Thank you all!!!

I want to take a moment and thank you all for your comments here on my page with my blog.  As I'm sure most of you know that its a journey that comes up with many questions.  Is this normal, is that normal?  Should I feel this way?  Is it working? 

At times I doubt it and myself.   At times I'm humiliated, at times I'm mad, and then at other times I feel a closeness to him that is not describable, and at times I crave it and need it.   Sometimes it's confusing!

For us, it has saved our marriage!   We had a bad thing happen a while back and it made us evaluate some things. 

It is something that is so meaningful to use that we are going to make some jewelry (bracelets) that has something on it for each of us to help remind us of our place.   We are going to use some sort of letters that nobody will pick up on and if anyone ask we will tell them its between me and owner.  

I looked all over online and there are not many places that make DD/ Ms jewelry!  

But I wanted to say thank you all for your help and comments along the way and I'm sure I will have more in the months to come. 

Maintenance makes me get an attitude? Anyone else? Looking for answers!

Does anyone find that things are going good then it's time for maintenance and then you get in trouble?  We can have a great day and then it's time for maintenance and then while I am in a humiliating position or getting a spanking I get mad!  When he is done is always asks me how I feel and I get like this......
 

I get an attitude and I don't know why!!! 

From there it is a slippery slope!!!

 

 

After he sees that I am heading down this slippery slope. The picture below describes it.

 

 

 

 

 

Below is the position 95% of the time he has me in when we are in our "spanking area" It's sucks!  It allows him more access to the back of my lower thigh, my sit spot!  He does 

and will and has taken me over his knees and sometime he does for warm up and then I'm in this position. 

 

However he has figured out some new things, new positions that he likes to spank in and is very, very  humiliating!!

"Bend over and grab your ankles"  WTH?  Talk about embarrassing and humiliation!  He will have me just stand there like that.  So embarrassing!  However when I'm in this position I also get a spanking, and then usually followed up by above position to finish up.

While he has started with is this new horrible, humiliating postion in the picture above, he still uses his old fall back of standard corner time.  Naked, legs spread, and hands on the back of my head.  I can't be still in any position and is usually while I get spanked.  I know its a matter of letting go of pride, and dignity and therefore attitude adjustment or just the simple reminder of my place in our family and who runs things, reminding me that I'm his.  For the life of me I can not be still when his hands start moving around or he tells me to be still, yet his hands can move all over me while we are making love. 

 

 I think it has to do again with the pride of being made to do it, obedience and submission and that wooden spoon wondering around my butt!  LOL After a few spankings he will ask me if I want to make him happy and if I'm going to be obedient and submissive and a good girl.  My answer is always YES because I do.   But I always have attitude, always.  Though I can be fine when going in for maintenance its just I get this sudden attitude and pissy.  However, after a few sound spankings for moving, and him turning me around and giving me a fair chance and asking me how I feel, I have a wall up.  He then puts me  back in position or ANOTHER more embarrassing position,  and for some reason at that point, AFTER all that, I START then letting go.  Don't ask why because I don't know why.   Like right now I know I am getting maintenance tonight and it will be spanking and some sort of humiliating position (with everything that comes with being in that position) and I dreading it yet I'm not pissed or mad about it and deep down (though I've already complained to my owner about it and tried to get out of it) I know its needed.   However, I also know that while I'm dreading it now, I will be fine walking into our "discipline area" but the moment he makes me take my clothes off and I get spanked I will get mad and this will take time after time of spanking and humiliation before after awhile something will click and I will be obedient and submissive and do as I'm told. I will let go of my dignity and pride and give it to my owner.   I KNOW he loves me and I think that's why I can do this eventually, its just the initial being pissed off.  Even when I know logically its for the best, I guess its just my natural reaction to put up that wall and give attitude because my butt is hurting and I'm embarrassed.

