I'm here but don't know what to say........

I'm here and I don't know what to say.

This lifestyle works for us!  Every time we implement it, it works! 

Then somehow we get off track.

When we do I start feeling unbalanced.   I find myself not paying attention to the rules that were ONCE there, and letting my mind wonder and not respecting my HOH as much.  

I don't like this.

I have brought it back up to my HOH but I hate being the one to bring it up.   :(

Does anyone feel the need to have TiH, DD, CDD, LDD lifestyle to feel like you BELONG to your HOH? 

Maybe it's because of some past, recent issues I have been dealing with but I need that foundation, structure, feeling secure and like I belong to someone and they are going to protect me.

I have done so much research on this lifestyle and even though we KNOW it works for us, why can't we stick to it? 

We do good for months and then slip.

I was just about to write an ebook on it to help other couples starting out on this lifestyle, and that is still what I want to do.

With the above questions, how do you feel about the feeling of belonging to him?

~Jane   (Sorry I have been MIA)

We test our HOH sometimes to see if they will stand their ground, but sometimes I think we are testing ourselves.

Dear Readers,   (a little different opening, huh? :) )

Most of us women in a DD marriage, (TiH) find at some point or another we test our HOH to see really who is STILL in control.   We want them to stand up to us and not let us walk all over them.

However I was thinking about this also, I believe at times I am really testing myself to see if I will actually submit in the quiet, sweet way that I should. 

There are times that I want to fight him on it. 

The way he has me positioned most of the time is on all fours with my legs spread and butt pushed out some.   I admit that sometimes, more often than not, I start arching my back trying to pull my butt down so it isn't just out there. 

At first its about the pain of the spanking but then at some point during the spanking I tell myself that I need to stop moving and be still and submit the way I should.   Granted this doesn't happen all the time. 

There have been times that after a spanking or corner time that I actually went back and asked him to redo it because I didn't feel like I submitted the way I should have, because I was either moving or giving him a hard time in some form.   The next time he does the repeat I try my hardest to be still and submit 110%!   I try not to move or anything. 

So I do think at times I a testing myself by testing him.    If I test him and he bites back I know what I got coming to me and it is a way for me to see if I am going to submit quietly the way I should.

We have blanket consent so it doesn't really matter, but I want to submit the way I should.  

Just something interesting I thought about and wanted to share. 

Jane

Lets talk........................

Lets talk maintenance.

What are your thoughts on it?  What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?

Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind.   I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons.  HOH does it when he feels the need.  I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel. 

I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time.   Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh?   Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also.  Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me!   Crazy, huh? 

BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that.    We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.  

I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation.   If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline.   I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.

I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us.  However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently!   "Women stand up to your husband"  -  "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want"  those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.

I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time.   Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it.   However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline.   So I dunno!  

Thoughts?   What do you do in your marriage?   I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.

HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do. 

 

 

Also, as I have mentioned in a few emails to other DDers.   What do you do if your HOH is not strict enough?   I'm not saying my HOH is not strict enough by any means!  LOL   (HOH if you are reading this which I know you do sometimes - YOU are strict!  LOL  I ♥ You)   I'm curious to see how you ladies handle that?  HOH makes the rules, but does he enforce them without any slack?  Do you wish he was stricter?  Or was firmer?

 

 

 

What other things does your HOH do for discipline? Or Role Affirmation to keep you in a submissive state? 

 

 

We have done:

 

Spanking of course

Corner time

Corner time always has submission exercises

Writing lines

No panties for the day

A few times disciplining  me in a different position that exposes more than I would like

 

Ok!   Hugs to all my DDers!  

 

Jane

 

PS

If you do not agree with any of the above, that is more than fine.   Please refrain from posting ridiculous comments here.  If you don't agree you may simply put that but you don't need to go into the personal attacks because that is just not called for.    Thanks!

 





Did you have a good weekend?

First thing first!  I want to thank the few of you that have sent me some very kind helpful emails!   :)   I will be responding soon!

I hope your family has had a fabulous weekend.   We did!

Sadly tomorrow is Monday and HOH has to go back to work. :(

Question, do any of your write poetry?  I am working on one about DD life.  I will post it when it's done.   I am going to be including it in the ebook!

