TMI? Also update! :)

So here is a TMI question!  :)

What does your HOH do when you are on your period?

HOHs feel free to way in on this subject.

Does your HOH make YOU write down your rules you broke or issues you and your HOH have discussed that are not acceptable behavior for the week?  If so, is discipline administered all at the same time or does he spread it out over the following week?  Or just lump them all together?

Or does your HOH write them down?

Or does your HOH still discipline you while you are on your period?  (spanking, and corner time, all while naked?)  Or over panties?   Or panties just pulled down slightly?
If so, does he make you still undress?  
What if you are wearing a pad?

What is the standard procedure in your home for how your HOH handles it.

I am curious to see how other HOHs handle this.

On a brighter note, hubby said I was doing so good with my submission exercises but he was going to have to find something else creative to "test" my submission.   YIKES!   But I'm glad that I have been doing good!  I don't think he REALLY meant it, but rather joking around. 

Also, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY during one of our submission exercises while he was touching me he rubbed/slid his fingers over my ummmhummm 'rear' hole and I was able to stand still.   He did it on 2 occasions during that one submission exercise and I stood still both times.  I am so private about that area, that hole I always claim is mine!  LOL  (Readers who follow my blog know my issues with this!)  After I let him finally touch me there and not move, I felt so much like I belonged to him.   I finally gave every inch of me to him.   Knowing that he touched me there brought me to another place in submission.  I can not put into words how it made me feel.   I was embarrassed while he had his fingers there, but also felt small and vulnerable to him, I felt his power and the fact that he owns every inch of me and it made me love him and want to submit to him even more.   It is a matter of trust.   Before he slid his fingers there he asked me if I trusted him, and I said yes, and he reminded me that he would never do anything to hurt me.    I have to say that was a very powerful moment for me.   It was very embarrassing, intimate, taking of my pride, the most submission I have felt, feelings of vulnerability, the feeling of his presence of power over me, making me feel soft, making me feminine, trusting him with every inch of my body, protected, loved, cherished, and owned.  So many mixed, wild, emotions and feelings from one (ok 2 that time) touch of such an intimate part of the body, and to me being able to stand still and give that over to my husband is the ultimate act of submission and trust.    (That is NOT to say that when he tries it again I will be able to be still, it will take time because it has taken a long time for these submission exercises for me to finally stand still and submit to him, but when I finally stop fighting him on it and let go the feelings is overwhelming, and you feel relieved)

However with that being said, last night when I was getting a spanking for a rule I broke, when he was rubbing my butt to see how hot it was he pulled my checks apart some and I told him to stop, and well, ummmm, not only did he do it again to prove a point, but I also managed to get my butt beat more.  :(    /sigh    Sooooo while I felt very good about the submission exercise, I mean VERY good about it, I guess that is something we still have to work on.    But that submission exercise and letting him finally put his finger there that one night was a huge step in the right place!   Submission all the way!

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday!

~Jane

Lets talk........................

Lets talk maintenance.

What are your thoughts on it?  What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?

Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind.   I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons.  HOH does it when he feels the need.  I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel. 

I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time.   Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh?   Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also.  Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me!   Crazy, huh? 

BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that.    We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.  

I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation.   If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline.   I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.

I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us.  However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently!   "Women stand up to your husband"  -  "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want"  those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.

I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time.   Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it.   However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline.   So I dunno!  

Thoughts?   What do you do in your marriage?   I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.

HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do. 

 

 

Also, as I have mentioned in a few emails to other DDers.   What do you do if your HOH is not strict enough?   I'm not saying my HOH is not strict enough by any means!  LOL   (HOH if you are reading this which I know you do sometimes - YOU are strict!  LOL  I ♥ You)   I'm curious to see how you ladies handle that?  HOH makes the rules, but does he enforce them without any slack?  Do you wish he was stricter?  Or was firmer?