 

 

Truth be told and I hate to say it, probably what is MOST effective with me is humiliation.  The worse the position, the more effective it is because I lose pride faster and dignity.  The picture below is a position that I think would be the ultimate humiliation. (other than the enemas and "butt" stuff everyone talks about - I would cry so hard of humiliation and embarrassment! )  But grabbing my ankles is pretty close to the below picture and makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide!  But yet so is regular corner time that was described above.  They are all embarrassing! YIKES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spankings are very humiliating also and I think when my butt starts hurting that's when I get mad and get attitude and put up a wall.   He has to spank me several times for me to get in the right frame of mind to except it.  Once I do, I truly do except it.   But he has gone from someone who was scared to spank me with only 4 tiny swats, to beating and reddening my butt and love seeing it red!  He has taken on the attitude in the picture below.  However, on some level I crave them and I know I need them.   I KNOW I do!  Once I have been broken down and I finally submit and let go, it gives me a release and I am so thankful for my owner for keeping up with it.  He knows what's best for me.  He has seen it.   I will admit to at times I have gone back to him and asked him to discipline me again because I didn't accept it the way I should have and that was with submission in my mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what my loving owner does for me in the picture below. He has to pull back layers, after layers for me to truly submit.  I am getting better in day to day life, I think.   It is a long process and one that is and has paid off but we are constantly learning and I'm sure we will never have it down to an art. 

 

 

 

My owner tells me that when I submit and I'm still and I finally except my maintenance, or discipline or I listen and don't back talk. (or in general just follow rules) that it makes him happy.  He knows its not easy for me and I'm trying.  As I said, I will and have gone back to him and asked for another spanking and corner time so I could submit the correct way, I am willing at times to put myself through another reddening of my butt that is already sore and the humiliation of whatever position he puts me in to accept it the correct way.   That means my submission and putting my full trust in him because I love him and he loves me and takes care of me and protects me.

 

 

 

YET, I still don't understand why I can go in our "spanking area" and I am fine knowing Im getting maintenance (tho dreading it) and then within minutes pissed and mad and I get spanked several times, but after he continues I finally let go and submit to the touching and spankings and I am so grateful to him and feel like I can melt into him.   Logically I know all of this, BUT WHY the initial reaction?  Does anyone else have this issue?

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:)

I love my owner

I want to thank my owner for all he does!! 

Long post - rambling

So here I am!  Again!  I hope everyone is doing good!

Over the last week or so I think we figured out that we fit in with not only LDD/ TTWD but also D/s....  

I am the one doing a lot of research on things and my loving owner reads them and applies it as he sees fit. 

He bought a thick spoon about 5 days ago and that spoon hurts!

I got the worse spanking I think Ive ever had a few days ago. I had a bad attitude and was just being disrespectful.  Though I did get all my chores done that day because I knew I was in trouble from the night before.   The closet is usually where I am disciplined in, but he decided we needed more privacy for this spanking.  He told me were going to the basement, and I knew that wasn't good!  He had already told me that I was getting a sound discipline, and again I knew I had it coming.   

We went down to the basement and he told me to strip and took me over his knee and gave me a long hard warm up with the brush.  Then he made me stand up and bend over the chair and then he took his new favorite spanking implement and wore my butt out!   It hurt so bad! 

 Then we came up stairs where I was made to strip again for corner time.    

This is where we practice submission and obedience.  (Submission and obedience is after all what everything stems from in our lifestyle)  I am told to stand still and not move and let him touch me anywhere and however he wants. (Obedience  - "you are going be a good girl and not move? Do you want to make me happy? Then don't move"    Submission - letting go of pride and dignity and letting him touch me where ever and how ever he wants, which also reminds me that I am his)  But if I disobey and squirm even a little I get spanked.   

Well that night while in the corner I got whipped with the belt twice for squirming when he touched me ( yes in vulnerable places  - places that make me lose my pride )   Finally I was able to let go of my pride and let him touch me and belong to him without moving.    When we do this as part of discipline, maintenance, role affirmation, I always end up getting spanked because it takes a lot to let go of that pride and dignity and give it away to my owner.   

Even though I know he loves me and trust him we are living in a world that women are taught that is horrible to "obey" anyone, to have a head of the household and be in submission.  