We have company coming over in a bit and hubby has already threatened to take me back to our bedroom and spank me if I get to a point that he doesn't like.  Yikes!!    Well, that ain't going to happen!  Ha!  I'm not getting in trouble and take the chance of them hearing!

Well, another beautiful weekend!  

((Hugs))

Jane

So we meet again wooden spoon!

Well HOH caught me coming out of the shower still wet and I got 6 minutes with the thick wooden spoon.     After it was done he asked me to do something and I told him no, (why did I do that??? I mean I was still standing here naked!!!) and he told me to bend over for another minute with the spoon! He wanted me to come look at my butt to enforce the discipline but I didn't want to.     Tonight is another 6 minutes and Thursday is 7 minutes.    I don't mean to be disrespectful - it just happens! Right now I'm being disciplined big time for being very disrespectful a few days back!  I got to learn to keep mouth in check! 

Sore bottom,
Jane

 

 

 

Long blog, sorry.

So I posted a few days ago about what was coming up today, "the big spanking" for disrespect. He wanted to wait on Tuesday (today) because of my period.  Well I talked to HOH a few days ago and asked him if he would please break it up over a few days, and he said he would think about it.   He finally told me that he would break it up for me. That disrespect the other day earned me 21 minutes, and not an easy 21 minutes. (that's not including anything I might get in trouble for)  He told me I wouldn't be able to sit for a week.   (That was when he was going to do it all on Tuesday.)

Plus, this spanking has been coming for a few days from when I acted disrespectful, and I feel bad for the disrespect.  It has just been lingering over my head, I felt/feel bad, and I needed to submit.  I needed some sort of discipline to start easing the guilt for my actions, to show him that I respect him and his power over me.  So I sent him some text messages explaining that.  I told him I would submit to any discipline action, no matter how humiliating and to please not wait until Tuesday. 

So last night I was working out and wasn't home, and that part was fine.  However we also had unexpected/expected (at the last minute) company last night.  So I come home, still sweaty and my back end cold and instantly he takes me into the other room and knew it was for some sort of discipline.  I kept telling him I needed a shower first and he said he knew that.  That didn't stop him, because of my text messages  and also due to the circumstances of having company, he was going to go through with giving me some sort of discipline. Which I am grateful to him for.   He told me to pull down my pants and panties ( because of limited time he didn't make me fully undress) and bend over.  (which I did, there was something in front of me to grab)  He took that wooden spoon and for 2 minutes gave me a good, hard, solid, deserved spanking. I think about 30 seconds into it I was crying because it hurt.  I kept reminding myself that it was deserved and it was for my disrespect and he didn't deserve that from me and that this is some of my discipline for it.  

So that took 2 minutes off of my 21 so far for the week.  So if I can manage to keep my mouth shut and follow the rules I have 19 minutes left for the disrespect.  

I have to say that I truly, with all my heart, love our DD, TiH, TTWD lifestyle/relationship.

It changes who each of us are in our relationship.  He is more dominant now than ever, (even before we fell off the wagon for a few months and restarted a few weeks ago) and I am more submissive and each day we are growing more and more into our roles.    We know our roles, we know who we are in our marriage.   It makes for a peaceful household, but also makes up so much more closer.

Yes, should I be submissive anyway?  Do I need the threaten of a spanking or whatever humiliating discipline he comes up with to "fit the infraction?"  Do I need this lifestyle to respect him?   The answer to these questions are yes, and no.

Yes I want to be submissive, but no its not easy.  Today we live in a world that women have to act equal and we simply are not.   That doesn't mean we are "lower" or a doormat, it means that the HOH  makes the rules and we abide by them.   

Do I need a threaten of a spanking?  Yes.  Because again we live in a world that forces it down your  throat to not answer to anyone.  So yes I need the threat of a spanking or some sort of discipline to keeps me in check reminding me that I do have someone to answer to, and that is my HOH.   I know my husband loves me enough to make sure that happens. 

