I'm here and I don't know what to say.
This lifestyle works for us! Every time we implement it, it works!
Then somehow we get off track.
When we do I start feeling unbalanced. I find myself not paying attention to the rules that were ONCE there, and letting my mind wonder and not respecting my HOH as much.
I don't like this.
I have brought it back up to my HOH but I hate being the one to bring it up. :(
Does anyone feel the need to have TiH, DD, CDD, LDD lifestyle to feel like you BELONG to your HOH?
Maybe it's because of some past, recent issues I have been dealing with but I need that foundation, structure, feeling secure and like I belong to someone and they are going to protect me.
I have done so much research on this lifestyle and even though we KNOW it works for us, why can't we stick to it?
We do good for months and then slip.
I was just about to write an ebook on it to help other couples starting out on this lifestyle, and that is still what I want to do.
With the above questions, how do you feel about the feeling of belonging to him?
~Jane (Sorry I have been MIA)
Showing posts with label authority. Show all posts
Showing posts with label authority. Show all posts
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
TMI? Also update! :)
So here is a TMI question! :)
What does your HOH do when you are on your period?
HOHs feel free to way in on this subject.
Does your HOH make YOU write down your rules you broke or issues you and your HOH have discussed that are not acceptable behavior for the week? If so, is discipline administered all at the same time or does he spread it out over the following week? Or just lump them all together?
Or does your HOH write them down?
Or does your HOH still discipline you while you are on your period? (spanking, and corner time, all while naked?) Or over panties? Or panties just pulled down slightly?
If so, does he make you still undress?
What if you are wearing a pad?
What is the standard procedure in your home for how your HOH handles it.
I am curious to see how other HOHs handle this.
On a brighter note, hubby said I was doing so good with my submission exercises but he was going to have to find something else creative to "test" my submission. YIKES! But I'm glad that I have been doing good! I don't think he REALLY meant it, but rather joking around.
Also, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY during one of our submission exercises while he was touching me he rubbed/slid his fingers over my ummmhummm 'rear' hole and I was able to stand still. He did it on 2 occasions during that one submission exercise and I stood still both times. I am so private about that area, that hole I always claim is mine! LOL (Readers who follow my blog know my issues with this!) After I let him finally touch me there and not move, I felt so much like I belonged to him. I finally gave every inch of me to him. Knowing that he touched me there brought me to another place in submission. I can not put into words how it made me feel. I was embarrassed while he had his fingers there, but also felt small and vulnerable to him, I felt his power and the fact that he owns every inch of me and it made me love him and want to submit to him even more. It is a matter of trust. Before he slid his fingers there he asked me if I trusted him, and I said yes, and he reminded me that he would never do anything to hurt me. I have to say that was a very powerful moment for me. It was very embarrassing, intimate, taking of my pride, the most submission I have felt, feelings of vulnerability, the feeling of his presence of power over me, making me feel soft, making me feminine, trusting him with every inch of my body, protected, loved, cherished, and owned. So many mixed, wild, emotions and feelings from one (ok 2 that time) touch of such an intimate part of the body, and to me being able to stand still and give that over to my husband is the ultimate act of submission and trust. (That is NOT to say that when he tries it again I will be able to be still, it will take time because it has taken a long time for these submission exercises for me to finally stand still and submit to him, but when I finally stop fighting him on it and let go the feelings is overwhelming, and you feel relieved)
However with that being said, last night when I was getting a spanking for a rule I broke, when he was rubbing my butt to see how hot it was he pulled my checks apart some and I told him to stop, and well, ummmm, not only did he do it again to prove a point, but I also managed to get my butt beat more. :( /sigh Sooooo while I felt very good about the submission exercise, I mean VERY good about it, I guess that is something we still have to work on. But that submission exercise and letting him finally put his finger there that one night was a huge step in the right place! Submission all the way!
I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday!
~Jane
What does your HOH do when you are on your period?
HOHs feel free to way in on this subject.
Does your HOH make YOU write down your rules you broke or issues you and your HOH have discussed that are not acceptable behavior for the week? If so, is discipline administered all at the same time or does he spread it out over the following week? Or just lump them all together?
Or does your HOH write them down?
Or does your HOH still discipline you while you are on your period? (spanking, and corner time, all while naked?) Or over panties? Or panties just pulled down slightly?
If so, does he make you still undress?
What if you are wearing a pad?
What is the standard procedure in your home for how your HOH handles it.
I am curious to see how other HOHs handle this.
On a brighter note, hubby said I was doing so good with my submission exercises but he was going to have to find something else creative to "test" my submission. YIKES! But I'm glad that I have been doing good! I don't think he REALLY meant it, but rather joking around.
Also, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY during one of our submission exercises while he was touching me he rubbed/slid his fingers over my ummmhummm 'rear' hole and I was able to stand still. He did it on 2 occasions during that one submission exercise and I stood still both times. I am so private about that area, that hole I always claim is mine! LOL (Readers who follow my blog know my issues with this!) After I let him finally touch me there and not move, I felt so much like I belonged to him. I finally gave every inch of me to him. Knowing that he touched me there brought me to another place in submission. I can not put into words how it made me feel. I was embarrassed while he had his fingers there, but also felt small and vulnerable to him, I felt his power and the fact that he owns every inch of me and it made me love him and want to submit to him even more. It is a matter of trust. Before he slid his fingers there he asked me if I trusted him, and I said yes, and he reminded me that he would never do anything to hurt me. I have to say that was a very powerful moment for me. It was very embarrassing, intimate, taking of my pride, the most submission I have felt, feelings of vulnerability, the feeling of his presence of power over me, making me feel soft, making me feminine, trusting him with every inch of my body, protected, loved, cherished, and owned. So many mixed, wild, emotions and feelings from one (ok 2 that time) touch of such an intimate part of the body, and to me being able to stand still and give that over to my husband is the ultimate act of submission and trust. (That is NOT to say that when he tries it again I will be able to be still, it will take time because it has taken a long time for these submission exercises for me to finally stand still and submit to him, but when I finally stop fighting him on it and let go the feelings is overwhelming, and you feel relieved)
However with that being said, last night when I was getting a spanking for a rule I broke, when he was rubbing my butt to see how hot it was he pulled my checks apart some and I told him to stop, and well, ummmm, not only did he do it again to prove a point, but I also managed to get my butt beat more. :( /sigh Sooooo while I felt very good about the submission exercise, I mean VERY good about it, I guess that is something we still have to work on. But that submission exercise and letting him finally put his finger there that one night was a huge step in the right place! Submission all the way!
