need a man who is not afraid of me and my strong personality. Someone I can't walk all over, someone that won't take crap from me and will hold me accountable, someone who loves me enough to take me in hand and discipline me for breaking rules or to keep us connected. Someone who is willing to take the lead in his household, and make sure I don't try to overstep him and keep me submissive.

Some of us as women with the world we live in seem to think we are equal to men, and we are not. God made it so that men would take care of us and put them in charge of the household, and women to be a compliment to the husband. When a wife steps out of line, or needs an attitude adjustment, I think any husband should be able to take his wife, because they love each other, and set her straight for the peace of the household, his household however he sees fit. A punishment, (discipline) that fits the "crime". My HOH never talks down to me, we do talk about decisions that are made, but in the end it is his final say in what will happen, as it should be. You can not have two people running a household, it just won't work. There will be a power struggle, and how would that work with having peace in the household? It won't.

Have a happy Friday!

~Jane

Spanking survey! Interesting!

 

 

1.) Was there a certain event from your life, that sparked the spanking interest? If so, feel free to share:

We hit a bad spot in our marriage that almost left us in a divorce and me and him almost cheating on each other. You see I've always been bossy, and need to have things my way.  I never mean to be selfish, but I stay in control and want to do things a certain way.   However at same time I want to be told what to do, dominated, and have someone take care of me.  At the time my husband didn't do that.  I felt like I could walk all over him, and I did.  I wanted to know there is someone that is bigger, stronger, in control, and can handle my stubborn attitude.  I wanted to know there is someone that will say "No, you can't do that" or "Don't talk to me like that" and wasn't afraid to back it up with a spanking if I didn't listen, even by force if needed if I decided to fight.   I needed and longed for someone that would protect me from everything in this world, including myself, someone that loved me enough.    That is what my Owner/HOH has become! He is not the boy I married, he is now THE MAN I married!  :)
 
2.) What do you most often call your HOH/Spanker? (Sir, Master, etc.)

 Owner at different times, but mostly his name.  However when he is disciplining me or maintenance he makes sure that I say "Yes Sir" and he repeats and makes sure I acknowledge that he is my owner.

3.) What does your HOH/Spanker most often call you? (Young Lady, Girl, etc)

My girl, and good girl. (when I'm good)

 4.) We're building a big spanko bonfire, which one implement are you bringing to toss in?

Either the belt or the thick wooden spoon he has. 

 5.) We all know how many punishments there are to choose from; spanking, lecturing, corner time, etc.. but what about rewards? Do you have a favorite 'reward' that is used? If not, what's something you'd like used as a reward?

I don't need a "reward" because the "reward" is that I have the man I've needed my entire life, and with DD I become the woman (lady, girl) he needs that respects him and it gives our relationship a whole new meaning.  That is our reward.

 6.) What's that one phrase, that when it's used, you know you're in trouble?

He hasn't come up with one yet.  Usually its just a given that I've crossed a line and later I am going to be in the closet, in the garage in the car, or in the basement.

He has started saying "we will talk about this later" jokingly and that is suppose to mean that I will be getting spanked or disciplined in some form.  However he has never acted on that yet.

 7.) What's something you'd like to cross off your spanking bucket list? Being shy is not an option here people. ;)
I don't have a spanking bucket list, however I am worried one day he will get a leather belt or bigger paddle, or if I really, really, really cross a line use a non spanking discipline that will totally humiliate me.   (He has said he has no intentions of doing that but nothing is off the table)

 8.) Someone comes to you, and says they just started practicing domestic discipline. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give them?

To go with it!  Enjoy it!  Enjoy the reward it brings.  For the Man to be FIRM and consistent!  For the wife to be submissive as hard as it may be.  Believe me, I know!  I get plenty of spankings when we do our "submission exercise" if you will.  

9.) Where is the craziest place you've been spanked?

I guess in the garage bent over the car?  Not crazy! He has swatted my butt in public kinda playing and kinda being serious.  Kinda embarrassing!  LOL

10.) We talked about a spanking bucket list, now let's get a little more into it.. what about a BDSM style bucket list? What's something you'd like to cross off of that?
We are not into BDSM.

 11.) Is there a punishment you thought you'd never try, but ended up trying and finding effective?

