I'm here but don't know what to say........

I'm here and I don't know what to say.

This lifestyle works for us!  Every time we implement it, it works! 

Then somehow we get off track.

When we do I start feeling unbalanced.   I find myself not paying attention to the rules that were ONCE there, and letting my mind wonder and not respecting my HOH as much.  

I don't like this.

I have brought it back up to my HOH but I hate being the one to bring it up.   :(

Does anyone feel the need to have TiH, DD, CDD, LDD lifestyle to feel like you BELONG to your HOH? 

Maybe it's because of some past, recent issues I have been dealing with but I need that foundation, structure, feeling secure and like I belong to someone and they are going to protect me.

I have done so much research on this lifestyle and even though we KNOW it works for us, why can't we stick to it? 

We do good for months and then slip.

I was just about to write an ebook on it to help other couples starting out on this lifestyle, and that is still what I want to do.

With the above questions, how do you feel about the feeling of belonging to him?

~Jane   (Sorry I have been MIA)

I was 1 1/2 hours late!

I was 1 1/2 hours late.   Yikes!

First off so you can understand what I am talking about.   HOH has a rule that from 10-12 I am to stay off the computer.  

Well yesterday I didn't.   I was 1 1/2 hours late! 

I paid for it with my butt! 

When I told him, I did it Via text.   (LOL - most of you wives out there know that is the easiest way sometimes LOL) 

The text I got back was one I could tell he was upset.

I thought he would be find with me going over since it is a 2 hour block and I think/feel like that 2 hours can be at any time.  

I learned the hard way.

He said his house will run like clockwork one day, and that if he could come home right then he would and whip my butt.    You see I have horrible time management! 

If I am just 1 minute late on something then I get in trouble, so you can see that me being 1 1/2 hours was NOT good!

I was told to remove my panties for the next 2 hours.  Which he knows I hate, and I told him that yesterday because it makes me stay wet and it drives me nuts!

Then when he got home I had to get in the corner and then I got very thoroughly spanked! 

He told me that he is not going by minutes any longer, just by the glow of my butt!  LOL  

So today I am trying really hard to be careful!

Oh yeah, something I forgot and thank goodness HOH let it pass.  I got a ticket the other day for not wearing my seat belt.   When I told him he was right away saying you will get a whipping for that because I tell you to put your seat belt on all the time.    Well,  since this was my very first ticket and ever being pulled over, he let me off the hook.   Thank goodness!     However I know now that even without a ticket, that if I am ever in a vehicle without my seat belt on I am going to be disciplined for it.   


So, that has been my last few days.  

Jane

Let me clear this up! :)

I believe in old fashioned values. 

 

For me in our marriage this means DD, TiH, TTWD. I used to think we were more D/s.  However, as time goes on and our TiH/DD relationship continues to grow through trial and error, we are finding what works for US, and we are realizing that we have a tendency to lean more towards TiH. But I do think its fair to say that we have a good mixture of all four with what works for us.    They are all about the same in some shape or form, they are all about having a head and being submissive the way we should.

 

Let me be very clear in my next statement.   I do not, and never have, and never will believe in BDSM.   This is my blog so I am voicing my thoughts.   :)     So if you come here to read I want you to know that straight up.  I will never advocate or post things like that here or in the community that I own.

 

I was looking back through my blog and I see some pictures and wording of some blogs that could make it seem we are way more leaning towards D/s.   But that is just not true, so I want to make sure I clear that up. Maybe at one time when finding "us" we did, but now I think we just have a very well rounded TiH relationship that covers a lot of many different things.    In the near future I will probably go back and remove some of those pictures and might even change the wording of some, or delete them all together.  

 

For me this is consensual domestic discipline within the confines of a marriage of a man and woman. 

 

(Below I found from another website and I think it sums it up perfectly!)

 

In today's world this is definitely not politically correct, but today's world isn't in such great shape is it?  What America needs is a full-fledged return to the values and morals this country was founded upon and that made it great.  The time when men were real men and being a submissive wife did not mean she was a doormat.  The strongest woman I know is the one who willingly places herself in subjection to her own husband despite his flaws.