Are there other ways for submission?  I'm sure there are, but in this kind of situation it is highly effective for us to take away pride and attitude and walls.  Vulnerability needs to set in. 

Spankings hurt and are humiliating!   In our lifestyle we feel and we have seen that humiliation is a big key in DD -D/s loving marriage we have.  To be truly owned you can not have any prideful tendencies as most women do, and having that pride takes you away from submission and in turn obedience. 

My owner also decided the other day due to bring haughty and a bad attitude

(Which I did) that he was going to start using a new position.   I hate, hate it!!!   

A day or so ago I was mouthy and had an attitude again (that's why we have maintenance because I am as most women are, quick to revert back or slip up and usually when I slip up and I'm called out on it, I get mad and it escalates from there) and he pulled me in the closet.  My clothes were removed and the next words out of his mouth horrified me!   "Bend over and grab your ankles" I was shocked and humiliated!  I was resistant but there was no getting out of it.  So I reached down for my ankles then my owner reached down and made me spread my legs.   I was horrified because I was in an embarrassing position, he could see everything and nothing is left to the imagination.  He gave me a few good hard smacks with the spoon and then lectured me about my attitude and that I belong to him.  Then he proceeded with the "submission and obedience" session we do.    

I hate corner time!  (Either in the corner or the new found "bend over and grab your ankles")   It is as embarrassing, if not more embarrassing than when I'm spanked!  Both are horrible, yet understandably needed.   

Being in a truly submissive state makes a woman feel truly like she owned by the man she loves and who loves her.   

Submission either by want or by force IS erotic!  Yes it is discipline, and spankings  hurt badly, its embarrassing and humiliating, and it IS for bad behavior or role affirmation, but regardless of the reason it draws the husband and wife closer.  The husband is SHOWING you his authority of you by his power.  The bond is so much stronger.  I know for any discipline I receive, I hate it and everything that goes with it.  I hate it early on in the day when Ive done something and I know Im getting a spanking and corner time when my owner gets home.  However 99% of the time after Discipline or reinforcement I feel better, I feel closer to my owner.  But by being submissive it draws out more of the woman's softer side, her feminine side, the side of her that is submissive to her owner that she shows respect, obedience, and submission to.  That is what makes it erotic, that closeness you feel and giving yourself over to your owner in heart and body, knowing that he knows you inside and out.   

From my research is not uncommon for women to get "wet" from discipline even when their butt is on fire and they are so embarrassed by the position that are in and they  just want to hide in a hole somewhere.   I know I do and that in of itself is so, so, so humiliating.  My owner can see and feel it and it embarrasses me so much!  He won't let me wipe myself off, he takes a cloth and wipes me because its part of the discipline.   Again, it's part of taking that rotten attitude away, taking that pride away by reminding me that everything I have and my body belongs to him.  Now there is nothing wrong with pride, it just doesn't need to come with attitude and towards your owner.

With all that being said, I am very strong willed, a loud mouth, hard headed and don't listen according to my owner.   I know he has his hands full with me!   You would think with all the spankings and corner time of embarrassment I would learn, it would be a deterrent from my rotten attitude and my sassy mouth.  I think at times it is, because I do think sometimes before I speak, even though he doesn't think so,  but other times I fly off the handle, I don't care and I get this "whatever" attitude.  At that point I realized I crossed a line and I know I'm in trouble so I'm like "so what".  Or one of the biggest things I do, and I don't know how my owner will fix this issue is that I question everything he tells me to do or not do.  Everything!  Plus I grew up in a house and for a good part of our marriage being allowed to get attitude, get my way, be sarcastic, and use a nasty tone of voice, and say what I wanted to say.  There are just some things that are part of my personality.  My owner says he is going to fix that.  LOL 

We have only been with this lifestyle maybe 6 months and hubby went from scared to spank me and backing down from me and my attitude and only giving me 4 little pops with the spoon to a man who has fully embraced this lifestyle, a man who doesn't put up with any crap and gives me to do list that has to be done, rules, and will redden my butt so bad and put me in corner time and shows me his authority over me.  He shows me that I belong to him, and that I'm allowed to be a strong woman with life but when its all said and done all decisions and how things are done, my well-being, and my body is his to do as he wishes.   