I hope everyone is having a fantastic Tuesday!
~Jane
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Let me clear this up! :)
I believe in old fashioned values.
For me in our marriage this means DD, TiH, TTWD. I used to think we were more D/s. However, as time goes on and our TiH/DD relationship continues to grow through trial and error, we are finding what works for US, and we are realizing that we have a tendency to lean more towards TiH. But I do think its fair to say that we have a good mixture of all four with what works for us. They are all about the same in some shape or form, they are all about having a head and being submissive the way we should.
Let me be very clear in my next statement. I do not, and never have, and never will believe in BDSM. This is my blog so I am voicing my thoughts. :) So if you come here to read I want you to know that straight up. I will never advocate or post things like that here or in the community that I own.
I was looking back through my blog and I see some pictures and wording of some blogs that could make it seem we are way more leaning towards D/s. But that is just not true, so I want to make sure I clear that up. Maybe at one time when finding "us" we did, but now I think we just have a very well rounded TiH relationship that covers a lot of many different things. In the near future I will probably go back and remove some of those pictures and might even change the wording of some, or delete them all together.
For me this is consensual domestic discipline within the confines of a marriage of a man and woman.
(Below I found from another website and I think it sums it up perfectly!)
In today's world this is definitely not politically correct, but today's world isn't in such great shape is it? What America needs is a full-fledged return to the values and morals this country was founded upon and that made it great. The time when men were real men and being a submissive wife did not mean she was a doormat. The strongest woman I know is the one who willingly places herself in subjection to her own husband despite his flaws.
So there you go!
Jane
We test our HOH sometimes to see if they will stand their ground, but sometimes I think we are testing ourselves.
Dear Readers, (a little different opening, huh? :) )
Most of us women in a DD marriage, (TiH) find at some point or another we test our HOH to see really who is STILL in control. We want them to stand up to us and not let us walk all over them.
However I was thinking about this also, I believe at times I am really testing myself to see if I will actually submit in the quiet, sweet way that I should.
There are times that I want to fight him on it.
The way he has me positioned most of the time is on all fours with my legs spread and butt pushed out some. I admit that sometimes, more often than not, I start arching my back trying to pull my butt down so it isn't just out there.
At first its about the pain of the spanking but then at some point during the spanking I tell myself that I need to stop moving and be still and submit the way I should. Granted this doesn't happen all the time.
There have been times that after a spanking or corner time that I actually went back and asked him to redo it because I didn't feel like I submitted the way I should have, because I was either moving or giving him a hard time in some form. The next time he does the repeat I try my hardest to be still and submit 110%! I try not to move or anything.
So I do think at times I a testing myself by testing him. If I test him and he bites back I know what I got coming to me and it is a way for me to see if I am going to submit quietly the way I should.
We have blanket consent so it doesn't really matter, but I want to submit the way I should.
Just something interesting I thought about and wanted to share.
Jane
Most of us women in a DD marriage, (TiH) find at some point or another we test our HOH to see really who is STILL in control. We want them to stand up to us and not let us walk all over them.
However I was thinking about this also, I believe at times I am really testing myself to see if I will actually submit in the quiet, sweet way that I should.
There are times that I want to fight him on it.
The way he has me positioned most of the time is on all fours with my legs spread and butt pushed out some. I admit that sometimes, more often than not, I start arching my back trying to pull my butt down so it isn't just out there.
At first its about the pain of the spanking but then at some point during the spanking I tell myself that I need to stop moving and be still and submit the way I should. Granted this doesn't happen all the time.
There have been times that after a spanking or corner time that I actually went back and asked him to redo it because I didn't feel like I submitted the way I should have, because I was either moving or giving him a hard time in some form. The next time he does the repeat I try my hardest to be still and submit 110%! I try not to move or anything.
So I do think at times I a testing myself by testing him. If I test him and he bites back I know what I got coming to me and it is a way for me to see if I am going to submit quietly the way I should.
We have blanket consent so it doesn't really matter, but I want to submit the way I should.
Just something interesting I thought about and wanted to share.
Jane
Monday, February 10, 2014
Lets talk........................
Lets talk maintenance.
What are your thoughts on it? What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?
Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind. I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons. HOH does it when he feels the need. I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel.
I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time. Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh? Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also. Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me! Crazy, huh?
BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that. We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.
I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation. If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline. I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.
I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us. However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently! "Women stand up to your husband" - "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want" those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.
I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time. Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it. However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline. So I dunno!
Thoughts? What do you do in your marriage? I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.
HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do.
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What are your thoughts on it? What do you and your HOH do for maintenance if you do it?
Occasionally we do maintenance, however I personally think it should be done more often to keep me in a better frame of mind. I know there are some cons to doing it but personally I feel the pros out number the cons. HOH does it when he feels the need. I personally feel it should be done more just because I know how I feel.
I feel it serves so many good purposes, even though I hate it at the same time. Sounds like I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth, huh? Yes spank me and put me in my place, but I hate it also. Yes, put me in corner time and help me stay submissive, but don't touch me! Crazy, huh?
BDSM I/We have NO, NONE whatsoever of any interest in that. We are firmly DD, TiH, CDD, and at times, though not often D/s with just the way some things come up.
I feel that maintenance is a reminder to stay submissive, to remind me who is in charge, role affirmation. If not attitude sneaks up and then I end up with discipline. I think a few times a week is good, even if there is discipline involved, well then you have both because you knew it was maintenance, yet you earned discipline from not listening or breaking rules or sassing/talking back.
I think by nature us women have a need and want to be submissive to a powerful, strong man that can handle us. However we need constant reminders/role affirmation because in this society we are taught so differently! "Women stand up to your husband" - "Women you are equal to your husband" - "Women don't let anyone tell you what to do" - "Women pitch a fit to get what you want" those are the things we hear or see on TV shows, commercials or even in various households among family and friends.
I feel maintenance should cover both a spanking and corner time. Of course a less amount of time with each since it is just maintenance, but that is my views on it. However at times my maintenance does turn to discipline. So I dunno!
Thoughts? What do you do in your marriage? I have already addressed this some in a few emails to other DDers.
HOH feels a bit differently about this than I do.
Also, as I have mentioned in a few emails to other DDers. What do you do if your HOH is not strict enough? I'm not saying my HOH is not strict enough by any means! LOL (HOH if you are reading this which I know you do sometimes - YOU are strict! LOL I ♥ You) I'm curious to see how you ladies handle that? HOH makes the rules, but does he enforce them without any slack? Do you wish he was stricter? Or was firmer?