 

 

 

What other things does your HOH do for discipline? Or Role Affirmation to keep you in a submissive state? 

 

 

We have done:

 

Spanking of course

Corner time

Corner time always has submission exercises

Writing lines

No panties for the day

A few times disciplining  me in a different position that exposes more than I would like

 

Ok!   Hugs to all my DDers!  

 

Jane

 

PS

If you do not agree with any of the above, that is more than fine.   Please refrain from posting ridiculous comments here.  If you don't agree you may simply put that but you don't need to go into the personal attacks because that is just not called for.    Thanks!

 





Did you have a good weekend?

First thing first!  I want to thank the few of you that have sent me some very kind helpful emails!   :)   I will be responding soon!

I hope your family has had a fabulous weekend.   We did!

Sadly tomorrow is Monday and HOH has to go back to work. :(

Question, do any of your write poetry?  I am working on one about DD life.  I will post it when it's done.   I am going to be including it in the ebook!

We have company coming over in a bit and hubby has already threatened to take me back to our bedroom and spank me if I get to a point that he doesn't like.  Yikes!!    Well, that ain't going to happen!  Ha!  I'm not getting in trouble and take the chance of them hearing!

Well, another beautiful weekend!  

((Hugs))

Jane

Thoughts on the Draw to Domestic Discipline: Why Do I Want to be Punished?

Interesting article I found somewhere that is so informative! 

This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.

  
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”

“Why would I want to spank my wife?”

Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that." 

We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with. 

There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.

But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved. 

Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.

A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.

Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.  

Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?

We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.

Update on TTWD/DD - Thoughts????

We have been very busy lately. 

 

I have been bratting and owner couldn't do anything about it because of our circumstances we've had.

 

It got to a point the other day that I told him that I was done with DD.   Not a good idea!  By the time he got home, I was a bit more kind and told him I was sorry, and I was.   However, while I craved it, I was also trying to get out of it.

 

Due to the lack of consistency, even though I said I was sorry, he went through with what he said he was going to do. 

 

So in the closet I go, forced to undress and bend over. We don't usually do over the knee because we don't have the space in our closet, so it's me on the floor on my knees bent over. (There are times that we go outside to the car in our garage and use the back seat and I am bent over his knees that way) He usually spreads my legs and this last time told me I could not arch my back which made my butt stand out more which I hated.  5 minutes of spanking!  Then I stand up and he sees I still have an attitude, which I did.  I don't know why!  We figure its because the longer we go without any discipline or just maintenance my attitude returns and I forget or push to take control.  Or its just me simply bratting because I know I need it.

 

 

Because of having an attitude still that meant corner time.  Again this is where we practice submission and take away my pride.  I always end up getting spanked a few times because I can never stay still as he touches me.   Its a form of humiliation, not in a bad way, but in a way of remembering that I belong to him and submit to him and obey. 

 

After awhile of me still moving he had me bent back over and spanking my butt again.  After that I told him I was ready to try and be still and submit.

 

I finally stood still and he told me I was being a good girl and "he wants to inspect what belongs to him."

 

"It might be between your legs but it belongs to me"

 

 

 

We do NOT believe in butt plugs and feel it has no place in a DD life style, even in D/s. Though he has joked about enemas before. Umm, NO!  While I would have no control because he is my owner, I would die of embarrassment and would put up a fight. One time he had me grab my ankles and that was so humiliating, because he had my legs spread and everything in view.   However there are times when I am over his knee (when in the car)  or bent over on the floor he will spread my checks and that is horrible! I always squirm and tell him to quit.  Not a good idea! Humiliating! HATE IT!

 

 

 

For you women out there, do you find that you ever crave, or need to feel your rear red?   Do you find that you need it?  Almost like you need the pain on your rear to feel your owners authority over you? 

 

At times I feel like I need to feel the pain, but its a knowing of my owner taking me and putting me in my place and showing me his authority and controlling me.