For me being a "brat" my entire life, this is taken some getting used to, hence why I always in trouble. (I can't catch a break because if I'm not in trouble for bad behavior, or not showing respect.... So forth and so on.... There is role affirmation of maintenance) 

I wish we would have found this lifestyle early on in our marriage!  It has made us closer! It has made life easier.  You can't have two people running a household.  One has to run it and the other do as they are told to make everything run easier in life.  

New Rules and Owner likes a red bottom

 

 

 

This pictures says a thousand words! 

I think most husbands, once they embrace the DD, TTWD, D/s Lifestyle enjoy seeing our bottoms RED!   The might not like having to do it, but I think they do like judging the color and looking at their "handy" work. 

 

 

 

Whatever the reason, be it because of displeasure, not obeying, back talking, or simply just because they want to,  knowing that it will keep the marriage strong and reminder of who has authority and who is in control they find enjoyment from it in that respect.

 

 

My owner finally put together a new list of rules. 

Not going to be fun!

 

I already know I'm in trouble for today. 

 

As much as I hate it, find it embarrassing, and yet at the same time find it a turn on, (which is embarrassing alone)  I KNOW its needed.  For some reason my body, my brain needs it.  I need the accountability,  someone who is not afraid to stand up to me,  someone is not afraid to say "Ok, get up and go to the closet" for no reason at all and blister my rear!  In my brain it resets me, it is a stress relief, and sometimes I feel like the pain that I feel when I'm being spanked is what gives me that relief!  I think it takes my mind off of things that is bothering me when I'm on overload.

 

DD, TTWD, D/s lifestyle is a wonderful way for us.

 

So while I get what I need (even when I'm trying to talk him out of spanking me) I feel owner gets satisfaction for one spanking me and watching my butt turn red, (when we first started I don't think he liked it that much but as he has fully embraced it, I see it in him) and  two the results that come out of our lifestyle.

 

~Jane DDLearning

 

 

Embarrassment and humiliation??? Anyone else? Erotic but yet discipline?

 

 

It has been awhile since I've posted here!  I hope everyone is doing great! 

 

 Things have been going well!   We have stayed on the DD path most of the time, but at times have had to put it on the back burner due to family issues that didn't allow us to do practice DD. 

 

When that happened we can/could really tell a big difference in our marriage! 

 

Recently we have had some long talks about getting our schedules back on track and making sure DD is well and alive in our marriage because it brings us so much closer!

 

Maybe you all can help me out with a few questions I have that I have also asked my dear owner about. 

 

What is the difference between DD and D/s? 

 

For some reasons while DD is painful, VERY painful and I don't want it, there is another part of me that does and that part finds it erotic.   Sometimes the spankings hurt so badly I can't keep still and I'm crying but yet sexual turned on?  Does anyone else have that issue? Or know why?

 

Which brings me to this next question when I'm being disciplined, corner time, in humiliating positions to help humble me or knock a chip off my shoulder, again I hate it because its so embarrassing, but it turns me on?  An example of this was recently dear owner had already spanked me and it wasn't enough, so I had to go in the closet and take off all my clothes and get on all 4 and he spread my legs and he spanked me.  To assert his authority he would rub on my bottom and I'm not suppose to move to show submission. (not in a sick way - but in a way to make him know that I am submitting and I'm his and I'm not going to fight him.)  The reason for this is because that is a humiliating position and it reduces my attitude and takes away pride that I am carrying around. (for me it works because when I tell him to stop or I squirm I get spanked more but usually by the time I not fighting him my attitude is gone and I'm in a better mood and very submissive)  For me it works because its so embarrassing because he can see everything and I can't move because its in the middle of discipline.  However what is embarrassing about it also is that it is making me "wet" and him feeling that or seeing that is embarrassing and humiliating.  Does that happen to anyone else?  Don't get me wrong, I hate it because of the embarrassment but it does work for my attitude or reminding me that I am his wife and my role in our marriage and who has authority. 