What other things does your HOH do for discipline? Or Role Affirmation to keep you in a submissive state?
We have done:
Spanking of course
Corner time
Corner time always has submission exercises
Writing lines
No panties for the day
A few times disciplining me in a different position that exposes more than I would like
Ok! Hugs to all my DDers!
Jane
PS
If you do not agree with any of the above, that is more than fine. Please refrain from posting ridiculous comments here. If you don't agree you may simply put that but you don't need to go into the personal attacks because that is just not called for. Thanks!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Did you have a good weekend?
First thing first! I want to thank the few of you that have sent me some very kind helpful emails! :) I will be responding soon!
I hope your family has had a fabulous weekend. We did!
Sadly tomorrow is Monday and HOH has to go back to work. :(
Question, do any of your write poetry? I am working on one about DD life. I will post it when it's done. I am going to be including it in the ebook!
We have company coming over in a bit and hubby has already threatened to take me back to our bedroom and spank me if I get to a point that he doesn't like. Yikes!! Well, that ain't going to happen! Ha! I'm not getting in trouble and take the chance of them hearing!
Well, another beautiful weekend!
((Hugs))
Jane
I hope your family has had a fabulous weekend. We did!
Sadly tomorrow is Monday and HOH has to go back to work. :(
Question, do any of your write poetry? I am working on one about DD life. I will post it when it's done. I am going to be including it in the ebook!
We have company coming over in a bit and hubby has already threatened to take me back to our bedroom and spank me if I get to a point that he doesn't like. Yikes!! Well, that ain't going to happen! Ha! I'm not getting in trouble and take the chance of them hearing!
Well, another beautiful weekend!
((Hugs))
Jane
Thursday, February 6, 2014
I am dreading tonight. :(
I am so dreading tonight!
As I posted below I have 5 or 7 minutes, I can't remember of a spanking and corner time. :(
It amazes me how far we have come with this lifestyle and it just being the normal.
It went from a few swats with a small, thin wooden spoon, to minutes and minutes of me on all 4 getting my rear wore out with a thick wooden spoon or whip thingy, or his belt. He has gone from barely tapping my rear with that small spoon in the beginning to the point of seeing my butt glow because he knows why he is doing it, and lets just say he doesn't swat anymore. He wears my butt out! The rear is a place meant for spankings and he doesn't hold back that much.
Plus the dreaded corner time I posted about below. :(
Tonight is going to be horrible! :( But I will submit and I know I have it coming. I also know he loves me and he is doing it out of love and after we will snuggle and watch TV together with the HOH who protects me, loves me, and will not let me run all over him. My man who takes charge and is not afraid to put me in my place.
I love him so much! (But dreading tonight's discipline!)
I will post back tomorrow!
~ Jane
As I posted below I have 5 or 7 minutes, I can't remember of a spanking and corner time. :(
It amazes me how far we have come with this lifestyle and it just being the normal.
It went from a few swats with a small, thin wooden spoon, to minutes and minutes of me on all 4 getting my rear wore out with a thick wooden spoon or whip thingy, or his belt. He has gone from barely tapping my rear with that small spoon in the beginning to the point of seeing my butt glow because he knows why he is doing it, and lets just say he doesn't swat anymore. He wears my butt out! The rear is a place meant for spankings and he doesn't hold back that much.
Plus the dreaded corner time I posted about below. :(
Tonight is going to be horrible! :( But I will submit and I know I have it coming. I also know he loves me and he is doing it out of love and after we will snuggle and watch TV together with the HOH who protects me, loves me, and will not let me run all over him. My man who takes charge and is not afraid to put me in my place.
I love him so much! (But dreading tonight's discipline!)
I will post back tomorrow!
~ Jane
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Help? Suggestions? Addiction?
So finally all my discipline spanking and corner time is over!! Phew!!
That's was a rough discipline!
I made something for hubby so that shouldn't happen again. I will post a picture of it later, but it's quiet and hurts! :( But I really don't like discipline dragging out.
Question - do any of you/or have any of you had a drinking addiction? If so, is there a way DD can help? I do have an addiction to alcohol and trying to control it. Any suggestions where DD can help? HOH told me to do some research on it. It is an addiction and I want to break it.
Can DD help? More spankings? Different discipline? Things that are humiliating to enforce that I need to break this addiction? I dunno! We are open to suggestions.
Jane
Should this be our answer??
That's was a rough discipline!
I made something for hubby so that shouldn't happen again. I will post a picture of it later, but it's quiet and hurts! :( But I really don't like discipline dragging out.
Question - do any of you/or have any of you had a drinking addiction? If so, is there a way DD can help? I do have an addiction to alcohol and trying to control it. Any suggestions where DD can help? HOH told me to do some research on it. It is an addiction and I want to break it.
Can DD help? More spankings? Different discipline? Things that are humiliating to enforce that I need to break this addiction? I dunno! We are open to suggestions.
Jane
Should this be our answer??
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
So we meet again wooden spoon!
Well HOH caught me coming out of the shower still wet and I got 6 minutes with the thick wooden spoon. After it was done he asked me to do something and I told him no, (why did I do that??? I mean I was still standing here naked!!!) and he told me to bend over for another minute with the spoon! He wanted me to come look at my butt to enforce the discipline but I didn't want to. Tonight is another 6 minutes and Thursday is 7 minutes. I don't mean to be disrespectful - it just happens! Right now I'm being disciplined big time for being very disrespectful a few days back! I got to learn to keep mouth in check!
Sore bottom,
Jane
Sore bottom,
Jane
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Long blog, sorry.
So I posted a few days ago about what was coming up today, "the big spanking" for disrespect. He wanted to wait on Tuesday (today) because of my period. Well I talked to HOH a few days ago and asked him if he would please break it up over a few days, and he said he would think about it. He finally told me that he would break it up for me. That disrespect the other day earned me 21 minutes, and not an easy 21 minutes. (that's not including anything I might get in trouble for) He told me I wouldn't be able to sit for a week. (That was when he was going to do it all on Tuesday.)
Plus, this spanking has been coming for a few days from when I acted disrespectful, and I feel bad for the disrespect. It has just been lingering over my head, I felt/feel bad, and I needed to submit. I needed some sort of discipline to start easing the guilt for my actions, to show him that I respect him and his power over me. So I sent him some text messages explaining that. I told him I would submit to any discipline action, no matter how humiliating and to please not wait until Tuesday.