I respect my HOH with or without this lifestyle.   However, my respect for my HOH grew by leaps and bounds when we started this lifestyle a year ago.  Then when we fell off the wagon for a couple of months, it was still there but not as strong, but still there nonetheless.   Now that we are back full force with our lifestyle, and that respect for him as a man, my owner, the HOH is deeper and stronger than it has EVER been.  

I love him more and more, and feel closer to him than ever.  I am his, and he takes care of me.  He loves me for everything that I am, and I love him!   I am not easy to handle, I am strong willed, sarcastic, and sassy, so his job is not easy, but he does it. 

So tonight it's 5-7 minutes of spanking for just that, and I hope I don't get into any other trouble or it will be longer, and this time we don't have any company so I know it will be worse.  I know it will be the entire spanking process, undressing and getting into position. 

While I am dreading it big time, (so dreading it)  I am also thankful for it because I want this discipline to go away along with that episode of horrible disrespect.  Once the final 21 minutes is over this week then I can stop feeling guilty about acting horrible to my HOH........until next time I run off at the mouth. 

I am the sort of person that runs off at the mouth first before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble, along with time management.    With that being said, I need to close out this blog before I get into more trouble. 

~Jane

Thoughts on the Draw to Domestic Discipline: Why Do I Want to be Punished?

Interesting article I found somewhere that is so informative! 

This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.

  
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”

“Why would I want to spank my wife?”

Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that." 

We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with. 

There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.

But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved. 

Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.

A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.

Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.  

Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?

We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.

Thank you all!!!

I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog.  As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions.  Is this normal, is that normal?  Should I feel this way?  Is it working? 

At times I doubt it and myself.   At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it.   Sometimes it's confusing!

For us, it has saved our marriage!   We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things. 

It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place.   We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.  

I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!  

But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come. 

Long post - rambling

So here I am!  Again!  I hope everyone is doing good!

Over the last week or so I think we figured out that we fit in with not only LDD/ TTWD but also D/s....  

I am the one doing a lot of research on things and my loving owner reads them and applies it as he sees fit. 

He bought a thick spoon about 5 days ago and that spoon hurts!

I got the worse spanking I think Ive ever had a few days ago. I had a bad attitude and was just being disrespectful.  Though I did get all my chores done that day because I knew I was in trouble from the night before.   The closet is usually where I am disciplined in, but he decided we needed more privacy for this spanking.  He told me were going to the basement, and I knew that wasn't good!  He had already told me that I was getting a sound discipline, and again I knew I had it coming.   

We went down to the basement and he told me to strip and took me over his knee and gave me a long hard warm up with the brush.  Then he made me stand up and bend over the chair and then he took his new favorite spanking implement and wore my butt out!   It hurt so bad! 

 Then we came up stairs where I was made to strip again for corner time.    

This is where we practice submission and obedience.  (Submission and obedience is after all what everything stems from in our lifestyle)  I am told to stand still and not move and let him touch me anywhere and however he wants. (Obedience  - "you are going be a good girl and not move? Do you want to make me happy? Then don't move"    Submission - letting go of pride and dignity and letting him touch me where ever and how ever he wants, which also reminds me that I am his)  But if I disobey and squirm even a little I get spanked.   

Well that night while in the corner I got whipped with the belt twice for squirming when he touched me ( yes in vulnerable places  - places that make me lose my pride )   Finally I was able to let go of my pride and let him touch me and belong to him without moving.    When we do this as part of discipline, maintenance, role affirmation, I always end up getting spanked because it takes a lot to let go of that pride and dignity and give it away to my owner.   

Even though I know he loves me and trust him we are living in a world that women are taught that is horrible to "obey" anyone, to have a head of the household and be in submission.  

Are there other ways for submission?  I'm sure there are, but in this kind of situation it is highly effective for us to take away pride and attitude and walls.  Vulnerability needs to set in. 

Spankings hurt and are humiliating!   In our lifestyle we feel and we have seen that humiliation is a big key in DD -D/s loving marriage we have.  To be truly owned you can not have any prideful tendencies as most women do, and having that pride takes you away from submission and in turn obedience. 

My owner also decided the other day due to bring haughty and a bad attitude

(Which I did) that he was going to start using a new position.   I hate, hate it!!!   