 

That also goes for corner time.  I have to stand there either naked or with my panties down and occasionally he will come up and touch me and if I move or say stop and swats my butt a few times really hard, and he will come back later and he tries again and I finally submit and by that time my attitude is gone and I am in back where I need to be and I feel like a better person.  Embarrassing!  So embarrassing but yet it also makes me "wet" and its so humiliating that my dear owner sees this and feels this.

 

*Please keep in mind that hubby only does these things because he has seen that it is what works with me.  When I have an attitude or need our roles reaffirmed, it takes the embarrassment and humiliation to bring me down, along with spankings. 

 

Is this degrading to what DD is about?  TTWD?  LDD?  Does this happen to other women?

 

Or does this qualify as D/s????? 

 

Thank you all so much for your support and answers that are to come!  I love it that I have a place I can come and blog and talk freely about these things!  Thank you!

 

~Jane

Rebekah's Submission: Still smoke free and a touch less moody than befor...

Rebekah's Submission: Still smoke free and a touch less moody than befor...: Have you ever had one of those days where you can't even stand to be around yourself?  Take the fact that I've quit smoking and I gu...

I've been staying in trouble! :(

I can't even begin to tell you how many spankings I have gotten!

Yesterday I started with gettin sassy in a text message and his response was "Panties off NOW".... /sigh  Plus the last 2 days prior to that Ive been havin to write lines......

Last night HOH had me do corner time, panties dropped to the floor and he makes sure my shirt is up high enough and if its not he comes and spanks my rear and pulls it up again, he seems to want my butt on display as much as it can be.......... Then I got discipline for having a "wall" up and being distant...... and then for havin a bratty attitude the night before, then I got maintence. 

He told me Im getting maintence every night until further notice. 

Then this morning I still had a wall up and because of that and for some other reason he had me in the closet, panties down with the hair brush.   :(   

Then when we came back to bed he said I still had a attitude and I did....... and I told him that he is still leaving me in control.  He was quiet for a few mins, and then he said "You know what, you are not in control anymore."  He grabbed me by my wrist firmly took me again into the closet, told me to pull down my panties in a firm voice and this time gave me a good hard sound spanking that I had no control over, I didn't know when he was going to stop even tho I was starting to move around.  After he was done, still in a firm voice, he told me to pull my panties up and took me again firmly by the wrist and walked me to the bed and told me to get back in bed.   I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he said "you can in a little bit." So after we talked for a few more minutes he asked me if I really had to go to the bathroom again, and I was doomed!  Because I didn't really have to go, it was my way of still acting out, I guess.   So because of lying to show out, even though I was acting alot better, another trip into the closet and I got it with the hair brush AGAIN! 

He then informed me that NOW we are doing maintenance in the morning and at night.

However we are seeing HUGE improvement though!!!!!!!!  The other day I finally got EVERYTHING on my chore list done, and in the time fame he wanted them done!   I was so proud of myself and he was proud of me also!    Finally I was able to stick to a schedule, and work on my time managment.

Even after this mornings spanking(s)....... Im in for more tonight because I have already broke one rule which is discipline which mean a spanking and corner time..... and then maintenance.   

My poor red glowing butt!   But I wouldn't change a thing!   DD has brought us so much closer!  It is helping me in so many areas of my life and our marriage.   The only thing I would change is hubby  gettin more firm with me, and I want him to be!   I love him so much for that!   I NEED that! Yet, he is very loving and always kissing me and holding me.......  

Jane   ~~~ Madly in love with Tarzan

Why is it?

Can someone explain to me, which I have a strong idea myself and from things Ive read, but I would like others thoughts..............Can someone explain why if the HOH of the house makes me stand in the corner naked, legs spread apart and hand on your head after and/or during the spanking for a break it has such a power effect?   It is a turn on, yes.... but also very embarrassing.  Why is it you feel so much more submissive tho?   Its like a package deal?