 

So there you go!  

 

Jane

 

 

We test our HOH sometimes to see if they will stand their ground, but sometimes I think we are testing ourselves.

Dear Readers,   (a little different opening, huh? :) )

Most of us women in a DD marriage, (TiH) find at some point or another we test our HOH to see really who is STILL in control.   We want them to stand up to us and not let us walk all over them.

However I was thinking about this also, I believe at times I am really testing myself to see if I will actually submit in the quiet, sweet way that I should. 

There are times that I want to fight him on it. 

The way he has me positioned most of the time is on all fours with my legs spread and butt pushed out some.   I admit that sometimes, more often than not, I start arching my back trying to pull my butt down so it isn't just out there. 

At first its about the pain of the spanking but then at some point during the spanking I tell myself that I need to stop moving and be still and submit the way I should.   Granted this doesn't happen all the time. 

There have been times that after a spanking or corner time that I actually went back and asked him to redo it because I didn't feel like I submitted the way I should have, because I was either moving or giving him a hard time in some form.   The next time he does the repeat I try my hardest to be still and submit 110%!   I try not to move or anything. 

So I do think at times I a testing myself by testing him.    If I test him and he bites back I know what I got coming to me and it is a way for me to see if I am going to submit quietly the way I should.

We have blanket consent so it doesn't really matter, but I want to submit the way I should.  

Just something interesting I thought about and wanted to share. 

Jane

So we meet again wooden spoon!

Well HOH caught me coming out of the shower still wet and I got 6 minutes with the thick wooden spoon.     After it was done he asked me to do something and I told him no, (why did I do that??? I mean I was still standing here naked!!!) and he told me to bend over for another minute with the spoon! He wanted me to come look at my butt to enforce the discipline but I didn't want to.     Tonight is another 6 minutes and Thursday is 7 minutes.    I don't mean to be disrespectful - it just happens! Right now I'm being disciplined big time for being very disrespectful a few days back!  I got to learn to keep mouth in check! 

Sore bottom,
Jane

 

 

 

Long blog, sorry.

So I posted a few days ago about what was coming up today, "the big spanking" for disrespect. He wanted to wait on Tuesday (today) because of my period.  Well I talked to HOH a few days ago and asked him if he would please break it up over a few days, and he said he would think about it.   He finally told me that he would break it up for me. That disrespect the other day earned me 21 minutes, and not an easy 21 minutes. (that's not including anything I might get in trouble for)  He told me I wouldn't be able to sit for a week.   (That was when he was going to do it all on Tuesday.)

Plus, this spanking has been coming for a few days from when I acted disrespectful, and I feel bad for the disrespect.  It has just been lingering over my head, I felt/feel bad, and I needed to submit.  I needed some sort of discipline to start easing the guilt for my actions, to show him that I respect him and his power over me.  So I sent him some text messages explaining that.  I told him I would submit to any discipline action, no matter how humiliating and to please not wait until Tuesday. 

So last night I was working out and wasn't home, and that part was fine.  However we also had unexpected/expected (at the last minute) company last night.  So I come home, still sweaty and my back end cold and instantly he takes me into the other room and knew it was for some sort of discipline.  I kept telling him I needed a shower first and he said he knew that.  That didn't stop him, because of my text messages  and also due to the circumstances of having company, he was going to go through with giving me some sort of discipline. Which I am grateful to him for.   He told me to pull down my pants and panties ( because of limited time he didn't make me fully undress) and bend over.  (which I did, there was something in front of me to grab)  He took that wooden spoon and for 2 minutes gave me a good, hard, solid, deserved spanking. I think about 30 seconds into it I was crying because it hurt.  I kept reminding myself that it was deserved and it was for my disrespect and he didn't deserve that from me and that this is some of my discipline for it.  

So that took 2 minutes off of my 21 so far for the week.  So if I can manage to keep my mouth shut and follow the rules I have 19 minutes left for the disrespect.  

I have to say that I truly, with all my heart, love our DD, TiH, TTWD lifestyle/relationship.