So last night I was working out and wasn't home, and that part was fine. However we also had unexpected/expected (at the last minute) company last night. So I come home, still sweaty and my back end cold and instantly he takes me into the other room and knew it was for some sort of discipline. I kept telling him I needed a shower first and he said he knew that. That didn't stop him, because of my text messages and also due to the circumstances of having company, he was going to go through with giving me some sort of discipline. Which I am grateful to him for. He told me to pull down my pants and panties ( because of limited time he didn't make me fully undress) and bend over. (which I did, there was something in front of me to grab) He took that wooden spoon and for 2 minutes gave me a good, hard, solid, deserved spanking. I think about 30 seconds into it I was crying because it hurt. I kept reminding myself that it was deserved and it was for my disrespect and he didn't deserve that from me and that this is some of my discipline for it.
So that took 2 minutes off of my 21 so far for the week. So if I can manage to keep my mouth shut and follow the rules I have 19 minutes left for the disrespect.
I have to say that I truly, with all my heart, love our DD, TiH, TTWD lifestyle/relationship.
It changes who each of us are in our relationship. He is more dominant now than ever, (even before we fell off the wagon for a few months and restarted a few weeks ago) and I am more submissive and each day we are growing more and more into our roles. We know our roles, we know who we are in our marriage. It makes for a peaceful household, but also makes up so much more closer.
Yes, should I be submissive anyway? Do I need the threaten of a spanking or whatever humiliating discipline he comes up with to "fit the infraction?" Do I need this lifestyle to respect him? The answer to these questions are yes, and no.
Yes I want to be submissive, but no its not easy. Today we live in a world that women have to act equal and we simply are not. That doesn't mean we are "lower" or a doormat, it means that the HOH makes the rules and we abide by them.
Do I need a threaten of a spanking? Yes. Because again we live in a world that forces it down your throat to not answer to anyone. So yes I need the threat of a spanking or some sort of discipline to keeps me in check reminding me that I do have someone to answer to, and that is my HOH. I know my husband loves me enough to make sure that happens.
I respect my HOH with or without this lifestyle. However, my respect for my HOH grew by leaps and bounds when we started this lifestyle a year ago. Then when we fell off the wagon for a couple of months, it was still there but not as strong, but still there nonetheless. Now that we are back full force with our lifestyle, and that respect for him as a man, my owner, the HOH is deeper and stronger than it has EVER been.
I love him more and more, and feel closer to him than ever. I am his, and he takes care of me. He loves me for everything that I am, and I love him! I am not easy to handle, I am strong willed, sarcastic, and sassy, so his job is not easy, but he does it.
So tonight it's 5-7 minutes of spanking for just that, and I hope I don't get into any other trouble or it will be longer, and this time we don't have any company so I know it will be worse. I know it will be the entire spanking process, undressing and getting into position.
While I am dreading it big time, (so dreading it) I am also thankful for it because I want this discipline to go away along with that episode of horrible disrespect. Once the final 21 minutes is over this week then I can stop feeling guilty about acting horrible to my HOH........until next time I run off at the mouth.
I am the sort of person that runs off at the mouth first before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble, along with time management. With that being said, I need to close out this blog before I get into more trouble.
~Jane
Plus, this spanking has been coming for a few days from when I acted disrespectful, and I feel bad for the disrespect. It has just been lingering over my head, I felt/feel bad, and I needed to submit. I needed some sort of discipline to start easing the guilt for my actions, to show him that I respect him and his power over me. So I sent him some text messages explaining that. I told him I would submit to any discipline action, no matter how humiliating and to please not wait until Tuesday.
So last night I was working out and wasn't home, and that part was fine. However we also had unexpected/expected (at the last minute) company last night. So I come home, still sweaty and my back end cold and instantly he takes me into the other room and knew it was for some sort of discipline. I kept telling him I needed a shower first and he said he knew that. That didn't stop him, because of my text messages and also due to the circumstances of having company, he was going to go through with giving me some sort of discipline. Which I am grateful to him for. He told me to pull down my pants and panties ( because of limited time he didn't make me fully undress) and bend over. (which I did, there was something in front of me to grab) He took that wooden spoon and for 2 minutes gave me a good, hard, solid, deserved spanking. I think about 30 seconds into it I was crying because it hurt. I kept reminding myself that it was deserved and it was for my disrespect and he didn't deserve that from me and that this is some of my discipline for it.
So that took 2 minutes off of my 21 so far for the week. So if I can manage to keep my mouth shut and follow the rules I have 19 minutes left for the disrespect.
I have to say that I truly, with all my heart, love our DD, TiH, TTWD lifestyle/relationship.
It changes who each of us are in our relationship. He is more dominant now than ever, (even before we fell off the wagon for a few months and restarted a few weeks ago) and I am more submissive and each day we are growing more and more into our roles. We know our roles, we know who we are in our marriage. It makes for a peaceful household, but also makes up so much more closer.
Yes, should I be submissive anyway? Do I need the threaten of a spanking or whatever humiliating discipline he comes up with to "fit the infraction?" Do I need this lifestyle to respect him? The answer to these questions are yes, and no.
Yes I want to be submissive, but no its not easy. Today we live in a world that women have to act equal and we simply are not. That doesn't mean we are "lower" or a doormat, it means that the HOH makes the rules and we abide by them.
Do I need a threaten of a spanking? Yes. Because again we live in a world that forces it down your throat to not answer to anyone. So yes I need the threat of a spanking or some sort of discipline to keeps me in check reminding me that I do have someone to answer to, and that is my HOH. I know my husband loves me enough to make sure that happens.
I respect my HOH with or without this lifestyle. However, my respect for my HOH grew by leaps and bounds when we started this lifestyle a year ago. Then when we fell off the wagon for a couple of months, it was still there but not as strong, but still there nonetheless. Now that we are back full force with our lifestyle, and that respect for him as a man, my owner, the HOH is deeper and stronger than it has EVER been.
I love him more and more, and feel closer to him than ever. I am his, and he takes care of me. He loves me for everything that I am, and I love him! I am not easy to handle, I am strong willed, sarcastic, and sassy, so his job is not easy, but he does it.
So tonight it's 5-7 minutes of spanking for just that, and I hope I don't get into any other trouble or it will be longer, and this time we don't have any company so I know it will be worse. I know it will be the entire spanking process, undressing and getting into position.
While I am dreading it big time, (so dreading it) I am also thankful for it because I want this discipline to go away along with that episode of horrible disrespect. Once the final 21 minutes is over this week then I can stop feeling guilty about acting horrible to my HOH........until next time I run off at the mouth.