A day or so ago I was mouthy and had an attitude again (that's why we have maintenance because I am as most women are, quick to revert back or slip up and usually when I slip up and I'm called out on it, I get mad and it escalates from there) and he pulled me in the closet.  My clothes were removed and the next words out of his mouth horrified me!   "Bend over and grab your ankles" I was shocked and humiliated!  I was resistant but there was no getting out of it.  So I reached down for my ankles then my owner reached down and made me spread my legs.   I was horrified because I was in an embarrassing position, he could see everything and nothing is left to the imagination.  He gave me a few good hard smacks with the spoon and then lectured me about my attitude and that I belong to him.  Then he proceeded with the "submission and obedience" session we do.    

I hate corner time!  (Either in the corner or the new found "bend over and grab your ankles")   It is as embarrassing, if not more embarrassing than when I'm spanked!  Both are horrible, yet understandably needed.   

Being in a truly submissive state makes a woman feel truly like she owned by the man she loves and who loves her.   

Submission either by want or by force IS erotic!  Yes it is discipline, and spankings  hurt badly, its embarrassing and humiliating, and it IS for bad behavior or role affirmation, but regardless of the reason it draws the husband and wife closer.  The husband is SHOWING you his authority of you by his power.  The bond is so much stronger.  I know for any discipline I receive, I hate it and everything that goes with it.  I hate it early on in the day when Ive done something and I know Im getting a spanking and corner time when my owner gets home.  However 99% of the time after Discipline or reinforcement I feel better, I feel closer to my owner.  But by being submissive it draws out more of the woman's softer side, her feminine side, the side of her that is submissive to her owner that she shows respect, obedience, and submission to.  That is what makes it erotic, that closeness you feel and giving yourself over to your owner in heart and body, knowing that he knows you inside and out.   

From my research is not uncommon for women to get "wet" from discipline even when their butt is on fire and they are so embarrassed by the position that are in and they  just want to hide in a hole somewhere.   I know I do and that in of itself is so, so, so humiliating.  My owner can see and feel it and it embarrasses me so much!  He won't let me wipe myself off, he takes a cloth and wipes me because its part of the discipline.   Again, it's part of taking that rotten attitude away, taking that pride away by reminding me that everything I have and my body belongs to him.  Now there is nothing wrong with pride, it just doesn't need to come with attitude and towards your owner.

With all that being said, I am very strong willed, a loud mouth, hard headed and don't listen according to my owner.   I know he has his hands full with me!   You would think with all the spankings and corner time of embarrassment I would learn, it would be a deterrent from my rotten attitude and my sassy mouth.  I think at times it is, because I do think sometimes before I speak, even though he doesn't think so,  but other times I fly off the handle, I don't care and I get this "whatever" attitude.  At that point I realized I crossed a line and I know I'm in trouble so I'm like "so what".  Or one of the biggest things I do, and I don't know how my owner will fix this issue is that I question everything he tells me to do or not do.  Everything!  Plus I grew up in a house and for a good part of our marriage being allowed to get attitude, get my way, be sarcastic, and use a nasty tone of voice, and say what I wanted to say.  There are just some things that are part of my personality.  My owner says he is going to fix that.  LOL 

We have only been with this lifestyle maybe 6 months and hubby went from scared to spank me and backing down from me and my attitude and only giving me 4 little pops with the spoon to a man who has fully embraced this lifestyle, a man who doesn't put up with any crap and gives me to do list that has to be done, rules, and will redden my butt so bad and put me in corner time and shows me his authority over me.  He shows me that I belong to him, and that I'm allowed to be a strong woman with life but when its all said and done all decisions and how things are done, my well-being, and my body is his to do as he wishes.   

For me being a "brat" my entire life, this is taken some getting used to, hence why I always in trouble. (I can't catch a break because if I'm not in trouble for bad behavior, or not showing respect.... So forth and so on.... There is role affirmation of maintenance) 

I wish we would have found this lifestyle early on in our marriage!  It has made us closer! It has made life easier.  You can't have two people running a household.  One has to run it and the other do as they are told to make everything run easier in life.  

Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?

 

 

It has been awhile since I've posted here!  I hope everyone is doing great! 