 

After reading about some things, I feel like at times I am manipulating him into spanking me.  Bratting! I know I am because I feel its what I need. 

 

I also want him to feel his power, his control over me.  I want him to know that he has complete control over me and enjoy his power and authority over me.  I know he does in some respects because he likes to see my rear RED!  A red bottom is a happy husband!

 

Anyone else feel that way? 

 

~Jane

Thank you all!!!

I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog.  As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions.  Is this normal, is that normal?  Should I feel this way?  Is it working? 

At times I doubt it and myself.   At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it.   Sometimes it's confusing!

For us, it has saved our marriage!   We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things. 

It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place.   We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.  

I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!  

But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come. 

Maintenance makes me get an attitude? Anyone else? Looking for answers!

Does anyone find that things are going good then it's time for maintenance and then you get in trouble?  We can have a great day and then it's time for maintenance and then while I am in a humiliating position or getting a spanking I get mad!  When he is done is always asks me how I feel and I get like this......
 

I get an attitude and I don't know why!!! 

From there it is a slippery slope!!!

 

 

After he sees that I am heading down this slippery slope. The picture below describes it.

 

 

 

 

 

Below is the position 95% of the time he has me in when we are in our "spanking area" It's sucks!  It allows him more access to the back of my lower thigh, my sit spot!  He does 

and will and has taken me over his knees and sometime he does for warm up and then I'm in this position. 

 

However he has figured out some new things, new positions that he likes to spank in and is very, very  humiliating!!

"Bend over and grab your ankles"  WTH?  Talk about embarrassing and humiliation!  He will have me just stand there like that.  So embarrassing!  However when I'm in this position I also get a spanking, and then usually followed up by above position to finish up.

While he has started with is this new horrible, humiliating postion in the picture above, he still uses his old fall back of standard corner time.  Naked, legs spread, and hands on the back of my head.  I can't be still in any position and is usually while I get spanked.  I know its a matter of letting go of pride, and dignity and therefore attitude adjustment or just the simple reminder of my place in our family and who runs things, reminding me that I'm his.  For the life of me I can not be still when his hands start moving around or he tells me to be still, yet his hands can move all over me while we are making love. 

 

 I think it has to do again with the pride of being made to do it, obedience and submission and that wooden spoon wondering around my butt!  LOL After a few spankings he will ask me if I want to make him happy and if I'm going to be obedient and submissive and a good girl.  My answer is always YES because I do.   But I always have attitude, always.  Though I can be fine when going in for maintenance its just I get this sudden attitude and pissy.  However, after a few sound spankings for moving, and him turning me around and giving me a fair chance and asking me how I feel, I have a wall up.  He then puts me  back in position or ANOTHER more embarrassing position,  and for some reason at that point, AFTER all that, I START then letting go.  Don't ask why because I don't know why.   Like right now I know I am getting maintenance tonight and it will be spanking and some sort of humiliating position (with everything that comes with being in that position) and I dreading it yet I'm not pissed or mad about it and deep down (though I've already complained to my owner about it and tried to get out of it) I know its needed.   However, I also know that while I'm dreading it now, I will be fine walking into our "discipline area" but the moment he makes me take my clothes off and I get spanked I will get mad and this will take time after time of spanking and humiliation before after awhile something will click and I will be obedient and submissive and do as I'm told. I will let go of my dignity and pride and give it to my owner.   I KNOW he loves me and I think that's why I can do this eventually, its just the initial being pissed off.  Even when I know logically its for the best, I guess its just my natural reaction to put up that wall and give attitude because my butt is hurting and I'm embarrassed.