I am the sort of person that runs off at the mouth first before thinking and that is what gets me in trouble, along with time management. With that being said, I need to close out this blog before I get into more trouble.
~Jane
Friday, January 3, 2014
What a way to start off the year!
What a way to start the year off! Recently I've gone through a bad event in my life, well I've been short with HOH, and I also started my period which makes me snappy.
Last night he said something in I thought was a mean manner, and I sent him a few text messages that I should not have sent. At the time I knew, but didn't really care because I was pissed off at him. This morning I apologized and he took my apology. I told him that if he considered my text as disprect I would understand.
Well I got an answer back saying that it was disprectful and he also addressed some other things he didn't like that I have been doing. He said when my period is over there will be some consequences.
I know I am in for a hard spanking because his spanking since we recommited to this lifestyle, (as with many, at times you get thrown off with things in life and that's what happened to us and it did cause a lack of connection) have been harder than they were this entire past year. I told him that and he said that since we are in this lifestyle together he is going to make sure he spanks me right. Even his maintence spankings have got a lot harder. So I know next Tuesday I am in for it, BAD.
Now, I just need to make sure that I don't break any rules and I am 100% respectful and nothing else is added onto that. When he spanks me he will stop for a moment and say that was for X,Y, and Z, now this next one is for X, Y, and Z. So they add up!
Any advice to help me through what I think is going to be my worse spanking yet?
I don't know why he is spanking me so much harder now. He said it was because he wanted to spank me right, I guess to make sure I get it through my head and if he is going to do it that he is going to do it right. (he also said that)
Even yesterday I was smarting off a little bit to him while we were in the bathroom and he said "you just don't learn" and grabbed the spoon and swatted my butt a few good hard times.
I guess now for the first time he is really more than ever stepping up to this lifestyle. While he did before, this time it seems to be different. Even just having that small set back for a month or two, for the whole year before that he wasn't as strict as he is being now.
But I must say I am thankful for his new attitude! I told him this is what I wanted and needed from him, and I guess he can see it. I need a man who is not afraid of me and my strong personality. Someone I can't walk all over, someone that won't take crap from me and will hold me accountable, someone who loves me enough to take me in hand and discipline me for breaking rules or to keep us connected. Someone who is willing to take the lead in his household, and make sure I don't try to overstep him and keep me submissive.
Last night he said something in I thought was a mean manner, and I sent him a few text messages that I should not have sent. At the time I knew, but didn't really care because I was pissed off at him. This morning I apologized and he took my apology. I told him that if he considered my text as disprect I would understand.
Well I got an answer back saying that it was disprectful and he also addressed some other things he didn't like that I have been doing. He said when my period is over there will be some consequences.
I know I am in for a hard spanking because his spanking since we recommited to this lifestyle, (as with many, at times you get thrown off with things in life and that's what happened to us and it did cause a lack of connection) have been harder than they were this entire past year. I told him that and he said that since we are in this lifestyle together he is going to make sure he spanks me right. Even his maintence spankings have got a lot harder. So I know next Tuesday I am in for it, BAD.
Now, I just need to make sure that I don't break any rules and I am 100% respectful and nothing else is added onto that. When he spanks me he will stop for a moment and say that was for X,Y, and Z, now this next one is for X, Y, and Z. So they add up!
Any advice to help me through what I think is going to be my worse spanking yet?
I don't know why he is spanking me so much harder now. He said it was because he wanted to spank me right, I guess to make sure I get it through my head and if he is going to do it that he is going to do it right. (he also said that)
Even yesterday I was smarting off a little bit to him while we were in the bathroom and he said "you just don't learn" and grabbed the spoon and swatted my butt a few good hard times.
I guess now for the first time he is really more than ever stepping up to this lifestyle. While he did before, this time it seems to be different. Even just having that small set back for a month or two, for the whole year before that he wasn't as strict as he is being now.
But I must say I am thankful for his new attitude! I told him this is what I wanted and needed from him, and I guess he can see it. I need a man who is not afraid of me and my strong personality. Someone I can't walk all over, someone that won't take crap from me and will hold me accountable, someone who loves me enough to take me in hand and discipline me for breaking rules or to keep us connected. Someone who is willing to take the lead in his household, and make sure I don't try to overstep him and keep me submissive.
Some of us as women with the world we live in seem to think we are equal to men, and we are not. God made it so that men would take care of us and put them in charge of the household, and women to be a compliment to the husband. When a wife steps out of line, or needs an attitude adjustment, I think any husband should be able to take his wife, because they love each other, and set her straight for the peace of the household, his household however he sees fit. A punishment, (discipline) that fits the "crime". My HOH never talks down to me, we do talk about decisions that are made, but in the end it is his final say in what will happen, as it should be. You can not have two people running a household, it just won't work. There will be a power struggle, and how would that work with having peace in the household? It won't.
Have a happy Friday!
~Jane
Have a happy Friday!
~Jane
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thoughts on the Draw to Domestic Discipline: Why Do I Want to be Punished?
Interesting article I found somewhere that is so informative!
This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”
“Why would I want to spank my wife?”
Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that."
We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with.
There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.
But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved.
Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.
A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.
Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.
Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?
We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.
This is told by other women who desire DD that it helped them explain to their husbands why they wanted a DD relationship.
I think the questions "Why would I want this?” and “What is wrong with me?" are very common among those of us who desire domestic discipline.“Why would I want my husband to spank me?”
“Why would I want to spank my wife?”
Often, we women read about men who are "man enough" to stand up to their Subs, and care about them enough to make them behave, to protect their relationship, and to lead. We read about being dominated and many of us think, "Wow, that sounds kind of hot!" We read about men who have no problem taking their girls over their knees and showing them who's boss. And we think..."I want that."
We know that Domestic Discipline goes beyond the bedroom. Although many will admit there is an erotic element to DD, we know that it goes deeper than that. And sometimes, we are unsure as to why we would desire such a dynamic to begin with.
There is peace in submitting to the man you love. Knowing he is in charge and won't let things go astray makes us feel loved. Being spanked is a major display of dominance and submission. Being taken in hand is hot, though being punished still hurts. It's all wrapped up together.
But it's all rooted in our desire to be loved.
Let's take a look at a typical interaction with the average couple, and the same interaction from the Domestic Discipline perspective.