Corner time totally nude.  Or when he tells me no panties!  I never thought that wearing no panties at his demand would accomplish anything, but it does.  Sometimes he will tell me no panties just because and there is no reason other than that's what he wants and it keeps me thinking about him. The simple fact of just obeying and submission.  At the same time he has used it as discipline before.  He sent me a text and told me to take my panties off and leave them off until certain chores were done.  To make sure I listened he had me take a picture of my panties that I had taken off. 

 12.) What is something you wish you knew before you started DD/TTWD?

How much closer it would make us.  How it would make me soft, gentle, feminine, submissive and give the respect to my husband he deserves and that I would see him in such control and him being a true MAN!

13.) If you could take a break from one rule, for one week, which rule would it be?

 That I can have a few glasses of wine when I want and not have to ask first.

14.) This might sound like a no brainer at first, but really think about it. If you could only have one sort of spanking in your dynamic, would you rather it be discipline or fun?

I'd choose discipline.  The discipline satisfies an emotional and psychological need of mine, and in turn makes our marriage happier and gives my husband the control he should have in our marriage.

15.) If your HOH/Spanker messed up, and offered to let you spank them, would you? Why/Why not?

No way. I think it would leave me unsettled and feeling "off."  Even if he messed up and I shot off at the mouth about it, I would expect him to discipline me for disrespect even though he messed up.

16.) What is your favorite form of aftercare?

 

The closeness it brings.  I can melt into him.  And of course sometimes, not all the time, we make love and that is really nice.

 17.) How was DD/spanking brought up to you, or how did you bring it up to your partner?

Its something I read about many, many years ago and my HOH was not interested at that point.  I don't think he realized that we needed it and I didn't either to the extent we did.  But after we almost ended in divorce I brought it back to his attention and we went for it. 

18.) If your spanker could use only one implement from here on out, what would they use?

Wooden paddle or belt...it's a toss up.

19.) Do you have a favorite pair of panties to wear when you know you're going to be spanked? If so, what are they?

I'm not allowed to wear clothes when I'm being disciplined.  He either makes me undress or he undresses me.

 20.) Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on how you look at it) mind reading hasn't yet been perfected. What's something you want your HOH/Dom/Spanker to know? (For example, don't be afraid to spank harder, or something along those lines.) Don't be afraid, spill!

I know you do this because you love me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you really how much that means to me. Always be firm with me, and don't be afraid to make me cry.  I need your firmness and to know I can not walk all over you.  And if I do you have no issue with beating my butt and if I fight you on it, forcibly spanking me.



*Bonus Question (just because it's fun)- Is there a picture (spanking, dd, Ds, etc related) that you just really love? If so, let's see it!*

I have a few... He has her in a position that she can't fight him on.  You can also see that he has enforced full nudity with the discipline.



 

 

This one because I have been in this position and its quick to strip any attitude and it is effective! It enforces humility really fast!

 

Then this one is my FAVORITE! To me it reminds me how I feel about my HOH after he has disciplined me. (if disciplined the correct way because if I don't have the attitude depicted in the picture then I don't have the RIGHT attitude)  Complete submission for the HOH!

 

 

Update on TTWD/DD - Thoughts????

We have been very busy lately. 

 

I have been bratting and owner couldn't do anything about it because of our circumstances we've had.

 

It got to a point the other day that I told him that I was done with DD.   Not a good idea!  By the time he got home, I was a bit more kind and told him I was sorry, and I was.   However, while I craved it, I was also trying to get out of it.

 

Due to the lack of consistency, even though I said I was sorry, he went through with what he said he was going to do. 

 

So in the closet I go, forced to undress and bend over. We don't usually do over the knee because we don't have the space in our closet, so it's me on the floor on my knees bent over. (There are times that we go outside to the car in our garage and use the back seat and I am bent over his knees that way) He usually spreads my legs and this last time told me I could not arch my back which made my butt stand out more which I hated.  5 minutes of spanking!  Then I stand up and he sees I still have an attitude, which I did.  I don't know why!  We figure its because the longer we go without any discipline or just maintenance my attitude returns and I forget or push to take control.  Or its just me simply bratting because I know I need it.

 

 

Because of having an attitude still that meant corner time.  Again this is where we practice submission and take away my pride.  I always end up getting spanked a few times because I can never stay still as he touches me.   Its a form of humiliation, not in a bad way, but in a way of remembering that I belong to him and submit to him and obey. 

 

After awhile of me still moving he had me bent back over and spanking my butt again.  After that I told him I was ready to try and be still and submit.