 

 Things have been going well!   We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD. 

 

When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage! 

 

Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!

 

Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about. 

 

What is the difference between DD and D/s? 

 

For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic.   Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on?  Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?

 

Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on?  An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me.  To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.)  The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive)  For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline.  However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating.  Does that happen to anyone else?  Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority. 

 

That also goes for corner time.  I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person.  Embarrassing!  So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.

 

*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me.  When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings. 

 

Is this degrading to what DD is about?  TTWD?  LDD?  Does this happen to other women?

 

Or does this qualify as D/s????? 

 

Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come!  I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things!  Thank you!

 

~Jane

Why is it?

Can someone explain to me, which I have a strong idea myself and from things Ive read, but I would like others thoughts..............Can someone explain why if the HOH of the house makes me stand in the corner naked, legs spread apart and hand on your head after and/or during the spanking for a break it has such a power effect?   It is a turn on, yes.... but also very embarrassing.  Why is it you feel so much more submissive tho?   Its like a package deal?

Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying?    Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......

Can anyone explain these to me?  

I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else?   Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!!  Please! 

~Jane

Spanking Survey I found

SPANKING SURVEY

Have you ever gotten spanked?     YES!

Are you spanked bare bottomed, over panties, or over clothes?  Bare Bottom

What is the best thing about being spanked? It makes me feel loved and cared - it makes me feel submissve and lets my husband exercise his authority over me when Ive done something that needs correcting.  But it also keeps me vulnerable and feminine for the man I trust, it reinforces our roles in our marriage.

What position do you get spanked in?    However, my husband desires to give me a spanking I will submitt.  Usually its me bending all the way over.  Tho I have been OTK, and a few times over the hood of the car in our garage b/c of company.

Have you ever gotten spanked in public? No

What do you get spanked with the most? Rubber Hair Brush

On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?  It varies

Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush? Yes

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?  Yes

Were you spanked as a child? No, not really.

Do you think spanking is fun?  I do at times find it erotic, but when it comes down to pulling down my panties and bending over..... Then its not erotic.

Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket, etc)?  No.

Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?   Yes, maintenance in our household is for many reasons, but one of those reasons is if my HOH decides it just needs to be done just as a reminder or to just put me in a feminine mood, more submissive.  Or flat out just because..... Just b/c he feels its due.

Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher? No

Is your butt spankable?  It must be.
Are you currently in trouble?   Probably, hubby keeps asking me if I did something when he told me to, by a certain time frame and I keep ignoring the question and answering with other things.

Do you get lectured during the spanking? No, not during.  But like last night, he wanted to make sure I knew why.

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked? Not as an adult.

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing? No

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying? No

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument in one spanking session?   Yes.... Hairbrush, wooden spoon, blind rod, and hand

Do you hate spankings?  It is a very strong love/hate relationship with it.  I know I need it, it has helped.  It has made our marriage so much stronger!   It was what we both needed.

How many people spank you? Just my husband.

Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?  I suppose.

Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was purple?  Bruised

Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?  I view it as discipline.  And yes!  However, corner time also sucks.

Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse? Definitely better.

Is your butt red and sore afterwards?  Yes.  HOH likes to see it glow red.



Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker? No

Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?  Yes

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?  Yes.  Ive also asked for maintenance, however HOH usually knows when I need both.
Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?   No.  Is it because Im ashamed?  NO!  But I doubt they would understand.   It not like its a secret, but rather its something private between me and my HOH.

 
Have you ever gotten you butt caned? No.

Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon? Yes.

What do you get spanked for?  Lots of reasons.

On average, how many times a month are you spanked?  Just about every day, or every other day.

Do your friends know that you get spanked?  No

.
On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious,such as speeding?  it varies.  Sometimes not so hard and therefore doesn't have that much of an effect and usually leads to a spanking later.  The harder and longer he goes the more of an impression it makes and resets my thinking and takes away my control and makes me more submissive and vunlnerable to my husband, which makes me for feminine for him and give him the respect he deserves.

Have you ever gotten your butt belted?  No

Have you ever gotten your butt paddled? No

After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offense?  Every day it seems, but slowly, VERY slowly we are seeing benefits in some of the correction my HOH sees I need to make.