 

 

Truth be told and I hate to say it, probably what is MOST effective with me is humiliation.  The worse the position, the more effective it is because I lose pride faster and dignity.  The picture below is a position that I think would be the ultimate humiliation. (other than the enemas and "butt" stuff everyone talks about - I would cry so hard of humiliation and embarrassment! )  But grabbing my ankles is pretty close to the below picture and makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide!  But yet so is regular corner time that was described above.  They are all embarrassing! YIKES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spankings are very humiliating also and I think when my butt starts hurting that's when I get mad and get attitude and put up a wall.   He has to spank me several times for me to get in the right frame of mind to except it.  Once I do, I truly do except it.   But he has gone from someone who was scared to spank me with only 4 tiny swats, to beating and reddening my butt and love seeing it red!  He has taken on the attitude in the picture below.  However, on some level I crave them and I know I need them.   I KNOW I do!  Once I have been broken down and I finally submit and let go, it gives me a release and I am so thankful for my owner for keeping up with it.  He knows what's best for me.  He has seen it.   I will admit to at times I have gone back to him and asked him to discipline me again because I didn't accept it the way I should have and that was with submission in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what my loving owner does for me in the picture below. He has to pull back layers, after layers for me to truly submit.  I am getting better in day to day life, I think.   It is a long process and one that is and has paid off but we are constantly learning and I'm sure we will never have it down to an art. 

 

 

 

My owner tells me that when I submit and I'm still and I finally except my maintenance, or discipline or I listen and don't back talk. (or in general just follow rules) that it makes him happy.  He knows its not easy for me and I'm trying.  As I said, I will and have gone back to him and asked for another spanking and corner time so I could submit the correct way, I am willing at times to put myself through another reddening of my butt that is already sore and the humiliation of whatever position he puts me in to accept it the correct way.   That means my submission and putting my full trust in him because I love him and he loves me and takes care of me and protects me.

 

 

 

YET, I still don't understand why I can go in our "spanking area" and I am fine knowing Im getting maintenance (tho dreading it) and then within minutes pissed and mad and I get spanked several times, but after he continues I finally let go and submit to the touching and spankings and I am so grateful to him and feel like I can melt into him.   Logically I know all of this, BUT WHY the initial reaction?  Does anyone else have this issue?

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Long post - rambling

So here I am!  Again!  I hope everyone is doing good!

Over the last week or so I think we figured out that we fit in with not only LDD/ TTWD but also D/s....  

I am the one doing a lot of research on things and my loving owner reads them and applies it as he sees fit. 

He bought a thick spoon about 5 days ago and that spoon hurts!

I got the worse spanking I think Ive ever had a few days ago. I had a bad attitude and was just being disrespectful.  Though I did get all my chores done that day because I knew I was in trouble from the night before.   The closet is usually where I am disciplined in, but he decided we needed more privacy for this spanking.  He told me were going to the basement, and I knew that wasn't good!  He had already told me that I was getting a sound discipline, and again I knew I had it coming.   

We went down to the basement and he told me to strip and took me over his knee and gave me a long hard warm up with the brush.  Then he made me stand up and bend over the chair and then he took his new favorite spanking implement and wore my butt out!   It hurt so bad! 

 Then we came up stairs where I was made to strip again for corner time.    

This is where we practice submission and obedience.  (Submission and obedience is after all what everything stems from in our lifestyle)  I am told to stand still and not move and let him touch me anywhere and however he wants. (Obedience  - "you are going be a good girl and not move? Do you want to make me happy? Then don't move"    Submission - letting go of pride and dignity and letting him touch me where ever and how ever he wants, which also reminds me that I am his)  But if I disobey and squirm even a little I get spanked.   

Well that night while in the corner I got whipped with the belt twice for squirming when he touched me ( yes in vulnerable places  - places that make me lose my pride )   Finally I was able to let go of my pride and let him touch me and belong to him without moving.    When we do this as part of discipline, maintenance, role affirmation, I always end up getting spanked because it takes a lot to let go of that pride and dignity and give it away to my owner.   

Even though I know he loves me and trust him we are living in a world that women are taught that is horrible to "obey" anyone, to have a head of the household and be in submission.  