 

I finally stood still and he told me I was being a good girl and "he wants to inspect what belongs to him."

 

"It might be between your legs but it belongs to me"

 

 

 

We do NOT believe in butt plugs and feel it has no place in a DD life style, even in D/s. Though he has joked about enemas before. Umm, NO!  While I would have no control because he is my owner, I would die of embarrassment and would put up a fight. One time he had me grab my ankles and that was so humiliating, because he had my legs spread and everything in view.   However there are times when I am over his knee (when in the car)  or bent over on the floor he will spread my checks and that is horrible! I always squirm and tell him to quit.  Not a good idea! Humiliating! HATE IT!

 

 

 

For you women out there, do you find that you ever crave, or need to feel your rear red?   Do you find that you need it?  Almost like you need the pain on your rear to feel your owners authority over you? 

 

At times I feel like I need to feel the pain, but its a knowing of my owner taking me and putting me in my place and showing me his authority and controlling me.

 

After reading about some things, I feel like at times I am manipulating him into spanking me.  Bratting! I know I am because I feel its what I need. 

 

I also want him to feel his power, his control over me.  I want him to know that he has complete control over me and enjoy his power and authority over me.  I know he does in some respects because he likes to see my rear RED!  A red bottom is a happy husband!

 

Anyone else feel that way? 

 

~Jane

Thank you all!!!

I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog.  As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions.  Is this normal, is that normal?  Should I feel this way?  Is it working? 

At times I doubt it and myself.   At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it.   Sometimes it's confusing!

For us, it has saved our marriage!   We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things. 

It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place.   We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.  

I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!  

But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come. 

Maintenance makes me get an attitude? Anyone else? Looking for answers!

Does anyone find that things are going good then it's time for maintenance and then you get in trouble?  We can have a great day and then it's time for maintenance and then while I am in a humiliating position or getting a spanking I get mad!  When he is done is always asks me how I feel and I get like this......
 

I get an attitude and I don't know why!!! 

From there it is a slippery slope!!!

 

 

After he sees that I am heading down this slippery slope. The picture below describes it.

 

 

 

 

 

Below is the position 95% of the time he has me in when we are in our "spanking area" It's sucks!  It allows him more access to the back of my lower thigh, my sit spot!  He does 

and will and has taken me over his knees and sometime he does for warm up and then I'm in this position. 

 

However he has figured out some new things, new positions that he likes to spank in and is very, very  humiliating!!

"Bend over and grab your ankles"  WTH?  Talk about embarrassing and humiliation!  He will have me just stand there like that.  So embarrassing!  However when I'm in this position I also get a spanking, and then usually followed up by above position to finish up.

While he has started with is this new horrible, humiliating postion in the picture above, he still uses his old fall back of standard corner time.  Naked, legs spread, and hands on the back of my head.  I can't be still in any position and is usually while I get spanked.  I know its a matter of letting go of pride, and dignity and therefore attitude adjustment or just the simple reminder of my place in our family and who runs things, reminding me that I'm his.  For the life of me I can not be still when his hands start moving around or he tells me to be still, yet his hands can move all over me while we are making love. 

 

 I think it has to do again with the pride of being made to do it, obedience and submission and that wooden spoon wondering around my butt!  LOL After a few spankings he will ask me if I want to make him happy and if I'm going to be obedient and submissive and a good girl.  My answer is always YES because I do.   But I always have attitude, always.  Though I can be fine when going in for maintenance its just I get this sudden attitude and pissy.  However, after a few sound spankings for moving, and him turning me around and giving me a fair chance and asking me how I feel, I have a wall up.  He then puts me  back in position or ANOTHER more embarrassing position,  and for some reason at that point, AFTER all that, I START then letting go.  Don't ask why because I don't know why.   Like right now I know I am getting maintenance tonight and it will be spanking and some sort of humiliating position (with everything that comes with being in that position) and I dreading it yet I'm not pissed or mad about it and deep down (though I've already complained to my owner about it and tried to get out of it) I know its needed.   However, I also know that while I'm dreading it now, I will be fine walking into our "discipline area" but the moment he makes me take my clothes off and I get spanked I will get mad and this will take time after time of spanking and humiliation before after awhile something will click and I will be obedient and submissive and do as I'm told. I will let go of my dignity and pride and give it to my owner.   I KNOW he loves me and I think that's why I can do this eventually, its just the initial being pissed off.  Even when I know logically its for the best, I guess its just my natural reaction to put up that wall and give attitude because my butt is hurting and I'm embarrassed.