Also, why is it when HOH tells you to not wear panties for the day, it makes you feel............. I don't know the words for it.................Anyone else know what Im saying?    Like today...... Hubby told me no panties......

Can anyone explain these to me?  

I know how I feel but trying to figure out how to word it and if the way I feel is like anyone else?   Other HOHs and wives feel free to answer!!!!!  Please! 

~Jane

Last night was...ummm... a bit different.....

Ive always been a smart mouth!   Im a smart mouth even when I don't know it!  

Hubby gave me 3 strikes yesterday.... I was just jokin around and playin..... but after the fact realized it was in fact disrespectful.   I just don't know when to stop and when enough is enough.   I've been this way my entire life.   When he says thats strike 1.... I don't believe him or I laugh.

So last night I ended up with a maintenance. 

But........

He did something else that we have not done yet in our DD lifestyle, and he said he was not sure if he would.   I was shocked at the effect it had on me. 

Yes, corner time!   :(    Wow!   I felt horrible with this!  He sent me in the closet and told me to pull down my panties, spread my legs, hand on the back on my head and he pulled up my shirt enough that my entire butt was showing.   The effect it had on me was powerful!   Needless to say I don't know if I like it or hate it.   It was very humiliating when HOH would walk in and Im standing there like that, but it made me feel vulnerable to the man I love, which in turn brought submission.   So good things about it, and things I do not like about it at all.   But the effects of it I think out way the good of it.  After that I got my discipline and I submitted to it with no back talk. 

My HOH has stepped into this role so fast!  I never knew he had it in him!  He is alot more firm with me, he is not lettin me get away with things, and now not only is he disciplining me with spankings, he is doing maintenance, and now corner time.  His spankings are starting to become a huge dread because he is spanking alot longer and a lot harder which is a GREAT thing for me b/c the longer and harder he does it the more of an impression it makes.   And from all of that, I respect this man I married more than ever!!!!!  I love every bit of authority he has over me!  

Actually I forgot, I got 2 maintenance spankings yesterday.   When I woke up yesterday morning my nerves were on edge and he knew it.  I mentioned that I might need one (I promised to tell him when I felt I might) and he took me in the closet and gave me one.  As soon as it was over it reset my thinking.

So thankful for DD in our life!  TiH, TTWD!   More so thankful for my HOH for taking this and running with it and making me fall into submission like the wife I should be.

~Jane DDLearning

Spanking Survey I found

SPANKING SURVEY

Have you ever gotten spanked?     YES!

Are you spanked bare bottomed, over panties, or over clothes?  Bare Bottom

What is the best thing about being spanked? It makes me feel loved and cared - it makes me feel submissve and lets my husband exercise his authority over me when Ive done something that needs correcting.  But it also keeps me vulnerable and feminine for the man I trust, it reinforces our roles in our marriage.

What position do you get spanked in?    However, my husband desires to give me a spanking I will submitt.  Usually its me bending all the way over.  Tho I have been OTK, and a few times over the hood of the car in our garage b/c of company.

Have you ever gotten spanked in public? No

What do you get spanked with the most? Rubber Hair Brush

On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?  It varies

Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush? Yes

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?  Yes

Were you spanked as a child? No, not really.

Do you think spanking is fun?  I do at times find it erotic, but when it comes down to pulling down my panties and bending over..... Then its not erotic.

Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket, etc)?  No.

Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?   Yes, maintenance in our household is for many reasons, but one of those reasons is if my HOH decides it just needs to be done just as a reminder or to just put me in a feminine mood, more submissive.  Or flat out just because..... Just b/c he feels its due.

Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher? No

Is your butt spankable?  It must be.
Are you currently in trouble?   Probably, hubby keeps asking me if I did something when he told me to, by a certain time frame and I keep ignoring the question and answering with other things.

Do you get lectured during the spanking? No, not during.  But like last night, he wanted to make sure I knew why.

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked? Not as an adult.

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing? No

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying? No

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument in one spanking session?   Yes.... Hairbrush, wooden spoon, blind rod, and hand

Do you hate spankings?  It is a very strong love/hate relationship with it.  I know I need it, it has helped.  It has made our marriage so much stronger!   It was what we both needed.