Are there other ways for submission?  I'm sure there are, but in this kind of situation it is highly effective for us to take away pride and attitude and walls.  Vulnerability needs to set in. 

Spankings hurt and are humiliating!   In our lifestyle we feel and we have seen that humiliation is a big key in DD -D/s loving marriage we have.  To be truly owned you can not have any prideful tendencies as most women do, and having that pride takes you away from submission and in turn obedience. 

My owner also decided the other day due to bring haughty and a bad attitude

(Which I did) that he was going to start using a new position.   I hate, hate it!!!   

A day or so ago I was mouthy and had an attitude again (that's why we have maintenance because I am as most women are, quick to revert back or slip up and usually when I slip up and I'm called out on it, I get mad and it escalates from there) and he pulled me in the closet.  My clothes were removed and the next words out of his mouth horrified me!   "Bend over and grab your ankles" I was shocked and humiliated!  I was resistant but there was no getting out of it.  So I reached down for my ankles then my owner reached down and made me spread my legs.   I was horrified because I was in an embarrassing position, he could see everything and nothing is left to the imagination.  He gave me a few good hard smacks with the spoon and then lectured me about my attitude and that I belong to him.  Then he proceeded with the "submission and obedience" session we do.    

I hate corner time!  (Either in the corner or the new found "bend over and grab your ankles")   It is as embarrassing, if not more embarrassing than when I'm spanked!  Both are horrible, yet understandably needed.   

Being in a truly submissive state makes a woman feel truly like she owned by the man she loves and who loves her.   

Submission either by want or by force IS erotic!  Yes it is discipline, and spankings  hurt badly, its embarrassing and humiliating, and it IS for bad behavior or role affirmation, but regardless of the reason it draws the husband and wife closer.  The husband is SHOWING you his authority of you by his power.  The bond is so much stronger.  I know for any discipline I receive, I hate it and everything that goes with it.  I hate it early on in the day when Ive done something and I know Im getting a spanking and corner time when my owner gets home.  However 99% of the time after Discipline or reinforcement I feel better, I feel closer to my owner.  But by being submissive it draws out more of the woman's softer side, her feminine side, the side of her that is submissive to her owner that she shows respect, obedience, and submission to.  That is what makes it erotic, that closeness you feel and giving yourself over to your owner in heart and body, knowing that he knows you inside and out.   

From my research is not uncommon for women to get "wet" from discipline even when their butt is on fire and they are so embarrassed by the position that are in and they  just want to hide in a hole somewhere.   I know I do and that in of itself is so, so, so humiliating.  My owner can see and feel it and it embarrasses me so much!  He won't let me wipe myself off, he takes a cloth and wipes me because its part of the discipline.   Again, it's part of taking that rotten attitude away, taking that pride away by reminding me that everything I have and my body belongs to him.  Now there is nothing wrong with pride, it just doesn't need to come with attitude and towards your owner.

With all that being said, I am very strong willed, a loud mouth, hard headed and don't listen according to my owner.   I know he has his hands full with me!   You would think with all the spankings and corner time of embarrassment I would learn, it would be a deterrent from my rotten attitude and my sassy mouth.  I think at times it is, because I do think sometimes before I speak, even though he doesn't think so,  but other times I fly off the handle, I don't care and I get this "whatever" attitude.  At that point I realized I crossed a line and I know I'm in trouble so I'm like "so what".  Or one of the biggest things I do, and I don't know how my owner will fix this issue is that I question everything he tells me to do or not do.  Everything!  Plus I grew up in a house and for a good part of our marriage being allowed to get attitude, get my way, be sarcastic, and use a nasty tone of voice, and say what I wanted to say.  There are just some things that are part of my personality.  My owner says he is going to fix that.  LOL 

We have only been with this lifestyle maybe 6 months and hubby went from scared to spank me and backing down from me and my attitude and only giving me 4 little pops with the spoon to a man who has fully embraced this lifestyle, a man who doesn't put up with any crap and gives me to do list that has to be done, rules, and will redden my butt so bad and put me in corner time and shows me his authority over me.  He shows me that I belong to him, and that I'm allowed to be a strong woman with life but when its all said and done all decisions and how things are done, my well-being, and my body is his to do as he wishes.   