It changes who each of us are in our relationship.  He is more dominant now than ever, (even before we fell off the wagon for a few months and restarted a few weeks ago) and I am more submissive and each day we are growing more and more into our roles.    We know our roles, we know who we are in our marriage.   It makes for a peaceful household, but also makes up so much more closer.

Yes, should I be submissive anyway?  Do I need the threaten of a spanking or whatever humiliating discipline he comes up with to "fit the infraction?"  Do I need this lifestyle to respect him?   The answer to these questions are yes, and no.

Yes I want to be submissive, but no its not easy.  Today we live in a world that women have to act equal and we simply are not.   That doesn't mean we are "lower" or a doormat, it means that the HOH  makes the rules and we abide by them.   

Do I need a threaten of a spanking?  Yes.  Because again we live in a world that forces it down your  throat to not answer to anyone.  So yes I need the threat of a spanking or some sort of discipline to keeps me in check reminding me that I do have someone to answer to, and that is my HOH.   I know my husband loves me enough to make sure that happens. 

I respect my HOH with or without this lifestyle.   However, my respect for my HOH grew by leaps and bounds when we started this lifestyle a year ago.  Then when we fell off the wagon for a couple of months, it was still there but not as strong, but still there nonetheless.   Now that we are back full force with our lifestyle, and that respect for him as a man, my owner, the HOH is deeper and stronger than it has EVER been.  

I love him more and more, and feel closer to him than ever.  I am his, and he takes care of me.  He loves me for everything that I am, and I love him!   I am not easy to handle, I am strong willed, sarcastic, and sassy, so his job is not easy, but he does it. 

So tonight it's 5-7 minutes of spanking for just that, and I hope I don't get into any other trouble or it will be longer, and this time we don't have any company so I know it will be worse.  I know it will be the entire spanking process, undressing and getting into position. 

While I am dreading it big time, (so dreading it)  I am also thankful for it because I want this discipline to go away along with that episode of horrible disrespect.  Once the final 21 minutes is over this week then I can stop feeling guilty about acting horrible to my HOH........until next time I run off at the mouth. 

I am the sort of person that runs off at the mouth first before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble, along with time management.    With that being said, I need to close out this blog before I get into more trouble. 

~Jane

Spanking survey! Interesting!

 

 

1.) Was there a certain event from your life, that sparked the spanking interest? If so, feel free to share:

We hit a bad spot in our marriage that almost left us in a divorce and me and him almost cheating on each other. You see I've always been bossy, and need to have things my way.  I never mean to be selfish, but I stay in control and want to do things a certain way.   However at same time I want to be told what to do, dominated, and have someone take care of me.  At the time my husband didn't do that.  I felt like I could walk all over him, and I did.  I wanted to know there is someone that is bigger, stronger, in control, and can handle my stubborn attitude.  I wanted to know there is someone that will say "No, you can't do that" or "Don't talk to me like that" and wasn't afraid to back it up with a spanking if I didn't listen, even by force if needed if I decided to fight.   I needed and longed for someone that would protect me from everything in this world, including myself, someone that loved me enough.    That is what my Owner/HOH has become! He is not the boy I married, he is now THE MAN I married!  :)
 
2.) What do you most often call your HOH/Spanker? (Sir, Master, etc.)

 Owner at different times, but mostly his name.  However when he is disciplining me or maintenance he makes sure that I say "Yes Sir" and he repeats and makes sure I acknowledge that he is my owner.

3.) What does your HOH/Spanker most often call you? (Young Lady, Girl, etc)

My girl, and good girl. (when I'm good)

 4.) We're building a big spanko bonfire, which one implement are you bringing to toss in?

Either the belt or the thick wooden spoon he has. 

 5.) We all know how many punishments there are to choose from; spanking, lecturing, corner time, etc.. but what about rewards? Do you have a favorite 'reward' that is used? If not, what's something you'd like used as a reward?

I don't need a "reward" because the "reward" is that I have the man I've needed my entire life, and with DD I become the woman (lady, girl) he needs that respects him and it gives our relationship a whole new meaning.  That is our reward.

 6.) What's that one phrase, that when it's used, you know you're in trouble?