A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had a long day. She stomps her foot and slams something on the counter. His temper flares. He says some things he may or may not mean. He tells her he's had it, and he storms out of the house. She feels guilty. She feels abandoned. How could someone who loves her just leave like that? He doesn't have to leave the house to have the same effect. Maybe he's cold to her, or won't talk to her. She still has that feeling of being disconnected, abandoned, even unloved. As time goes on...and it could be hours, or longer...she realizes she's behaved terribly, and she feels guilty. She also feels hurt. What an awful end to an awful day. He comes home and they may or may not make up, but there's a bridge between the two of them. She still feels guilty.
Now, let's take a look at the same scenario with Domestic Discipline. A woman gets into an argument with her husband. She's tired, she's cranky, and she's had an awful day. She finally says something nasty and maybe in a fit of anger she stomps her foot, or slams something on the counter. He calmly and deliberately takes her by the arm, hauls her over his lap, and spanks her soundly. She feels the fight go out of her and has no choice but to submit. She feels humbled. When the fight is no longer in her anymore, he holds her. He tells her he forgives her and loves her. Maybe she feels something in her give way, and she cries. She feels forgiven. She knows he loves her enough to stop the fit, and to restore the peace in their relationship. Later, she thinks about how strong and masculine her husband was, and she realizes not only does she have a new-found respect, but she also finds his manliness more attractive.
Does she actually like to be spanked? Yes and no. Being punished hurts, and the knowledge that she's done something wrong is uncomfortable. We're not talking about “spanking for fun” here, and this is where many who desire Domestic Discipline become confused. Why would someone choose to be punished?
We desire being taken in hand because we want to feel loved, not because we want to be punished. Those who dominate seek to protect and care for their submissive partner, even when that protection means to protect us from ourselves. We want that intimate connection.
Spanking survey! Interesting!
We hit a bad spot in our marriage that almost left us in a divorce and me and him almost cheating on each other. You see I've always been bossy, and need to have things my way. I never mean to be selfish, but I stay in control and want to do things a certain way. However at same time I want to be told what to do, dominated, and have someone take care of me. At the time my husband didn't do that. I felt like I could walk all over him, and I did. I wanted to know there is someone that is bigger, stronger, in control, and can handle my stubborn attitude. I wanted to know there is someone that will say "No, you can't do that" or "Don't talk to me like that" and wasn't afraid to back it up with a spanking if I didn't listen, even by force if needed if I decided to fight. I needed and longed for someone that would protect me from everything in this world, including myself, someone that loved me enough. That is what my Owner/HOH has become! He is not the boy I married, he is now THE MAN I married! :)
2.) What do you most often call your HOH/Spanker? (Sir, Master, etc.)
Owner at different times, but mostly his name. However when he is disciplining me or maintenance he makes sure that I say "Yes Sir" and he repeats and makes sure I acknowledge that he is my owner.
3.) What does your HOH/Spanker most often call you? (Young Lady, Girl, etc)
My girl, and good girl. (when I'm good)
4.) We're building a big spanko bonfire, which one implement are you bringing to toss in?
Either the belt or the thick wooden spoon he has.
5.) We all know how many punishments there are to choose from; spanking, lecturing, corner time, etc.. but what about rewards? Do you have a favorite 'reward' that is used? If not, what's something you'd like used as a reward?
I don't need a "reward" because the "reward" is that I have the man I've needed my entire life, and with DD I become the woman (lady, girl) he needs that respects him and it gives our relationship a whole new meaning. That is our reward.
6.) What's that one phrase, that when it's used, you know you're in trouble?
He hasn't come up with one yet. Usually its just a given that I've crossed a line and later I am going to be in the closet, in the garage in the car, or in the basement.
He has started saying "we will talk about this later" jokingly and that is suppose to mean that I will be getting spanked or disciplined in some form. However he has never acted on that yet.
7.) What's something you'd like to cross off your spanking bucket list? Being shy is not an option here people. ;)
I don't have a spanking bucket list, however I am worried one day he will get a leather belt or bigger paddle, or if I really, really, really cross a line use a non spanking discipline that will totally humiliate me. (He has said he has no intentions of doing that but nothing is off the table)
8.) Someone comes to you, and says they just started practicing domestic discipline. What's the biggest piece of advice you can give them?
To go with it! Enjoy it! Enjoy the reward it brings. For the Man to be FIRM and consistent! For the wife to be submissive as hard as it may be. Believe me, I know! I get plenty of spankings when we do our "submission exercise" if you will.
9.) Where is the craziest place you've been spanked?
I guess in the garage bent over the car? Not crazy! He has swatted my butt in public kinda playing and kinda being serious. Kinda embarrassing! LOL
10.) We talked about a spanking bucket list, now let's get a little more into it.. what about a BDSM style bucket list? What's something you'd like to cross off of that?
We are not into BDSM.
11.) Is there a punishment you thought you'd never try, but ended up trying and finding effective?
Corner time totally nude. Or when he tells me no panties! I never thought that wearing no panties at his demand would accomplish anything, but it does. Sometimes he will tell me no panties just because and there is no reason other than that's what he wants and it keeps me thinking about him. The simple fact of just obeying and submission. At the same time he has used it as discipline before. He sent me a text and told me to take my panties off and leave them off until certain chores were done. To make sure I listened he had me take a picture of my panties that I had taken off.
12.) What is something you wish you knew before you started DD/TTWD?
How much closer it would make us. How it would make me soft, gentle, feminine, submissive and give the respect to my husband he deserves and that I would see him in such control and him being a true MAN!
13.) If you could take a break from one rule, for one week, which rule would it be?
That I can have a few glasses of wine when I want and not have to ask first.
14.) This might sound like a no brainer at first, but really think about it. If you could only have one sort of spanking in your dynamic, would you rather it be discipline or fun?
I'd choose discipline. The discipline satisfies an emotional and psychological need of mine, and in turn makes our marriage happier and gives my husband the control he should have in our marriage.
15.) If your HOH/Spanker messed up, and offered to let you spank them, would you? Why/Why not?
No way. I think it would leave me unsettled and feeling "off." Even if he messed up and I shot off at the mouth about it, I would expect him to discipline me for disrespect even though he messed up.
16.) What is your favorite form of aftercare?
The closeness it brings. I can melt into him. And of course sometimes, not all the time, we make love and that is really nice.
17.) How was DD/spanking brought up to you, or how did you bring it up to your partner?
Its something I read about many, many years ago and my HOH was not interested at that point. I don't think he realized that we needed it and I didn't either to the extent we did. But after we almost ended in divorce I brought it back to his attention and we went for it.
18.) If your spanker could use only one implement from here on out, what would they use?
Wooden paddle or belt...it's a toss up.