How many people spank you? Just my husband.

Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?  I suppose.

Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was purple?  Bruised

Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?  I view it as discipline.  And yes!  However, corner time also sucks.

Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse? Definitely better.

Is your butt red and sore afterwards?  Yes.  HOH likes to see it glow red.



Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker? No

Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?  Yes

Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?  Yes.  Ive also asked for maintenance, however HOH usually knows when I need both.
Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?   No.  Is it because Im ashamed?  NO!  But I doubt they would understand.   It not like its a secret, but rather its something private between me and my HOH.

 
Have you ever gotten you butt caned? No.

Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon? Yes.

What do you get spanked for?  Lots of reasons.

On average, how many times a month are you spanked?  Just about every day, or every other day.

Do your friends know that you get spanked?  No

.
On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious,such as speeding?  it varies.  Sometimes not so hard and therefore doesn't have that much of an effect and usually leads to a spanking later.  The harder and longer he goes the more of an impression it makes and resets my thinking and takes away my control and makes me more submissive and vunlnerable to my husband, which makes me for feminine for him and give him the respect he deserves.

Have you ever gotten your butt belted?  No

Have you ever gotten your butt paddled? No

After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offense?  Every day it seems, but slowly, VERY slowly we are seeing benefits in some of the correction my HOH sees I need to make.

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?  He likes seeing my butt glow I think.....Does he get off on it?  I dont think so, but he does enjoy after it when I feel like I melt into him and I am at his mercy and he has taken away my pride and spanks me back into submission, and vulnerable to him.

When is the last time you got spanked?  Embarrassing corner time and yes spanking.

Have you ever spanked yourself?  No.

What is the worst thing about being spanked?  Pulling down my panties in front of my husband.   Its embarrassing and then bending over.   However again, this DOES serve a STRONG purpose!  Submissive, feminine, vulnerable and remembering our roles.

How long does the spanking last? It varies, tho they seem to be getting longer and harder.

Do you like to be spanked?  See above.

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?  Both!!!!  No doubt!  I have to have rules as HOH and I have figured out, it is important in our marriage..... However Im always breakin them it seems........... but slowly.......... things are getting better and Im learning..... Discipline has helped a lot.....  and the connection we share.......

I am in big trouble for tonight. But I deserve it!

I feel so bad!   I will take any discipline that my HOH feels I need! 

Today it was all fine.... We were joking around on the phone and then, still while joking, out of my mouth comes, "You freaking Son of a B****" and as soon as it came out of my mouth I was shocked!!!!!!! 

I right away told him I was sorry!!!!! 

He said I am in trouble when he gets home.  He understands I was playing around but still it was disrespectful.  

But we have gotten so close that I am actually NOT dreading this spanking, rather I deserve it and welcome it! 

Before DD I would not have cared that I said that, that it was wrong.   But today was the first day that I actually feel bad that I disrepected him and called him that even though I was playing around and obviously did not mean it!  

I feel TERRIBLE!!  

I told him many times how sorry I was and then sent him an email.   I am NOT trying to get out of discipline at all, instead I deserve every bit of it and I am going to try my best to not move and like last night while being spanked think really hard about why I am being spanked. 

Tarzan, if you are reading this, again I am so sorry!  So sorry!

Please discipline me accordingly because I deserve it!  I deserve the worse discipline that I've had yet!  Writing lines, spanking, corner time, spanking again... Whatever YOU feel is needed as you have 100% control of me because I am yours.   I feel horrible and I NEVER EVER want to slip up like that again.   I am so sorry! 

I love you Tarzan!

Yours forever,
Jane DDlearning

ouch!

Ok.... So last night I really messed up!

Yikes and Ouch!

Last night was maintenance which we agreed we would do for the next few days because there has been some distancing, mainly from me. 

Plus I didn't get everything done on my chore list. 

After the maintenance I was crying!   He gave me a few minutes to and then I asked to go ahead and do my discipline so we could get it over with.