He hasn't come up with one yet.  Usually its just a given that I've crossed a line and later I am going to be in the closet, in the garage in the car, or in the basement.

He has started saying "we will talk about this later" jokingly and that is suppose to mean that I will be getting spanked or disciplined in some form.  However he has never acted on that yet.

 7.) What's something you'd like to cross off your spanking bucket list? Being shy is not an option here people. ;)
I don't have a spanking bucket list, however I am worried one day he will get a leather belt or bigger paddle, or if I really, really, really cross a line use a non spanking discipline that will totally humiliate me.   (He has said he has no intentions of doing that but nothing is off the table)

 8.) Someone comes to you, and says they just started practicing domestic discipline. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give them?

To go with it!  Enjoy it!  Enjoy the reward it brings.  For the Man to be FIRM and consistent!  For the wife to be submissive as hard as it may be.  Believe me, I know!  I get plenty of spankings when we do our "submission exercise" if you will.  

9.) Where is the craziest place you've been spanked?

I guess in the garage bent over the car?  Not crazy! He has swatted my butt in public kinda playing and kinda being serious.  Kinda embarrassing!  LOL

10.) We talked about a spanking bucket list, now let's get a little more into it.. what about a BDSM style bucket list? What's something you'd like to cross off of that?
We are not into BDSM.

 11.) Is there a punishment you thought you'd never try, but ended up trying and finding effective?

Corner time totally nude.  Or when he tells me no panties!  I never thought that wearing no panties at his demand would accomplish anything, but it does.  Sometimes he will tell me no panties just because and there is no reason other than that's what he wants and it keeps me thinking about him. The simple fact of just obeying and submission.  At the same time he has used it as discipline before.  He sent me a text and told me to take my panties off and leave them off until certain chores were done.  To make sure I listened he had me take a picture of my panties that I had taken off. 

 12.) What is something you wish you knew before you started DD/TTWD?

How much closer it would make us.  How it would make me soft, gentle, feminine, submissive and give the respect to my husband he deserves and that I would see him in such control and him being a true MAN!

13.) If you could take a break from one rule, for one week, which rule would it be?

 That I can have a few glasses of wine when I want and not have to ask first.

14.) This might sound like a no brainer at first, but really think about it. If you could only have one sort of spanking in your dynamic, would you rather it be discipline or fun?

I'd choose discipline.  The discipline satisfies an emotional and psychological need of mine, and in turn makes our marriage happier and gives my husband the control he should have in our marriage.

15.) If your HOH/Spanker messed up, and offered to let you spank them, would you? Why/Why not?

No way. I think it would leave me unsettled and feeling "off."  Even if he messed up and I shot off at the mouth about it, I would expect him to discipline me for disrespect even though he messed up.

16.) What is your favorite form of aftercare?

 

The closeness it brings.  I can melt into him.  And of course sometimes, not all the time, we make love and that is really nice.

 17.) How was DD/spanking brought up to you, or how did you bring it up to your partner?

Its something I read about many, many years ago and my HOH was not interested at that point.  I don't think he realized that we needed it and I didn't either to the extent we did.  But after we almost ended in divorce I brought it back to his attention and we went for it. 

18.) If your spanker could use only one implement from here on out, what would they use?

Wooden paddle or belt...it's a toss up.

19.) Do you have a favorite pair of panties to wear when you know you're going to be spanked? If so, what are they?

I'm not allowed to wear clothes when I'm being disciplined.  He either makes me undress or he undresses me.

 20.) Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on how you look at it) mind reading hasn't yet been perfected. What's something you want your HOH/Dom/Spanker to know? (For example, don't be afraid to spank harder, or something along those lines.) Don't be afraid, spill!

I know you do this because you love me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you really how much that means to me. Always be firm with me, and don't be afraid to make me cry.  I need your firmness and to know I can not walk all over you.  And if I do you have no issue with beating my butt and if I fight you on it, forcibly spanking me.



*Bonus Question (just because it's fun)- Is there a picture (spanking, dd, Ds, etc related) that you just really love? If so, let's see it!*

I have a few... He has her in a position that she can't fight him on.  You can also see that he has enforced full nudity with the discipline.