For me being a "brat" my entire life, this is taken some getting used to, hence why I always in trouble. (I can't catch a break because if I'm not in trouble for bad behavior, or not showing respect.... So forth and so on.... There is role affirmation of maintenance) 

I wish we would have found this lifestyle early on in our marriage!  It has made us closer! It has made life easier.  You can't have two people running a household.  One has to run it and the other do as they are told to make everything run easier in life.  

Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?

 

 

It has been awhile since I've posted here!  I hope everyone is doing great! 

 

 Things have been going well!   We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD. 

 

When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage! 

 

Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!

 

Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about. 

 

What is the difference between DD and D/s? 

 

For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic.   Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on?  Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?

 

Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on?  An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me.  To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.)  The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive)  For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline.  However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating.  Does that happen to anyone else?  Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority. 

 

That also goes for corner time.  I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person.  Embarrassing!  So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.

 

*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me.  When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings. 

 

Is this degrading to what DD is about?  TTWD?  LDD?  Does this happen to other women?

 

Or does this qualify as D/s????? 

 

Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come!  I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things!  Thank you!

 

~Jane

I've been staying in trouble! :(

I can't even begin to tell you how many spankings I have gotten!

Yesterday I started with gettin sassy in a text message and his response was "Panties off NOW".... /sigh  Plus the last 2 days prior to that Ive been havin to write lines......

Last night HOH had me do corner time, panties dropped to the floor and he makes sure my shirt is up high enough and if its not he comes and spanks my rear and pulls it up again, he seems to want my butt on display as much as it can be.......... Then I got discipline for having a "wall" up and being distant...... and then for havin a bratty attitude the night before, then I got maintence. 

He told me Im getting maintence every night until further notice. 

Then this morning I still had a wall up and because of that and for some other reason he had me in the closet, panties down with the hair brush.   :(   

Then when we came back to bed he said I still had a attitude and I did....... and I told him that he is still leaving me in control.  He was quiet for a few mins, and then he said "You know what, you are not in control anymore."  He grabbed me by my wrist firmly took me again into the closet, told me to pull down my panties in a firm voice and this time gave me a good hard sound spanking that I had no control over, I didn't know when he was going to stop even tho I was starting to move around.  After he was done, still in a firm voice, he told me to pull my panties up and took me again firmly by the wrist and walked me to the bed and told me to get back in bed.   I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said "you can in a little bit." So after we talked for a few more minutes he asked me if I really had to go to the bathroom again, and I was doomed!  Because I didn't really have to go, it was my way of still acting out, I guess.   So because of lying to show out, even though I was acting alot better, another trip into the closet and I got it with the hair brush AGAIN! 

He then informed me that NOW we are doing maintenance in the morning and at night.

However we are seeing HUGE improvement though!!!!!!!!  The other day I finally got EVERYTHING on my chore list done, and in the time fame he wanted them done!   I was so proud of myself and he was proud of me also!    Finally I was able to stick to a schedule, and work on my time managment.

Even after this mornings spanking(s)....... Im in for more tonight because I have already broke one rule which is discipline which mean a spanking and corner time..... and then maintenance.   

My poor red glowing butt!   But I wouldn't change a thing!   DD has brought us so much closer!  It is helping me in so many areas of my life and our marriage.   The only thing I would change is hubby  gettin more firm with me, and I want him to be!   I love him so much for that!   I NEED that! Yet, he is very loving and always kissing me and holding me.......  

Jane   ~~~ Madly in love with Tarzan

Why is it?