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?  He likes seeing my butt glow I think.....Does he get off on it?  I dont think so, but he does enjoy after it when I feel like I melt into him and I am at his mercy and he has taken away my pride and spanks me back into submission, and vulnerable to him.

When is the last time you got spanked?  Embarrassing corner time and yes spanking.

Have you ever spanked yourself?  No.

What is the worst thing about being spanked?  Pulling down my panties in front of my husband.   Its embarrassing and then bending over.   However again, this DOES serve a STRONG purpose!  Submissive, feminine, vulnerable and remembering our roles.

How long does the spanking last? It varies, tho they seem to be getting longer and harder.

Do you like to be spanked?  See above.

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?  Both!!!!  No doubt!  I have to have rules as HOH and I have figured out, it is important in our marriage..... However Im always breakin them it seems........... but slowly.......... things are getting better and Im learning..... Discipline has helped a lot.....  and the connection we share.......

Hubby knew what I needed!

Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)

But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!

But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance!  Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!  

I asked him why?   He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot.  He saw that I was becoming slowly distant.   And guess what?  He was RIGHT!  I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.  

We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that!   And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!!  But after that something still didnt feel right.   I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance.    I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out.    But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...)  to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do. 

So into our closet once again!   I felt so much better after that!  I need to have NOOOO control!  NONE, that is his job!  

I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me.  He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him.  (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance)  He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is!  I am so thankful!  

I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed!  It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us!   It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.

I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......

What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control?  (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)   

So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD? 
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!

Thanks yall!

~Jane DDLearning

How has DDlifestyle helped your marriage?

How has DD helped your marriage?  TTWD?  TiH? 

How do you handle things in your relationship?

How has it help you have a peaceful household?

Lookin forward to hearing yalls comments!

Firm email!

Hubby sent me a very firm email this afternoon with what else he expected to get done this afternoon...... Even though I had already gotten my 6 smacks at his office..... He let me know there was more to come.   Well, tonight has not been a good night for me...............and I think he has either forgotten or is allowing me to be 'off the hook' but I am going to remind him b/c its the right thing to do.  

Will post later! 

~Jane DDlearning

Does it still hurt?

Well...................


I didn't get everything I was suppose to get done by the time frame my HOH gave me.   So it was an automatic 6 smacks. 

I had to go to his office for a particular reason and he was alone.   He gave me a choice of gettin my spanking then or later tonight..... I decide THEN because I didn't want to dread it the rest of the day and plus the hair brush wasn't there.  

I told him "Im not gettin bare bottom, what if your boss comes back"  and he told me to not worry about it that everyone was gone for awhile. 

He closes the blinds so nobody could see in................. Down my pants come and panties and I had to lean over his side desk and he used his hand.   It did sting but not nearly as bad as the hair brush. 

I know I have another smack later coming up b/c of something Im not gettin done and it will be with the hair brush. 

He told me today that he is wondering if my tolerance pain is rising.  LOL 

What if thats the case?  Has anyone else had that problem?   If you deal with the pain of the discipline, what else can he do?   What other forms of discipline do yall use?  Or are there other positions that hurt your 'rear' worse than others?   Extra smacks?  

Im not saying we are there yet...... That hair brush HURTS.............. but it did make me start wondering........

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what my bottom feels like right now!  :(    HOH decided to use the plastic spoon.  Went out to the garage, drop pants and panties and bent over and got my 6 smacks and it hurt!!!!!!  But I told him (my big mouth) that while it hurt bad, it wasn't AS bad as I thought.  So we then went into the closet where once again I had to drop my pants and panties and bend over and got 4 hard smacks with the back of the hair brush!  That crap HURT!!!!!!!!!!!   My bare bottom is on fire!   But he is determined to make me learn my lesson and I thank him so much for that and respect him with all my heart!

This is what I have for my husband!  Gratitude!!  I love him and respect him!  And I will submit to any discipline and I can see that he is getting more use to his role and less tolerant of my behavior.  I love him for that! 

The reason I had a punishment spanking last night.

Monday night I got a punishment spanking because of my attitude! 