19.) Do you have a favorite pair of panties to wear when you know you're going to be spanked? If so, what are they?
I'm not allowed to wear clothes when I'm being disciplined. He either makes me undress or he undresses me.
20.) Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on how you look at it) mind reading hasn't yet been perfected. What's something you want your HOH/Dom/Spanker to know? (For example, don't be afraid to spank harder, or something along those lines.) Don't be afraid, spill!
I know you do this because you love me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you really how much that means to me. Always be firm with me, and don't be afraid to make me cry. I need your firmness and to know I can not walk all over you. And if I do you have no issue with beating my butt and if I fight you on it, forcibly spanking me.
*Bonus Question (just because it's fun)- Is there a picture (spanking, dd, Ds, etc related) that you just really love? If so, let's see it!*
I have a few... He has her in a position that she can't fight him on. You can also see that he has enforced full nudity with the discipline.
This one because I have been in this position and its quick to strip any attitude and it is effective! It enforces humility really fast!
Then this one is my FAVORITE! To me it reminds me how I feel about my HOH after he has disciplined me. (if disciplined the correct way because if I don't have the attitude depicted in the picture then I don't have the RIGHT attitude) Complete submission for the HOH!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Thank you all!!!
I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog. As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions. Is this normal, is that normal? Should I feel this way? Is it working?
At times I doubt it and myself. At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it. Sometimes it's confusing!
For us, it has saved our marriage! We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things.
It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place. We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.
I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!
But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come.
At times I doubt it and myself. At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it. Sometimes it's confusing!
For us, it has saved our marriage! We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things.
It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place. We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.
I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!
But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Maintenance makes me get an attitude? Anyone else? Looking for answers!
Does anyone find that things are going good then it's time for maintenance and then you get in trouble? We can have a great day and then it's time for maintenance and then while I am in a humiliating position or getting a spanking I get mad! When he is done is always asks me how I feel and I get like this......
I get an attitude and I don't know why!!!
From there it is a slippery slope!!!
After he sees that I am heading down this slippery slope. The picture below describes it.
Below is the position 95% of the time he has me in when we are in our "spanking area" It's sucks! It allows him more access to the back of my lower thigh, my sit spot! He does
and will and has taken me over his knees and sometime he does for warm up and then I'm in this position.
However he has figured out some new things, new positions that he likes to spank in and is very, very humiliating!!
"Bend over and grab your ankles" WTH? Talk about embarrassing and humiliation! He will have me just stand there like that. So embarrassing! However when I'm in this position I also get a spanking, and then usually followed up by above position to finish up.
While he has started with is this new horrible, humiliating postion in the picture above, he still uses his old fall back of standard corner time. Naked, legs spread, and hands on the back of my head. I can't be still in any position and is usually while I get spanked. I know its a matter of letting go of pride, and dignity and therefore attitude adjustment or just the simple reminder of my place in our family and who runs things, reminding me that I'm his. For the life of me I can not be still when his hands start moving around or he tells me to be still, yet his hands can move all over me while we are making love.
I think it has to do again with the pride of being made to do it, obedience and submission and that wooden spoon wondering around my butt! LOL After a few spankings he will ask me if I want to make him happy and if I'm going to be obedient and submissive and a good girl. My answer is always YES because I do. But I always have attitude, always. Though I can be fine when going in for maintenance its just I get this sudden attitude and pissy. However, after a few sound spankings for moving, and him turning me around and giving me a fair chance and asking me how I feel, I have a wall up. He then puts me back in position or ANOTHER more embarrassing position, and for some reason at that point, AFTER all that, I START then letting go. Don't ask why because I don't know why. Like right now I know I am getting maintenance tonight and it will be spanking and some sort of humiliating position (with everything that comes with being in that position) and I dreading it yet I'm not pissed or mad about it and deep down (though I've already complained to my owner about it and tried to get out of it) I know its needed. However, I also know that while I'm dreading it now, I will be fine walking into our "discipline area" but the moment he makes me take my clothes off and I get spanked I will get mad and this will take time after time of spanking and humiliation before after awhile something will click and I will be obedient and submissive and do as I'm told. I will let go of my dignity and pride and give it to my owner. I KNOW he loves me and I think that's why I can do this eventually, its just the initial being pissed off. Even when I know logically its for the best, I guess its just my natural reaction to put up that wall and give attitude because my butt is hurting and I'm embarrassed.
Truth be told and I hate to say it, probably what is MOST effective with me is humiliation. The worse the position, the more effective it is because I lose pride faster and dignity. The picture below is a position that I think would be the ultimate humiliation. (other than the enemas and "butt" stuff everyone talks about - I would cry so hard of humiliation and embarrassment! ) But grabbing my ankles is pretty close to the below picture and makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide! But yet so is regular corner time that was described above. They are all embarrassing! YIKES!
Spankings are very humiliating also and I think when my butt starts hurting that's when I get mad and get attitude and put up a wall. He has to spank me several times for me to get in the right frame of mind to except it. Once I do, I truly do except it. But he has gone from someone who was scared to spank me with only 4 tiny swats, to beating and reddening my butt and love seeing it red! He has taken on the attitude in the picture below. However, on some level I crave them and I know I need them. I KNOW I do! Once I have been broken down and I finally submit and let go, it gives me a release and I am so thankful for my owner for keeping up with it. He knows what's best for me. He has seen it. I will admit to at times I have gone back to him and asked him to discipline me again because I didn't accept it the way I should have and that was with submission in my mind.
This is what my loving owner does for me in the picture below. He has to pull back layers, after layers for me to truly submit. I am getting better in day to day life, I think. It is a long process and one that is and has paid off but we are constantly learning and I'm sure we will never have it down to an art.
My owner tells me that when I submit and I'm still and I finally except my maintenance, or discipline or I listen and don't back talk. (or in general just follow rules) that it makes him happy. He knows its not easy for me and I'm trying. As I said, I will and have gone back to him and asked for another spanking and corner time so I could submit the correct way, I am willing at times to put myself through another reddening of my butt that is already sore and the humiliation of whatever position he puts me in to accept it the correct way. That means my submission and putting my full trust in him because I love him and he loves me and takes care of me and protects me.
YET, I still don't understand why I can go in our "spanking area" and I am fine knowing Im getting maintenance (tho dreading it) and then within minutes pissed and mad and I get spanked several times, but after he continues I finally let go and submit to the touching and spankings and I am so grateful to him and feel like I can melt into him. Logically I know all of this, BUT WHY the initial reaction? Does anyone else have this issue?