I am happy to say and proud of myself because I knew it was all coming and so I had the container I bend over in our closest set up with rubber back hair brush, and wooden spoon, and the blind (that opens and closes the blinds) stick ready.   I was just in my T-shirt because I had just got out of the shower and I was waiting for him when he got home. 

Let me tell you --- the rubber brush HURTS! 

Our new way of handling things is working out great for us..... I can not talk while the spanking is happening, and the way we have me positioned he can hold me down.   We have also decided that he will stop when he is ready, that I am not going to know how many smacks.   With doing all that it takes my control away.

Well then last night I got an attitude, but I didn't see it!  I was laughin an playing around, but HOH said that I was being disrespectful even though I was playing around.  He warned me but I still didn't see it.   So back into the closet we went, rubber hair brush again. 

When we came out, I was sittin on the bed and he said he could tell that I still had an attitude. In all honesty I was just playin around with him.  Yet he said I was still disrespectful.  So back into the bathroom we went.  This time instead of our normal spot, I had to bend over the tub and he used the blind rod.   When he was done I was still sassy, and I kinda giggled......... Not meaning to....... So he pulled me back in the closet for another round of the rubber brush.  This time I tried to relax and think about what he was sayin while I was gettin spanked and he just kept spanking and spanking and finally I saw what he was saying.

After that spanking I saw exactly what he was saying.   It took him spanking me a few times to get it into my thick head!!!!!

So, yeah.......... OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 

 

But afterwards.............because he corrected me and helped me. 

We ended up here...............

 

 

 

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Hubby knew what I needed!

Sooo for the last few days.... Not that we have been slackin in DD..... Its just I haven't done anything to warrant punishment (well maybe I have -- bad attitude one night but hubby gave me about 5 mins to pull it together or else attitude adjustment)

But the last few days - week has been hard on me..... Plus PMSin really bad!!!!!!

But yesterday he sent me an email saying that I was gettin Maintenance!  Ok, this is strange b/c last week he wasn't so keen on that idea!  

I asked him why?   He said b/c as we have continue to apply DD in our marriage he is learning alot.  He saw that I was becoming slowly distant.   And guess what?  He was RIGHT!  I saw it in myself, but didn't KNOW that I really needed maintenance.  

We have added a few things, as we are reading more and learning more......... NOW, I have no idea how many smacks I am going to get..... I have no control over that!   And last night after he gave the maintenance, I felt better and knew it was what I needed!!!!!!  But after that something still didnt feel right.   I want him in 100% control, meaning I don't want to be able to make any rules or suggestions regarding discipline or maintenance.    I need to be at his mercy..... I've noticed that I can start sayin 'ouch' early on and it will shorten it..... but he already figured that out.    But after last night I requested (which I don't know WHY I do that.... b/c I don't want it..... and its embarrassing...)  to have another maintenance, but this time I am NOT allowed to ask him to stop and if I do he is to go longer and harder and he agreed that was the best thing to do. 

So into our closet once again!   I felt so much better after that!  I need to have NOOOO control!  NONE, that is his job!  

I am so proud of how seriously he has stepped up and has become firm with me.  He tells me now that I am his.... and it makes me feel good and it makes me want to make him happy and stay connected to him.  (which does mean through discipline for wrong actions or maintenance)  He told me that he is getting alot more comfortable with this and I can tell that he is!  I am so thankful!  

I am so thankful that he picked up on last night what I needed!  It reinforced in BOTH of us TTWD and how great it is for us!   It reinforced his authority over me as HOH, and me as being submissive and belonging to him.

I told him that I felt like for the next few nights maintenance should probably take place b/c I have had a lot on my mind lately and I guess I have been drifting......

What are some other ways to make our discipline, and maintenance more meaningful, me more at his mercy where I have NOOOO control?  (I felt so much more loved, respected him more last night and felt like I could trust him so much more, and I felt like I belonged to him)   

So what else can we do to keep it where I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO control over our DD? 
Those few things we have changed has helped so much!!!!!!

Thanks yall!

~Jane DDLearning