 

 

This one because I have been in this position and its quick to strip any attitude and it is effective! It enforces humility really fast!

 

Then this one is my FAVORITE! To me it reminds me how I feel about my HOH after he has disciplined me. (if disciplined the correct way because if I don't have the attitude depicted in the picture then I don't have the RIGHT attitude)  Complete submission for the HOH!

 

 

Update on TTWD/DD - Thoughts????

We have been very busy lately. 

 

I have been bratting and owner couldn't do anything about it because of our circumstances we've had.

 

It got to a point the other day that I told him that I was done with DD.   Not a good idea!  By the time he got home, I was a bit more kind and told him I was sorry, and I was.   However, while I craved it, I was also trying to get out of it.

 

Due to the lack of consistency, even though I said I was sorry, he went through with what he said he was going to do. 

 

So in the closet I go, forced to undress and bend over. We don't usually do over the knee because we don't have the space in our closet, so it's me on the floor on my knees bent over. (There are times that we go outside to the car in our garage and use the back seat and I am bent over his knees that way) He usually spreads my legs and this last time told me I could not arch my back which made my butt stand out more which I hated.  5 minutes of spanking!  Then I stand up and he sees I still have an attitude, which I did.  I don't know why!  We figure its because the longer we go without any discipline or just maintenance my attitude returns and I forget or push to take control.  Or its just me simply bratting because I know I need it.

 

 

Because of having an attitude still that meant corner time.  Again this is where we practice submission and take away my pride.  I always end up getting spanked a few times because I can never stay still as he touches me.   Its a form of humiliation, not in a bad way, but in a way of remembering that I belong to him and submit to him and obey. 

 

After awhile of me still moving he had me bent back over and spanking my butt again.  After that I told him I was ready to try and be still and submit.

 

I finally stood still and he told me I was being a good girl and "he wants to inspect what belongs to him."

 

"It might be between your legs but it belongs to me"

 

 

 

We do NOT believe in butt plugs and feel it has no place in a DD life style, even in D/s. Though he has joked about enemas before. Umm, NO!  While I would have no control because he is my owner, I would die of embarrassment and would put up a fight. One time he had me grab my ankles and that was so humiliating, because he had my legs spread and everything in view.   However there are times when I am over his knee (when in the car)  or bent over on the floor he will spread my checks and that is horrible! I always squirm and tell him to quit.  Not a good idea! Humiliating! HATE IT!

 

 

 

For you women out there, do you find that you ever crave, or need to feel your rear red?   Do you find that you need it?  Almost like you need the pain on your rear to feel your owners authority over you? 

 

At times I feel like I need to feel the pain, but its a knowing of my owner taking me and putting me in my place and showing me his authority and controlling me.

 

After reading about some things, I feel like at times I am manipulating him into spanking me.  Bratting! I know I am because I feel its what I need. 

 

I also want him to feel his power, his control over me.  I want him to know that he has complete control over me and enjoy his power and authority over me.  I know he does in some respects because he likes to see my rear RED!  A red bottom is a happy husband!

 

Anyone else feel that way? 

 

~Jane

Thank you all!!!

I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog.  As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions.  Is this normal, is that normal?  Should I feel this way?  Is it working? 

At times I doubt it and myself.   At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it.   Sometimes it's confusing!

For us, it has saved our marriage!   We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things. 

It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place.   We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.  

I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!  

But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come. 

New Rules and Owner likes a red bottom

 

 

 

This pictures says a thousand words! 

I think most husbands, once they embrace the DD, TTWD, D/s Lifestyle enjoy seeing our bottoms RED!   The might not like having to do it, but I think they do like judging the color and looking at their "handy" work. 

 

 

 

Whatever the reason, be it because of displeasure, not obeying, back talking, or simply just because they want to,  knowing that it will keep the marriage strong and reminder of who has authority and who is in control they find enjoyment from it in that respect.

 

 

My owner finally put together a new list of rules. 

Not going to be fun!

 

I already know I'm in trouble for today. 