Can someone explain to me, which I have a strong idea myself and from things Ive read, but I would like others thoughts..............Can someone explain why if the HOH of the house makes me stand in the corner naked, legs spread apart and hand on your head after and/or during the spanking for a break it has such a power effect?   It is a turn on, yes.... but also very embarrassing.  Why is it you feel so much more submissive tho?   Its like a package deal?

Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying?    Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......

Can anyone explain these to me?  

I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else?   Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!!  Please! 

~Jane

I am in big trouble for tonight. But I deserve it!

I feel so bad!   I will take any discipline that my HOH feels I need! 

Today it was all fine.... We were joking around on the phone and then, still while joking, out of my mouth comes, "You freaking Son of a B****" and as soon as it came out of my mouth I was shocked!!!!!!! 

I right away told him I was sorry!!!!! 

He said I am in trouble when he gets home.  He understands I was playing around but still it was disrespectful.  

But we have gotten so close that I am actually NOT dreading this spanking, rather I deserve it and welcome it! 

Before DD I would not have cared that I said that, that it was wrong.   But today was the first day that I actually feel bad that I disrepected him and called him that even though I was playing around and obviously did not mean it!  

I feel TERRIBLE!!  

I told him many times how sorry I was and then sent him an email.   I am NOT trying to get out of discipline at all, instead I deserve every bit of it and I am going to try my best to not move and like last night while being spanked think really hard about why I am being spanked. 

Tarzan, if you are reading this, again I am so sorry!  So sorry!

Please discipline me accordingly because I deserve it!  I deserve the worse discipline that I've had yet!  Writing lines, spanking, corner time, spanking again... Whatever YOU feel is needed as you have 100% control of me because I am yours.   I feel horrible and I NEVER EVER want to slip up like that again.   I am so sorry! 

I love you Tarzan!

Yours forever,
Jane DDlearning

Hubby knew what I needed!

Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)

But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!

But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance!  Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!  

I asked him why?   He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot.  He saw that I was becoming slowly distant.   And guess what?  He was RIGHT!  I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.  

We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that!   And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!!  But after that something still didnt feel right.   I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance.    I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out.    But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...)  to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do. 

So into our closet once again!   I felt so much better after that!  I need to have NOOOO control!  NONE, that is his job!  

I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me.  He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him.  (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance)  He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is!  I am so thankful!  

I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed!  It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us!   It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.

I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......

What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control?  (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)   

So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD? 
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!

Thanks yall!

~Jane DDLearning

Does it still hurt?

Well...................


I didn't get everything I was suppose to get done by the time frame my HOH gave me.   So it was an automatic 6 smacks. 

I had to go to his office for a particular reason and he was alone.   He gave me a choice of gettin my spanking then or later tonight..... I decide THEN because I didn't want to dread it the rest of the day and plus the hair brush wasn't there.  

I told him "Im not gettin bare bottom, what if your boss comes back"  and he told me to not worry about it that everyone was gone for awhile. 

He closes the blinds so nobody could see in................. Down my pants come and panties and I had to lean over his side desk and he used his hand.   It did sting but not nearly as bad as the hair brush. 

I know I have another smack later coming up b/c of something Im not gettin done and it will be with the hair brush. 

He told me today that he is wondering if my tolerance pain is rising.  LOL 

What if thats the case?  Has anyone else had that problem?   If you deal with the pain of the discipline, what else can he do?   What other forms of discipline do yall use?  Or are there other positions that hurt your 'rear' worse than others?   Extra smacks?  

Im not saying we are there yet...... That hair brush HURTS.............. but it did make me start wondering........

 

Since we are new to LDD, TTWD lifestyle....... Can anyone offer any tips for me as being a submissive wife, and then also for HOH as being the head of our house.   He has has always been the head but I have always lacked respect.  (tho now I have a new founded respect for him)  Any tips you can give us to contine to make this work will be great!   So far these past few weeks has been an amazing journey and has drawn us so much closer together. 

 

 

Is there any advice you can offer to help me to be more submissve and know my role, and offer HOH to help keep me under control?