 

 

Truth be told and I hate to say it, probably what is MOST effective with me is humiliation.  The worse the position, the more effective it is because I lose pride faster and dignity.  The picture below is a position that I think would be the ultimate humiliation. (other than the enemas and "butt" stuff everyone talks about - I would cry so hard of humiliation and embarrassment! )  But grabbing my ankles is pretty close to the below picture and makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide!  But yet so is regular corner time that was described above.  They are all embarrassing! YIKES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spankings are very humiliating also and I think when my butt starts hurting that's when I get mad and get attitude and put up a wall.   He has to spank me several times for me to get in the right frame of mind to except it.  Once I do, I truly do except it.   But he has gone from someone who was scared to spank me with only 4 tiny swats, to beating and reddening my butt and love seeing it red!  He has taken on the attitude in the picture below.  However, on some level I crave them and I know I need them.   I KNOW I do!  Once I have been broken down and I finally submit and let go, it gives me a release and I am so thankful for my owner for keeping up with it.  He knows what's best for me.  He has seen it.   I will admit to at times I have gone back to him and asked him to discipline me again because I didn't accept it the way I should have and that was with submission in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what my loving owner does for me in the picture below. He has to pull back layers, after layers for me to truly submit.  I am getting better in day to day life, I think.   It is a long process and one that is and has paid off but we are constantly learning and I'm sure we will never have it down to an art. 

 

 

 

My owner tells me that when I submit and I'm still and I finally except my maintenance, or discipline or I listen and don't back talk. (or in general just follow rules) that it makes him happy.  He knows its not easy for me and I'm trying.  As I said, I will and have gone back to him and asked for another spanking and corner time so I could submit the correct way, I am willing at times to put myself through another reddening of my butt that is already sore and the humiliation of whatever position he puts me in to accept it the correct way.   That means my submission and putting my full trust in him because I love him and he loves me and takes care of me and protects me.

 

 

 

YET, I still don't understand why I can go in our "spanking area" and I am fine knowing Im getting maintenance (tho dreading it) and then within minutes pissed and mad and I get spanked several times, but after he continues I finally let go and submit to the touching and spankings and I am so grateful to him and feel like I can melt into him.   Logically I know all of this, BUT WHY the initial reaction?  Does anyone else have this issue?

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New Rules and Owner likes a red bottom

 

 

 

This pictures says a thousand words! 

I think most husbands, once they embrace the DD, TTWD, D/s Lifestyle enjoy seeing our bottoms RED!   The might not like having to do it, but I think they do like judging the color and looking at their "handy" work. 

 

 

 

Whatever the reason, be it because of displeasure, not obeying, back talking, or simply just because they want to,  knowing that it will keep the marriage strong and reminder of who has authority and who is in control they find enjoyment from it in that respect.

 

 

My owner finally put together a new list of rules. 

Not going to be fun!

 

I already know I'm in trouble for today. 

 

As much as I hate it, find it embarrassing, and yet at the same time find it a turn on, (which is embarrassing alone)  I KNOW its needed.  For some reason my body, my brain needs it.  I need the accountability,  someone who is not afraid to stand up to me,  someone is not afraid to say "Ok, get up and go to the closet" for no reason at all and blister my rear!  In my brain it resets me, it is a stress relief, and sometimes I feel like the pain that I feel when I'm being spanked is what gives me that relief!  I think it takes my mind off of things that is bothering me when I'm on overload.

 

DD, TTWD, D/s lifestyle is a wonderful way for us.

 

So while I get what I need (even when I'm trying to talk him out of spanking me) I feel owner gets satisfaction for one spanking me and watching my butt turn red, (when we first started I don't think he liked it that much but as he has fully embraced it, I see it in him) and  two the results that come out of our lifestyle.

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?

 

 

It has been awhile since I've posted here!  I hope everyone is doing great! 

 

 Things have been going well!   We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD. 

 

When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage! 

 

Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!

 

Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about. 

 

What is the difference between DD and D/s? 

 

For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic.   Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on?  Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?

 

Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on?  An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me.  To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.)  The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive)  For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline.  However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating.  Does that happen to anyone else?  Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority. 