 

As much as I hate it, find it embarrassing, and yet at the same time find it a turn on, (which is embarrassing alone)  I KNOW its needed.  For some reason my body, my brain needs it.  I need the accountability,  someone who is not afraid to stand up to me,  someone is not afraid to say "Ok, get up and go to the closet" for no reason at all and blister my rear!  In my brain it resets me, it is a stress relief, and sometimes I feel like the pain that I feel when I'm being spanked is what gives me that relief!  I think it takes my mind off of things that is bothering me when I'm on overload.

 

DD, TTWD, D/s lifestyle is a wonderful way for us.

 

So while I get what I need (even when I'm trying to talk him out of spanking me) I feel owner gets satisfaction for one spanking me and watching my butt turn red, (when we first started I don't think he liked it that much but as he has fully embraced it, I see it in him) and  two the results that come out of our lifestyle.

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?

 

 

It has been awhile since I've posted here!  I hope everyone is doing great! 

 

 Things have been going well!   We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD. 

 

When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage! 

 

Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!

 

Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about. 

 

What is the difference between DD and D/s? 

 

For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic.   Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on?  Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?

 

Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on?  An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me.  To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.)  The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive)  For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline.  However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating.  Does that happen to anyone else?  Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority. 

 

That also goes for corner time.  I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person.  Embarrassing!  So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.

 

*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me.  When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings. 

 

Is this degrading to what DD is about?  TTWD?  LDD?  Does this happen to other women?

 

Or does this qualify as D/s????? 

 

Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come!  I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things!  Thank you!

 

~Jane

Why is it?

Can someone explain to me, which I have a strong idea myself and from things Ive read, but I would like others thoughts..............Can someone explain why if the HOH of the house makes me stand in the corner naked, legs spread apart and hand on your head after and/or during the spanking for a break it has such a power effect?   It is a turn on, yes.... but also very embarrassing.  Why is it you feel so much more submissive tho?   Its like a package deal?

Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying?    Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......

Can anyone explain these to me?  

I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else?   Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!!  Please! 

~Jane

Last night was...ummm... a bit different.....

Ive always been a smart mouth!   Im a smart mouth even when I don't know it!  

Hubby gave me 3 strikes yesterday.... I was just jokin around and playin..... but after the fact realized it was in fact disrespectful.   I just don't know when to stop and when enough is enough.   I've been this way my entire life.   When he says thats strike 1.... I don't believe him or I laugh.

So last night I ended up with a maintenance. 

But........

He did something else that we have not done yet in our DD lifestyle, and he said he was not sure if he would.   I was shocked at the effect it had on me. 

Yes, corner time!   :(    Wow!   I felt horrible with this!  He sent me in the closet and told me to pull down my panties, spread my legs, hand on the back on my head and he pulled up my shirt enough that my entire butt was showing.   The effect it had on me was powerful!   Needless to say I don't know if I like it or hate it.   It was very humiliating when HOH would walk in and Im standing there like that, but it made me feel vulnerable to the man I love, which in turn brought submission.   So good things about it, and things I do not like about it at all.   But the effects of it I think out way the good of it.  After that I got my discipline and I submitted to it with no back talk. 

My HOH has stepped into this role so fast!  I never knew he had it in him!  He is alot more firm with me, he is not lettin me get away with things, and now not only is he disciplining me with spankings, he is doing maintenance, and now corner time.  His spankings are starting to become a huge dread because he is spanking alot longer and a lot harder which is a GREAT thing for me b/c the longer and harder he does it the more of an impression it makes.   And from all of that, I respect this man I married more than ever!!!!!  I love every bit of authority he has over me!  

Actually I forgot, I got 2 maintenance spankings yesterday.   When I woke up yesterday morning my nerves were on edge and he knew it.  I mentioned that I might need one (I promised to tell him when I felt I might) and he took me in the closet and gave me one.  As soon as it was over it reset my thinking.

So thankful for DD in our life!  TiH, TTWD!   More so thankful for my HOH for taking this and running with it and making me fall into submission like the wife I should be.

~Jane DDLearning

Spanking Survey I found

SPANKING SURVEY

Have you ever gotten spanked?     YES!