 

We are still full of questions, and still learning so much.  We are still reading and trying to apply bits and pieces to our LDD marriage.  As the weeks are going by we are finding our way in TTWD. 

 

But there are so many questions!  I guess on this road we are traveling we will find our way.  Last night the reason I got so many smacks is b/c I kept giggling.  He was smacking me hard and it hurt!!!!!  BAD!!!!   So what happens if it stops havin an effect on me?  What if I don't learn to be more submissive?  I want to!!!!  I want this to work b/c I can not say it enough, the love my husband and I share now is stronger than ever!   He sent me a revised list of rules today and they are firm and it made me proud of him, it made me feel taken care of, loved, protected, precious, and valued in his eyes. 

 

He is becoming very firm in his role!  And I love that about him, Im afraid tho I am going to be a bit of a challeng!  I want to be submissive, I always have!  I need someone to hold me accountable! I need and want someone to correct me and take away my control.  But I am also a wild, sassy mouth, attitude filled, sarcastic, outspoken, lack of respect, brat at times.   I get very moody and I will throw a wall up VERY fast and I will start pushing him away and sometimes I know why, and other times I don't know why.  Once I got that wall up, it is hard to break down!

 

 

~Jane DDLearning   

Can anyone explain?

Punishment is painful!  It hurts!   Its embarrassing......................... But why is it that some submissive wives feel a release?  It helps with the stress?  It helps you refocus?  It is the the oddest thing??????

Anyone?????

HOH believes that at times I am pushing him into spanking me by my attitude? 

~Jane DDLearning

Love! ♥ My HOH loves me enough to take me in hand.

Putting LDD in our marriage is the best thing we have EVER done!!!!!!!  EVER!

Granted since we have started putting this in our marriage I have gotten punished just about every night for the exception of one night.  

One night it was 12 with the hair brush, bare bottom...... 6 of them I had to pull my down my panties and it was in the closet that I had to bend over.......   Which is so embarrassing!  Then the other was after my shower that night...... Just had to get out dry off and over his knee.......

I have been under so much stress lately and the other night I had a huge attitude and he decided I needed an attitude adjustment and he gave it to me.............. but that wasn't enough......... He had to do it again....... The next time it was harder but it was that 2nd time around that made the difference.   It hurt very badly, but it put me back in focus.................... it was a RELEASE!  It made me take my wall down -- or rather he took it down!  The embarrassment of havin to pull down my panties and bend over and having my ass whiped and it hurting totally made me refocus, took my wall down, and it allowed me to cry after the 2nd round....... emotionally it does something to me. 

I love him so much for doing this!   Last night for the first time he decided that I needed a maintenance spanking (the first time!)  and it was bare bottom again with his hand, 4 smacks..... but then I got sassy, and it was 2 more with the spoon............ then 4 more with the wooden spoon..... I got even more sassy and was told when I got out of the shower there was no need to put on any clothes..............I had to go to the closet and got 6 more smacks but with the hairbrush.......... OUCH!!!!!!!!  But I needed it! 

I admit, my hubby has his hands full with me!  I am hard to handle!   VERY hard to handle..... I am stubborn, hard headed, sassy, and fly off the handle........

Plus just bad habits I have..........................  Geez!    It all builds up stress in me! 

And regardless of the reason Im spanked, either for punishment or because he feels like I need a good maintenance just to reinforce his love for me and to keep me focused, and show his authority........ I THANK HIM and LOVE HIM, and RESPECT HIM!

As we get further into LDD in our marriage he is getting alot more comfortable with things....... with inforcing his rules and what he expects...... being firm........ which I NEED..... and just "seeing" when I need a good spankin b/c he can see where my attitude is heading and Im about to put up a wall, or just need a stress relief........ I LOVE THIS MAN so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My HOH takes care of me!!!!    ♥♥♥

~Jane DDlearning