 

That also goes for corner time.  I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person.  Embarrassing!  So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.

 

*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me.  When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings. 

 

Is this degrading to what DD is about?  TTWD?  LDD?  Does this happen to other women?

 

Or does this qualify as D/s????? 

 

Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come!  I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things!  Thank you!

 

~Jane

I've been staying in trouble! :(

I can't even begin to tell you how many spankings I have gotten!

Yesterday I started with gettin sassy in a text message and his response was "Panties off NOW".... /sigh  Plus the last 2 days prior to that Ive been havin to write lines......

Last night HOH had me do corner time, panties dropped to the floor and he makes sure my shirt is up high enough and if its not he comes and spanks my rear and pulls it up again, he seems to want my butt on display as much as it can be.......... Then I got discipline for having a "wall" up and being distant...... and then for havin a bratty attitude the night before, then I got maintence. 

He told me Im getting maintence every night until further notice. 

Then this morning I still had a wall up and because of that and for some other reason he had me in the closet, panties down with the hair brush.   :(   

Then when we came back to bed he said I still had a attitude and I did....... and I told him that he is still leaving me in control.  He was quiet for a few mins, and then he said "You know what, you are not in control anymore."  He grabbed me by my wrist firmly took me again into the closet, told me to pull down my panties in a firm voice and this time gave me a good hard sound spanking that I had no control over, I didn't know when he was going to stop even tho I was starting to move around.  After he was done, still in a firm voice, he told me to pull my panties up and took me again firmly by the wrist and walked me to the bed and told me to get back in bed.   I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said "you can in a little bit." So after we talked for a few more minutes he asked me if I really had to go to the bathroom again, and I was doomed!  Because I didn't really have to go, it was my way of still acting out, I guess.   So because of lying to show out, even though I was acting alot better, another trip into the closet and I got it with the hair brush AGAIN! 

He then informed me that NOW we are doing maintenance in the morning and at night.

However we are seeing HUGE improvement though!!!!!!!!  The other day I finally got EVERYTHING on my chore list done, and in the time fame he wanted them done!   I was so proud of myself and he was proud of me also!    Finally I was able to stick to a schedule, and work on my time managment.

Even after this mornings spanking(s)....... Im in for more tonight because I have already broke one rule which is discipline which mean a spanking and corner time..... and then maintenance.   

My poor red glowing butt!   But I wouldn't change a thing!   DD has brought us so much closer!  It is helping me in so many areas of my life and our marriage.   The only thing I would change is hubby  gettin more firm with me, and I want him to be!   I love him so much for that!   I NEED that! Yet, he is very loving and always kissing me and holding me.......  

Jane   ~~~ Madly in love with Tarzan

Last night was...ummm... a bit different.....

Ive always been a smart mouth!   Im a smart mouth even when I don't know it!  

Hubby gave me 3 strikes yesterday.... I was just jokin around and playin..... but after the fact realized it was in fact disrespectful.   I just don't know when to stop and when enough is enough.   I've been this way my entire life.   When he says thats strike 1.... I don't believe him or I laugh.

So last night I ended up with a maintenance. 

But........

He did something else that we have not done yet in our DD lifestyle, and he said he was not sure if he would.   I was shocked at the effect it had on me. 

Yes, corner time!   :(    Wow!   I felt horrible with this!  He sent me in the closet and told me to pull down my panties, spread my legs, hand on the back on my head and he pulled up my shirt enough that my entire butt was showing.   The effect it had on me was powerful!   Needless to say I don't know if I like it or hate it.   It was very humiliating when HOH would walk in and Im standing there like that, but it made me feel vulnerable to the man I love, which in turn brought submission.   So good things about it, and things I do not like about it at all.   But the effects of it I think out way the good of it.  After that I got my discipline and I submitted to it with no back talk. 

My HOH has stepped into this role so fast!  I never knew he had it in him!  He is alot more firm with me, he is not lettin me get away with things, and now not only is he disciplining me with spankings, he is doing maintenance, and now corner time.  His spankings are starting to become a huge dread because he is spanking alot longer and a lot harder which is a GREAT thing for me b/c the longer and harder he does it the more of an impression it makes.   And from all of that, I respect this man I married more than ever!!!!!  I love every bit of authority he has over me!  