Last night I got a punishment spanking for lying/disobience.   On my HOH chore list he had for me to have something done by 10 AM, well I overslept.  He texted me and told me to get up right then and I texted back that I was.  Well an hour passed by and I ignored him and went back to sleep.   Well, that got me in trouble!!!! 

The atticipationn of the spanking was killing me b/c as I mentioned in a previous post I had been finding them erotic, but last night he had me go outside in the garage (we have a family and people in our house) pull down my shorts and panties to my kneese and bend over the car.   He gave me 4 smacks with the wooden spoon, and that last smack stung bad!  Can you say OUCH?  During the spanking I was waitin for the next spank and it was killing me.   You see, I was finding them as a turn on right UP UNTIL it is actually gonna happen!  So when I was told to pull down my shorts and panties thats when I did start regretting it b/c its embarrassing, and then bending over the car with my butt in the air!  GAH!   :/      Each smack hurt worse than the last!  Thankfully he does them pretty fast......  However, if he waits a sec or 2 in between it will probably make it worse.  Which Im already dreading tonights spanking!   Im not finding it very erotic b/c he has already warned me that I will learn to dread them and he will be using more strength behind each smack.    PLUS, being me..... I was out at the store today and tried finding a different spoon.......... One that might not hurt as bad since I knew he was gonna be adding more smacks and spanking harder......... (and I do need him to do that, I NEED TO DREAD them!)   but that wasn't very smart!   After I got home I realized that the flat one is gonna hurt a lot worse!  Plus I also needed a new hair brush b/c I get tons of tangles in my hair so I bought one of those special brushes...... I looked at it when I got home and thought to myself that people actually use hair brushes to spank with...... so I took that hair brush and smack the palm of my hand!!!! Oh HOLY HELL!  That crap hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Im not sure what he is planning on using tonight?  The wooden spoon?  The flat wooden spoon, or the hair brush?   Since he said it was gonna be dreaded and hurt,  Im betting the hair brush!   :(      

After my spanking last night I hugged him and thanked him for my spanking as I always do.  People who do not have a DD marriage do not understand this.   But in this kind of relationship, you are compelled to want to be submissive after a spanking!  It resets your brain and reminds you of your wrongdoing, but also your husband took the lead and you look at him in such a different way.  You totally give yourself to him, and you want him to take you!   Having to go through pulling down your own panties and bending over and having your husband spank you reminds you of your role in the household, but also his!!!!!!!   He is the head, the authority, and what he says goes!   I actually feel a relief and feeling of contentment after my spanking b/c there is also something so personal about it. 

I will never be able to thank my husband enough!  He does not like spanking me and causing me pain, but we both realize that spankings/punishment/humilation/discipline is pain and when done on your bare bottom where it should be done it is not harmeful, yet very, very helpful in many ways!!!!!!   My husband loves me enough to give me all of that, to use his authority over me to correct me, and for bad behavior, disrespect, not listening, dishonesty, for things that are harmful to myself or others, and he knows it also resets me and reminds me of who is really in control in our house and that is my owner, loving HOH!!!!!!   ♥♥♥  

The next time I blog will be after I recieve my "you have been warned its gonna be a spanking you are gonna dread".    So it will either be tonight, or tomorrow before 11Am as that is one of my chores. 

Tarzan will be posting soon. 

~Jane DDLearning ----- soon to be "sore bottom, can't sit down"    (worried and finally dreading it!  :( )  

I thought this was so true!  My heart will never forget how much I love my husband now more than ever!

How much I respect him more than ever!!!!

But I also thought of a different line for that last sentence....  "But red bottoms shouldn't/never forget"  LOL  

Time Management!!!!

Something my HOH is really help me to see that I didn't realize I had such a HUGE problem with also is Time Mangement!  That is what Im being disciplined for tonight.   :(     

I am actually starting to really dread it b/c he said he is gonna make it worse, and it was at my suggestion b/c I want to make him happy.......... and the worse it is the better I may be b/c I will have a sore ass the next day!!!   

:(  


~Jane DDlearning   ----  Soon to be red bottom!   :(      /sigh    


Baby!  Tarzan, I Love you so much!