Are you spanked bare bottomed, over panties, or over clothes?  Bare Bottom

What is the best thing about being spanked? It makes me feel loved and cared - it makes me feel submissve and lets my husband exercise his authority over me when Ive done something that needs correcting.  But it also keeps me vulnerable and feminine for the man I trust, it reinforces our roles in our marriage.

What position do you get spanked in?    However, my husband desires to give me a spanking I will submitt.  Usually its me bending all the way over.  Tho I have been OTK, and a few times over the hood of the car in our garage b/c of company.

Have you ever gotten spanked in public? No

What do you get spanked with the most? Rubber Hair Brush

On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?  It varies

Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush? Yes

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?  Yes

Were you spanked as a child? No, not really.

Do you think spanking is fun?  I do at times find it erotic, but when it comes down to pulling down my panties and bending over..... Then its not erotic.

Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket, etc)?  No.

Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?   Yes, maintenance in our household is for many reasons, but one of those reasons is if my HOH decides it just needs to be done just as a reminder or to just put me in a feminine mood, more submissive.  Or flat out just because..... Just b/c he feels its due.

Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher? No

Is your butt spankable?  It must be.
Are you currently in trouble?   Probably, hubby keeps asking me if I did something when he told me to, by a certain time frame and I keep ignoring the question and answering with other things.

Do you get lectured during the spanking? No, not during.  But like last night, he wanted to make sure I knew why.

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked? Not as an adult.

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing? No

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying? No

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument in one spanking session?   Yes.... Hairbrush, wooden spoon, blind rod, and hand

Do you hate spankings?  It is a very strong love/hate relationship with it.  I know I need it, it has helped.  It has made our marriage so much stronger!   It was what we both needed.

How many people spank you? Just my husband.

Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?  I suppose.

Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was purple?  Bruised

Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?  I view it as discipline.  And yes!  However, corner time also sucks.

Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse? Definitely better.

Is your butt red and sore afterwards?  Yes.  HOH likes to see it glow red.



Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker? No

Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?  Yes

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?  Yes.  Ive also asked for maintenance, however HOH usually knows when I need both.
Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?   No.  Is it because Im ashamed?  NO!  But I doubt they would understand.   It not like its a secret, but rather its something private between me and my HOH.

 
Have you ever gotten you butt caned? No.

Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon? Yes.

What do you get spanked for?  Lots of reasons.

On average, how many times a month are you spanked?  Just about every day, or every other day.

Do your friends know that you get spanked?  No

.
On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious,such as speeding?  it varies.  Sometimes not so hard and therefore doesn't have that much of an effect and usually leads to a spanking later.  The harder and longer he goes the more of an impression it makes and resets my thinking and takes away my control and makes me more submissive and vunlnerable to my husband, which makes me for feminine for him and give him the respect he deserves.

Have you ever gotten your butt belted?  No

Have you ever gotten your butt paddled? No

After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offense?  Every day it seems, but slowly, VERY slowly we are seeing benefits in some of the correction my HOH sees I need to make.

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?  He likes seeing my butt glow I think.....Does he get off on it?  I dont think so, but he does enjoy after it when I feel like I melt into him and I am at his mercy and he has taken away my pride and spanks me back into submission, and vulnerable to him.

When is the last time you got spanked?  Embarrassing corner time and yes spanking.

Have you ever spanked yourself?  No.

What is the worst thing about being spanked?  Pulling down my panties in front of my husband.   Its embarrassing and then bending over.   However again, this DOES serve a STRONG purpose!  Submissive, feminine, vulnerable and remembering our roles.

How long does the spanking last? It varies, tho they seem to be getting longer and harder.

Do you like to be spanked?  See above.

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?  Both!!!!  No doubt!  I have to have rules as HOH and I have figured out, it is important in our marriage..... However Im always breakin them it seems........... but slowly.......... things are getting better and Im learning..... Discipline has helped a lot.....  and the connection we share.......

ouch!

Ok.... So last night I really messed up!

Yikes and Ouch!

Last night was maintenance which we agreed we would do for the next few days because there has been some distancing, mainly from me. 

Plus I didn't get everything done on my chore list. 