Actually I forgot, I got 2 maintenance spankings yesterday.   When I woke up yesterday morning my nerves were on edge and he knew it.  I mentioned that I might need one (I promised to tell him when I felt I might) and he took me in the closet and gave me one.  As soon as it was over it reset my thinking.

So thankful for DD in our life!  TiH, TTWD!   More so thankful for my HOH for taking this and running with it and making me fall into submission like the wife I should be.

~Jane DDLearning

Spanking Survey I found

SPANKING SURVEY

Have you ever gotten spanked?     YES!

Are you spanked bare bottomed, over panties, or over clothes?  Bare Bottom

What is the best thing about being spanked? It makes me feel loved and cared - it makes me feel submissve and lets my husband exercise his authority over me when Ive done something that needs correcting.  But it also keeps me vulnerable and feminine for the man I trust, it reinforces our roles in our marriage.

What position do you get spanked in?    However, my husband desires to give me a spanking I will submitt.  Usually its me bending all the way over.  Tho I have been OTK, and a few times over the hood of the car in our garage b/c of company.

Have you ever gotten spanked in public? No

What do you get spanked with the most? Rubber Hair Brush

On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?  It varies

Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush? Yes

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?  Yes

Were you spanked as a child? No, not really.

Do you think spanking is fun?  I do at times find it erotic, but when it comes down to pulling down my panties and bending over..... Then its not erotic.

Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket, etc)?  No.

Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?   Yes, maintenance in our household is for many reasons, but one of those reasons is if my HOH decides it just needs to be done just as a reminder or to just put me in a feminine mood, more submissive.  Or flat out just because..... Just b/c he feels its due.

Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher? No

Is your butt spankable?  It must be.
Are you currently in trouble?   Probably, hubby keeps asking me if I did something when he told me to, by a certain time frame and I keep ignoring the question and answering with other things.

Do you get lectured during the spanking? No, not during.  But like last night, he wanted to make sure I knew why.

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked? Not as an adult.

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing? No

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying? No

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument in one spanking session?   Yes.... Hairbrush, wooden spoon, blind rod, and hand

Do you hate spankings?  It is a very strong love/hate relationship with it.  I know I need it, it has helped.  It has made our marriage so much stronger!   It was what we both needed.

How many people spank you? Just my husband.

Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?  I suppose.

Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was purple?  Bruised

Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?  I view it as discipline.  And yes!  However, corner time also sucks.

Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse? Definitely better.

Is your butt red and sore afterwards?  Yes.  HOH likes to see it glow red.



Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker? No

Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?  Yes

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?  Yes.  Ive also asked for maintenance, however HOH usually knows when I need both.
Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?   No.  Is it because Im ashamed?  NO!  But I doubt they would understand.   It not like its a secret, but rather its something private between me and my HOH.

 
Have you ever gotten you butt caned? No.

Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon? Yes.

What do you get spanked for?  Lots of reasons.

On average, how many times a month are you spanked?  Just about every day, or every other day.

Do your friends know that you get spanked?  No

.
On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious,such as speeding?  it varies.  Sometimes not so hard and therefore doesn't have that much of an effect and usually leads to a spanking later.  The harder and longer he goes the more of an impression it makes and resets my thinking and takes away my control and makes me more submissive and vunlnerable to my husband, which makes me for feminine for him and give him the respect he deserves.

Have you ever gotten your butt belted?  No

Have you ever gotten your butt paddled? No

After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offense?  Every day it seems, but slowly, VERY slowly we are seeing benefits in some of the correction my HOH sees I need to make.

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?  He likes seeing my butt glow I think.....Does he get off on it?  I dont think so, but he does enjoy after it when I feel like I melt into him and I am at his mercy and he has taken away my pride and spanks me back into submission, and vulnerable to him.

When is the last time you got spanked?  Embarrassing corner time and yes spanking.

Have you ever spanked yourself?  No.

What is the worst thing about being spanked?  Pulling down my panties in front of my husband.   Its embarrassing and then bending over.   However again, this DOES serve a STRONG purpose!  Submissive, feminine, vulnerable and remembering our roles.

How long does the spanking last? It varies, tho they seem to be getting longer and harder.

Do you like to be spanked?  See above.

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?  Both!!!!  No doubt!  I have to have rules as HOH and I have figured out, it is important in our marriage..... However Im always breakin them it seems........... but slowly.......... things are getting better and Im learning..... Discipline has helped a lot.....  and the connection we share.......