~Jane DDLearning
Thursday, July 4, 2013
New Rules and Owner likes a red bottom
This pictures says a thousand words!
I think most husbands, once they embrace the DD, TTWD, D/s Lifestyle enjoy seeing our bottoms RED! The might not like having to do it, but I think they do like judging the color and looking at their "handy" work.
Whatever the reason, be it because of displeasure, not obeying, back talking, or simply just because they want to, knowing that it will keep the marriage strong and reminder of who has authority and who is in control they find enjoyment from it in that respect.
My owner finally put together a new list of rules.
Not going to be fun!
I already know I'm in trouble for today.
As much as I hate it, find it embarrassing, and yet at the same time find it a turn on, (which is embarrassing alone) I KNOW its needed. For some reason my body, my brain needs it. I need the accountability, someone who is not afraid to stand up to me, someone is not afraid to say "Ok, get up and go to the closet" for no reason at all and blister my rear! In my brain it resets me, it is a stress relief, and sometimes I feel like the pain that I feel when I'm being spanked is what gives me that relief! I think it takes my mind off of things that is bothering me when I'm on overload.
DD, TTWD, D/s lifestyle is a wonderful way for us.
So while I get what I need (even when I'm trying to talk him out of spanking me) I feel owner gets satisfaction for one spanking me and watching my butt turn red, (when we first started I don't think he liked it that much but as he has fully embraced it, I see it in him) and two the results that come out of our lifestyle.
~Jane DDLearning
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?
It has been awhile since I've posted here! I hope everyone is doing great!
Things have been going well! We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD.
When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage!
Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!
Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about.
What is the difference between DD and D/s?
For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic. Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on? Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?
Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on? An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me. To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.) The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive) For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline. However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating. Does that happen to anyone else? Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority.
That also goes for corner time. I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person. Embarrassing! So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.
*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me. When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings.
Is this degrading to what DD is about? TTWD? LDD? Does this happen to other women?
Or does this qualify as D/s?????
Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come! I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things! Thank you!
~Jane
Thursday, March 7, 2013
I've been staying in trouble! :(
I can't even begin to tell you how many spankings I have gotten!
Yesterday I started with gettin sassy in a text message and his response was "Panties off NOW".... /sigh Plus the last 2 days prior to that Ive been havin to write lines......
Last night HOH had me do corner time, panties dropped to the floor and he makes sure my shirt is up high enough and if its not he comes and spanks my rear and pulls it up again, he seems to want my butt on display as much as it can be.......... Then I got discipline for having a "wall" up and being distant...... and then for havin a bratty attitude the night before, then I got maintence.
He told me Im getting maintence every night until further notice.
Then this morning I still had a wall up and because of that and for some other reason he had me in the closet, panties down with the hair brush. :(
Then when we came back to bed he said I still had a attitude and I did....... and I told him that he is still leaving me in control. He was quiet for a few mins, and then he said "You know what, you are not in control anymore." He grabbed me by my wrist firmly took me again into the closet, told me to pull down my panties in a firm voice and this time gave me a good hard sound spanking that I had no control over, I didn't know when he was going to stop even tho I was starting to move around. After he was done, still in a firm voice, he told me to pull my panties up and took me again firmly by the wrist and walked me to the bed and told me to get back in bed. I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said "you can in a little bit." So after we talked for a few more minutes he asked me if I really had to go to the bathroom again, and I was doomed! Because I didn't really have to go, it was my way of still acting out, I guess. So because of lying to show out, even though I was acting alot better, another trip into the closet and I got it with the hair brush AGAIN!
He then informed me that NOW we are doing maintenance in the morning and at night.
However we are seeing HUGE improvement though!!!!!!!! The other day I finally got EVERYTHING on my chore list done, and in the time fame he wanted them done! I was so proud of myself and he was proud of me also! Finally I was able to stick to a schedule, and work on my time managment.
Even after this mornings spanking(s)....... Im in for more tonight because I have already broke one rule which is discipline which mean a spanking and corner time..... and then maintenance.
My poor red glowing butt! But I wouldn't change a thing! DD has brought us so much closer! It is helping me in so many areas of my life and our marriage. The only thing I would change is hubby gettin more firm with me, and I want him to be! I love him so much for that! I NEED that! Yet, he is very loving and always kissing me and holding me.......
Jane ~~~ Madly in love with Tarzan
Yesterday I started with gettin sassy in a text message and his response was "Panties off NOW".... /sigh Plus the last 2 days prior to that Ive been havin to write lines......
Last night HOH had me do corner time, panties dropped to the floor and he makes sure my shirt is up high enough and if its not he comes and spanks my rear and pulls it up again, he seems to want my butt on display as much as it can be.......... Then I got discipline for having a "wall" up and being distant...... and then for havin a bratty attitude the night before, then I got maintence.
He told me Im getting maintence every night until further notice.
Then this morning I still had a wall up and because of that and for some other reason he had me in the closet, panties down with the hair brush. :(
Then when we came back to bed he said I still had a attitude and I did....... and I told him that he is still leaving me in control. He was quiet for a few mins, and then he said "You know what, you are not in control anymore." He grabbed me by my wrist firmly took me again into the closet, told me to pull down my panties in a firm voice and this time gave me a good hard sound spanking that I had no control over, I didn't know when he was going to stop even tho I was starting to move around. After he was done, still in a firm voice, he told me to pull my panties up and took me again firmly by the wrist and walked me to the bed and told me to get back in bed. I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said "you can in a little bit." So after we talked for a few more minutes he asked me if I really had to go to the bathroom again, and I was doomed! Because I didn't really have to go, it was my way of still acting out, I guess. So because of lying to show out, even though I was acting alot better, another trip into the closet and I got it with the hair brush AGAIN!
He then informed me that NOW we are doing maintenance in the morning and at night.
However we are seeing HUGE improvement though!!!!!!!! The other day I finally got EVERYTHING on my chore list done, and in the time fame he wanted them done! I was so proud of myself and he was proud of me also! Finally I was able to stick to a schedule, and work on my time managment.
Even after this mornings spanking(s)....... Im in for more tonight because I have already broke one rule which is discipline which mean a spanking and corner time..... and then maintenance.
My poor red glowing butt! But I wouldn't change a thing! DD has brought us so much closer! It is helping me in so many areas of my life and our marriage. The only thing I would change is hubby gettin more firm with me, and I want him to be! I love him so much for that! I NEED that! Yet, he is very loving and always kissing me and holding me.......
Jane ~~~ Madly in love with Tarzan
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