After the maintenance I was crying!   He gave me a few minutes to and then I asked to go ahead and do my discipline so we could get it over with.

I am happy to say and proud of myself because I knew it was all coming and so I had the container I bend over in our closest set up with rubber back hair brush, and wooden spoon, and the blind (that opens and closes the blinds) stick ready.   I was just in my T-shirt because I had just got out of the shower and I was waiting for him when he got home. 

Let me tell you --- the rubber brush HURTS! 

Our new way of handling things is working out great for us..... I can not talk while the spanking is happening, and the way we have me positioned he can hold me down.   We have also decided that he will stop when he is ready, that I am not going to know how many smacks.   With doing all that it takes my control away.

Well then last night I got an attitude, but I didn't see it!  I was laughin an playing around, but HOH said that I was being disrespectful even though I was playing around.  He warned me but I still didn't see it.   So back into the closet we went, rubber hair brush again. 

When we came out, I was sittin on the bed and he said he could tell that I still had an attitude. In all honesty I was just playin around with him.  Yet he said I was still disrespectful.  So back into the bathroom we went.  This time instead of our normal spot, I had to bend over the tub and he used the blind rod.   When he was done I was still sassy, and I kinda giggled......... Not meaning to....... So he pulled me back in the closet for another round of the rubber brush.  This time I tried to relax and think about what he was sayin while I was gettin spanked and he just kept spanking and spanking and finally I saw what he was saying.

After that spanking I saw exactly what he was saying.   It took him spanking me a few times to get it into my thick head!!!!!

So, yeah.......... OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 

 

But afterwards.............because he corrected me and helped me. 

We ended up here...............

 

 

 

Hubby knew what I needed!

Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)

But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!

But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance!  Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!  

I asked him why?   He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot.  He saw that I was becoming slowly distant.   And guess what?  He was RIGHT!  I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.  

We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that!   And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!!  But after that something still didnt feel right.   I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance.    I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out.    But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...)  to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do. 

So into our closet once again!   I felt so much better after that!  I need to have NOOOO control!  NONE, that is his job!  

I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me.  He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him.  (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance)  He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is!  I am so thankful!  

I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed!  It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us!   It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.

I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......

What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control?  (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)   

So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD? 
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!

Thanks yall!

~Jane DDLearning

Us! ♥

I love my HOH.....His authority.... His firmness.... Him taking the lead!  His loving care, how he protects me.
I love our DD marriage, TTWD! 

DDLearninginlove: Does it still hurt?

DDLearninginlove: Does it still hurt?: Well................... I didn't get everything I was suppose to get done by the time frame my HOH gave me.   So it was an automatic 6 sm...

Firm email!

Hubby sent me a very firm email this afternoon with what else he expected to get done this afternoon...... Even though I had already gotten my 6 smacks at his office..... He let me know there was more to come.   Well, tonight has not been a good night for me...............and I think he has either forgotten or is allowing me to be 'off the hook' but I am going to remind him b/c its the right thing to do.  

Will post later! 

~Jane DDlearning

Does it still hurt?

Well...................


I didn't get everything I was suppose to get done by the time frame my HOH gave me.   So it was an automatic 6 smacks. 

I had to go to his office for a particular reason and he was alone.   He gave me a choice of gettin my spanking then or later tonight..... I decide THEN because I didn't want to dread it the rest of the day and plus the hair brush wasn't there.  

I told him "Im not gettin bare bottom, what if your boss comes back"  and he told me to not worry about it that everyone was gone for awhile. 

He closes the blinds so nobody could see in................. Down my pants come and panties and I had to lean over his side desk and he used his hand.   It did sting but not nearly as bad as the hair brush. 

I know I have another smack later coming up b/c of something Im not gettin done and it will be with the hair brush. 

He told me today that he is wondering if my tolerance pain is rising.  LOL 

What if thats the case?  Has anyone else had that problem?   If you deal with the pain of the discipline, what else can he do?   What other forms of discipline do yall use?  Or are there other positions that hurt your 'rear' worse than others?   Extra smacks?  

Im not saying we are there yet...... That hair brush HURTS.............. but it did make me start wondering........